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Am I too nice for a girlfriend? Watch

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    Hey. I'm 20 years old, have a great job but girls don't seem to notice me? I'm tall, well built but girls seem to call me "cute" and that's as far as it goes. I haven't had a girlfriend since I was 17. I've been on dates etc, but they just end up going nowhere & I think its because I'm too nice?

    My dad was the total opposite, so I guess I've been brought up to be nice towards women. I give compliments and we have banter. I'm not shy or quiet around girls, in fact I'm very confident but girls seem to prefer total morons?

    For example, there's been a couple of girls I was talking to and they seemed to like me but they preferred another guy, or their ex who were COMPLETELY disrespectful? I don't get it. It feels like I should start being disrespectful towards women, maybe that way I'd be noticed and get somewhere cause being nice isn't really getting me anywhere? Any tips on how I can move along from being "too nice"? I don't wanna be rude, but obviously I'm doing something wrong
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    (Original post by jay_)
    Hey. I'm 20 years old, have a great job but girls don't seem to notice me? I'm tall, well built but girls seem to call me "cute" and that's as far as it goes. I haven't had a girlfriend since I was 17. I've been on dates etc, but they just end up going nowhere & I think its because I'm too nice?

    My dad was the total opposite, so I guess I've been brought up to be nice towards women. I give compliments and we have banter. I'm not shy or quiet around girls, in fact I'm very confident but girls seem to prefer total morons?

    For example, there's been a couple of girls I was talking to and they seemed to like me but they preferred another guy, or their ex who were COMPLETELY disrespectful? I don't get it. It feels like I should start being disrespectful towards women, maybe that way I'd be noticed and get somewhere cause being nice isn't really getting me anywhere?

    Any tips on how I can move along from being "too nice"? I don't wanna be rude, but obviously I'm doing something wrong

    oh hell no!! The morons are the girls that can't appreciate a nice guy.

    It's not that guy's disrespectful/dickishness that's appealing to some girls, it's their confidence. I know you said that you act confident but the fact that you're questioning yourself probably shows that you're not all the confident. Don't start being disrespectful towards women, there's enough idiots in the world that fill that quota thanks.

    Maybe you're just acting keen towards a girl a bit soon? I know that for me, if a guy gets really keen, really quickly, it's a bit off putting. Nothing wrong with taking your time
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    You may be looking in all the wrong places. You'll find someone OP! Chin up.
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    (Original post by The Wild Youth)
    oh hell no!! The morons are the girls that can't appreciate a nice guy.

    It's not that guy's disrespectful/dickishness that's appealing to some girls, it's their confidence. I know you said that you act confident but the fact that you're questioning yourself probably shows that you're not all the confident. Don't start being disrespectful towards women, there's enough idiots in the world that fill that quota thanks.

    Maybe you're just acting keen towards a girl a bit soon? I know that for me, if a guy gets really keen, really quickly, it's a bit off putting. Nothing wrong with taking your time
    Hmm yeah thats true, but I act like me if that makes sense? Obviously I say they look nice etc, etc and we do have banter. It's just that I don't understand why they drop me so quick. All of my mates act disrespectful & they have new girlfriends every few weeks lol. It's confusing :|
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    your niceness has nothing to do with it

    There are 100's of attractive traits and all you have is nice?? This '*******' probably has many attractive traits.

    oh and being nice to get a girl is manipulative and isnt nice at all
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    (Original post by g36c)
    your niceness has nothing to do with it

    There are 100's of attractive traits and all you have is nice?? This '*******' probably has many attractive traits.

    oh and being nice to get a girl is manipulative and isnt nice at all
    Being nice is the only thing I'm commenting on because that's all that confuses me.
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    (Original post by jay_)
    Being nice is the only thing I'm commenting on because that's all that confuses me.
    being nice is a tiny part of it because it isnt something that attracts a girl.

    You say you have banter with girls, but do you escalate from there? like touching or turning the convo to sexual things?
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    (Original post by g36c)
    being nice is a tiny part of it because it isnt something that attracts a girl.

