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A few pieces of advice to answer the same few questions that come up on this forum. Watch

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    Question: I like a girl but am scared of rejection? What do I do?

    The wrong answer: Subtly hint to her that you like her for about a year, and be the best friend you can to her until you have a hollywood-esque moment where you fall for each other.

    The right answer: Ask her out. if you can't get her alone, do it casually by text. If you get accepted, that's great. If you get rejected, it's upsetting, but you can move on. You'll never move on if you never ask.

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    Question: I've fallen for my best friend for years of the opposite gender but don't want to ask them out in case we lose our friendship. What do I do?

    The wrong answer: Subtly hint to her that you like her for about five years, and be the best friend you can to her until you have a Hollywood-esque moment where you fall for each other.

    The right answer: Ask her out. Don't confess your absolute love, but say that you're beginning to like them. This can ruin a friendship, but if you're true friends underneath the feelings then it'll be awkward for a bit and you can move on and carry on being friends.

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    Question: Is my (insert body part here) too small?

    The wrong answer: Yes

    The right answer: Yes, most guys prefer big boobs, but most people prefer a a chunky kit kat to a regular one. It's a bonus, but it really doesn't make much difference. And since 50-75% of girls can't orgasm through penetration anyway, the size of your penis is pretty irrelevant. Use your imagination.

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    Question: I've never had sex/a partner and I'm over 20. Will I ever?

    The wrong answer: No

    The right answer: Only about 5% of people go through their lives without having sex, and the vast majority of those are deliberately celibate through religion or asexuality. You will meet someone - as this forum suggests, "late" starters are very common. Don't get desperate and try to go out with anyone, but don't lock yourself away either. Meet new people, you'll make friends and you never know.

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    Question: I'm short/ugly, will the opposite gender ever like me?

    The wrong answer: No

    The right answer: Sexual and romantic attraction is about far more than looks. Confidence and humour are as if not more importance. Why do good-looking people do well because their looks give them confidence. But confidence is a projection - you don't need anything to back it up.

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    Question: Why do girls/boys go for jerks/sluts? I'm a nice guy/girl.

    The wrong answer: Because that's how the world is.

    The right answer: First, read the articles below. Girls go for jerks because confidence is almost universally attractive. A true jerk will struggle to keep a relationship going, as eventually he'll be a bit of jerk to his GF. Niceness is not attractive, but it does help with the commitment phase of attraction, which begins roughly 6 months in (there are 3 types of love/attraction, sexual, romantic and commitment/companisonship).

    Guys go for sluts because a majority of guys (and a minority of girls) enjoy casual sex. This doesn't mean they'd actually go out with said slut. You don't need to be slutty to get male attention, but you can't hide in a corner and expect to be noticed. Make conversation, be a bit forward - that doesn't require sleeping around or revealing lots of skin.

    ----

    Please read the below articles, they're short and really interesting - the first explains how everyone else sees you, and the second explains why men think they're entitled to a hot, perfect girl and how that can be unrealistic.

    http://www.cracked.com/blog/6-harsh-...better-person/

    http://www.cracked.com/article_19785...ate-women.html
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    Good answers. Now noone will need to make any new posts on TSR.
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    (Original post by talon1579)
    Only about 5% of people go through their lives without having sex
    Out of interest, where's that statistic from? It sounds very high.
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    (Original post by tomclarky)
    Out of interest, where's that statistic from? It sounds very high.
    Well, really, as well as monks, nuns, etc., there are a lot of people with mental disabilities that prevent them from being able to give informed consent to sexual acts, plus a lot of people who don't make it to the age of consent.

    Child deaths would probably be 5% on their own, so the figure is a reasonable estimate.
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    (Original post by dendodge)
    Well, really, as well as monks, nuns, etc., there are a lot of people with mental disabilities that prevent them from being able to give informed consent to sexual acts, plus a lot of people who don't make it to the age of consent.

    Child deaths would probably be 5% on their own, so the figure is a reasonable estimate.
    Fair enough, i guess i wasn't thinking about people that had died early or weren't capable of having sex.
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    Needs to be stickied so there are no more pointless threads lol

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    (Original post by talon1579)
    Question: I like a girl but am scared of rejection? What do I do?
    A useful service! Perhaps all of the Relationship and Advice with Everyday Issues forums could be replaced with this simple FAQ, although we need to add a few more questions to do with student grants, does my hair look any good, am I good looking, is there a God and is it true that everything in the Daily Mail is true?
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    I fear this will not put an end to people asking these questions.. However I appreciate the gesture and will give you a bump.
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    Aaboutabout Good answers, just to add a bit.

    I don't think the first answer is very helpful. The person knows they SHOULD just ask them out, but they are scared. I think it's reassuring to know that this is extremely common. It's easy to feel, as a teenager espeically, that only you have these insecurities, but everyone is in the same boat. Fear of rejection is a powerful thing, it only goes away with personal security. You have to get out there, talk to people, you'll likely find it is a lot more daunting in theory.

    On the "I'm too unattractive" one, I'd say the "it gets better" slogan doesn't just apply to gay kids. Teenagers are very shallow generally, and worried about how others perceive them. As you get older, people get more secure in themselves and less worried about outside perceptions.
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    (Original post by ZRO)
    Needs to be stickied so there are no more pointless threads lol

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    This. I very rarely see original threads in the H&R forum nowadays.
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    This also the reason why I think the H&R forum seems unbelievably cluttered, its cause people make the same threads again and again and again and again and again and again.......

















    ......and again times infinite. :facepalm2:
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    I agree with most, except the short/ugly one should be specified for men only.
    Yes confidence matters - but much, much more so for men since it signalizes power and social status - male attraction cues. Men are the visual sex, and a woman needs to take care of herself to garner male attention. Your appearance attracts him, your personality makes him stay. No man wants to be with an insecure woman, but she is only has to have a 'reasonable' confidence level. A woman can be as outgoing as she wants, but if she's overweight, never uses makeup and does her hair, or wear sweatpants 7 days a week, it really doesn't matter.
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    (Original post by Zarek)
    Good answers. Now noone will need to make any new posts on TSR.
    But they will anyway. :rolleyes:
 
 
 
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