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    Hi, i'm 18, female, and my boyfriend 22. We've been together 5 months and a couple of months ago, i lost my virginity to him.

    Since things have progressed, we've discussed things we'd like to try sexually. Oral has come up in conversation several times, he'd like to do it. But the thing is, I find the idea quite disgusting. Is this strange? Its just the whole idea of mouths touching genitals...don't mean to sound like a prude, but the thought of it makes me feel a little bit sick. Does anyone else feel the same? Am I right to feel this way? Should I try it? To be fair, i've never tried it so don't KNOW for sure that I won't enjoy it. (please note, not asking for sex tips here)

    My reasons other than hygiene for finding oral off-putting include:
    - I think, in some way, its degrading. Don't want to start an argument here... but something about it makes me feel like the one performing oral is doing a favour for the other.
    - I'm scared of doing it the wrong way to him, accidentally hurting him or something
    - Gagging. Enough said
    - If he does it to me, i'm worried he won't enjoy it
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    but something about it makes me feel like the one performing oral is doing a favour for the other.

    Oral sex is just the best giving and receiving but I can fully understand that some people don't like doing it but...

    1.don't do favours for your bf?

    2.I'd ask if anyone had ever given you decent oral sex, because if they had you'll definitly want more.
    • #2
    #2

    Male here.

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hi, i'm 18, female, and my boyfriend 22. We've been together 5 months and a couple of months ago, i lost my virginity to him.

    Since things have progressed, we've discussed things we'd like to try sexually. Oral has come up in conversation several times, he'd like to do it. But the thing is, I find the idea quite disgusting. Is this strange? Its just the whole idea of mouths touching genitals...don't mean to sound like a prude, but the thought of it makes me feel a little bit sick. Does anyone else feel the same? Am I right to feel this way? Should I try it? To be fair, i've never tried it so don't KNOW for sure that I won't enjoy it. (please note, not asking for sex tips here)
    Best way to get over this would be to try it just after a shower. If you're worried about the taste then have a mint or something beforehand.

    My reasons other than hygiene for finding oral off-putting include:
    - I think, in some way, its degrading. Don't want to start an argument here... but something about it makes me feel like the one performing oral is doing a favour for the other.
    - I'm scared of doing it the wrong way to him, accidentally hurting him or something
    - Gagging. Enough said
    - If he does it to me, i'm worried he won't enjoy it
    Going through these in order:

    I can't really relate to this first concern as I've enjoyed performing it. You shouldn't worry about it looking "degrading" though; you'll be in control and will have a lot of power over him when you're doing it and he'll appreciate you doing it for him. As for seeing it as a "favour" I don't understand why giving your partner (who you have already had sex with) a "favour" is a problem?

    With regard to "doing it wrong or hurting him" as long as you avoid contact with your teeth you are pretty unlikely to hurt him. I can't give you sex tips, but if you look online you'll definitely find advice for doing it well; it's not that difficult.

    You won't gag if you stay in control (and check a diagram of the most sensitive bits - you really don't need to worry about gagging). Make sure to let him know that you want to be in control and you'll be fine.

    He brought it up; he'll either enjoy going down on you or he just wants you to enjoy yourself (he wants to do you a "favour") or thinks it's worth it for you going down on him (or some combination of those three).
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    As a girl, I have to say - it honestly is true, if you don't try it, you'll never know. I've always liked it, and if he wants to do you a favour, why the hell not? I'm sure you do things for him.

    Try showering right before you do it, that might help with the hygiene aspect. But I really wouldn't worry about the whole "demeaning" thing, even though I do understand where you're coming from. If he wants it for you, and you want it for him, everyone's consenting and the giving party can stay fully in control.

    Good luck.
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    I find it disgusting too, in all honesty.
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    Weirdly, speaking as a straight male, going down on a male... kinda appeals to me. The act itself just seems so erotic and, having experienced it myself, I genuinely wouldn't mind giving so much pleasure to someone else. Plus I'd love to know how it tastes.
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    There's a reason oral sex is the most common sexual act when men are sexual together
    • #4
    #4

    I used to be like that, and I think once you have confidence with your partner it won't be an issue. Don't however, feel forced to do it because it will just make you feel worse.

    I agree with others, showering before may help with the hygiene issue and also having a mint to avoid the taste, although I can't say there is much taste and noone is telling you to let him ejaculate in your mouth the first time.

    If you want another idea, if you like nutella or chocolate spread...try putting that on there...it might make it a bit more appealing and also more fun (be warned it can get very messy!!)

    If you take things slow and avoid teeth you wont hurt him...and unless you try and stick it right down your throat you wont gag...

    I used to think it was disgusting and always said I would never do it...now, I quite enjoy doing it and receiving it and...it is one way that you are in control and it is always nice to see them enjoy yourself

    hope this helps..and remember..don't feel pressurised into doing it if you aren't ready!

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    I think everyone feels uncomfortable with this sort of thing to start off with, however, its something to persevere with! I love both and I know my boyfriend does too. Personally, I prefer to be in control of the situation if I'm giving, that way you can go as deep as you want without gagging and you have all the power, so it is in no way degrading - so just start with that! I would start with just doing it as foreplay, that way you can do it for about 5 mins, and don't have to worry about anything else! Just brave it!
    • #5
    #5

    Male here.
    I'm scared of going down on girls for the same reason, kinda. Bad experience with a girl who let's say, wasn't the most hygienic. Can REALLY put you off it.
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    My boyfriend always appreciates it when it's the time of the month - it's an alternative for him and, like the posters have been saying, it's not as bad as you think & you really do enjoy knowing you're making him squirm (I don't mean him giving me head while its the time of the month - now that really would be gross imo..)
    In terms of hygiene - if you've been having sex with him, surely you know he's well kept (by what you were saying, you don't sound like the type that would sleep with someone who wasnt) and if you don't like it, all you need to do is stop
    I'm pretty sure he'd understand if you didn't like it.
    • #1
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    (Original post by ohisayx)
    My boyfriend always appreciates it when it's the time of the month - it's an alternative for him and, like the posters have been saying, it's not as bad as you think & you really do enjoy knowing you're making him squirm (I don't mean him giving me head while its the time of the month - now that really would be gross imo..)
    In terms of hygiene - if you've been having sex with him, surely you know he's well kept (by what you were saying, you don't sound like the type that would sleep with someone who wasnt) and if you don't like it, all you need to do is stop
    I'm pretty sure he'd understand if you didn't like it.
    Thank you yeah he seems 'clean' and everything, but he is a little...hairy, in the area. Not directly on it, but surrounding it, if you get my drift, without being too graphic. I mean, what if it gets stuck on my teeth and i hurt him? I don't want to hurt him. I'm up for giving it a try if i know it wont cause pain. Should I ask him to trim? Or is that a bad thing to ask?

    Also, the notion of my head bobbing up and down down there makes me feel a bit odd, do you know what I mean? I think it'll feel quite un-natural
    • #2
    #2

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Thank you yeah he seems 'clean' and everything, but he is a little...hairy, in the area. Not directly on it, but surrounding it, if you get my drift, without being too graphic. I mean, what if it gets stuck on my teeth and i hurt him? I don't want to hurt him. I'm up for giving it a try if i know it wont cause pain. Should I ask him to trim? Or is that a bad thing to ask?
    He's unlikely to have a problem with you asking him to trim if it means you'll go down on him.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hi, i'm 18, female, and my boyfriend 22. We've been together 5 months and a couple of months ago, i lost my virginity to him.

    Since things have progressed, we've discussed things we'd like to try sexually. Oral has come up in conversation several times, he'd like to do it. But the thing is, I find the idea quite disgusting. Is this strange? Its just the whole idea of mouths touching genitals...don't mean to sound like a prude, but the thought of it makes me feel a little bit sick. Does anyone else feel the same? Am I right to feel this way? Should I try it? To be fair, i've never tried it so don't KNOW for sure that I won't enjoy it. (please note, not asking for sex tips here)

    My reasons other than hygiene for finding oral off-putting include:
    - I think, in some way, its degrading. Don't want to start an argument here... but something about it makes me feel like the one performing oral is doing a favour for the other.
    - I'm scared of doing it the wrong way to him, accidentally hurting him or something
    - Gagging. Enough said
    - If he does it to me, i'm worried he won't enjoy it
    Well don't feel forced into doing anything against your will. But if you're up for trying it, why not?


    (Original post by navarre)
    Weirdly, speaking as a straight male, going down on a male... kinda appeals to me. The act itself just seems so erotic and, having experienced it myself, I genuinely wouldn't mind giving so much pleasure to someone else. Plus I'd love to know how it tastes.
    I don't think you're as straight as you think you are. Experiment! There's no harm, and who knows, you might re-discover yourself.
 
 
 
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