    You say you have banter with girls, but do you escalate from there? like touching or turning the convo to sexual things?
    Ah, I see what you're saying now. Yeah I do, but sometimes its awkward. Although I'm confident, I do consciously think of what I'm doing & don't wanna mess things up at the same time. Know what I mean?
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    Do you really want these girls that go for morons? You're better than them.

    They're just people with weird 'I can fix him' complexes'. Find someone who isn't insecure.
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    Sounds like you're kinda getting friendzoned, just be more flirty and make your intentions clear and you'll be fine buddy
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    You're perfect. Don't change the way you are - I'd love to have a guy like you by my side :blushing:
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    (Original post by marcus2001)
    Sounds like you're kinda getting friendzoned, just be more flirty and make your intentions clear and you'll be fine buddy
    Aha yeah, that's pretty much it! Thing is I have done before, but I also find it hard to drop it into convo at times
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    (Original post by jay_)
    Ah, I see what you're saying now. Yeah I do, but sometimes its awkward. Although I'm confident, I do consciously think of what I'm doing & don't wanna mess things up at the same time. Know what I mean?
    You mean your afraid of making the move basically?

    Start small and make your way up, get in the habit of light touching everyone you talk too anyway.

    but if you want a girl then you HAVE to escalate otherwise they wont see you as more than a friend. Just start slow and see if shes receptive, after practice then it wont be awkward at all.
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    (Original post by Hal.E.Lujah)
    Do you really want these girls that go for morons? You're better than them.

    They're just people with weird 'I can fix him' complexes'. Find someone who isn't insecure.
    Haha yeah you're right. Just lately everyone I meet isn't like that & it does get you down I guess
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    (Original post by g36c)
    You mean your afraid of making the move basically?

    Start small and make your way up, get in the habit of light touching everyone you talk too anyway.

    but if you want a girl then you HAVE to escalate otherwise they wont see you as more than a friend. Just start slow and see if shes receptive, after practice then it wont be awkward at all.
    I am a little, andthea girl I've been talking to recently was receptive to it. But she still thought I was too nice, and I don't understand that as its happened beforehand. Obviously we kissed & stuff, as I have with previous girls.. but I don't get the mentality
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    You called yourself confident, well then you shouldn't feel you need to change yourself to get a girl. Just make sure you put yourself out there and meet plenty of people, above all make your intentions known before they like someone else or some others guy tries busting in on your girl before you have the chance to make a move.
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    (Original post by jay_)
    Hey. I'm 20 years old, have a great job but girls don't seem to notice me? I'm tall, well built but girls seem to call me "cute" and that's as far as it goes. I haven't had a girlfriend since I was 17. I've been on dates etc, but they just end up going nowhere & I think its because I'm too nice?

    My dad was the total opposite, so I guess I've been brought up to be nice towards women. I give compliments and we have banter. I'm not shy or quiet around girls, in fact I'm very confident but girls seem to prefer total morons?

    For example, there's been a couple of girls I was talking to and they seemed to like me but they preferred another guy, or their ex who were COMPLETELY disrespectful? I don't get it. It feels like I should start being disrespectful towards women, maybe that way I'd be noticed and get somewhere cause being nice isn't really getting me anywhere? Any tips on how I can move along from being "too nice"? I don't wanna be rude, but obviously I'm doing something wrong
    Well, don't overdo it - loads of girls like a nice guy but they don't want it to get to silly levels or look like you're trying too hard. Just be yourself and try to relax, I'm sure you will find the right person before too long! Don't try to "act nasty" or anything stupid like that. As you get older and more experienced you can only get more attractive because your personality will get more complicated and interesting.
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    (Original post by jay_)
    I am a little, andthea girl I've been talking to recently was receptive to it. But she still thought I was too nice, and I don't understand that as its happened beforehand. Obviously we kissed & stuff, as I have with previous girls.. but I don't get the mentality
    Girls like a challenge, push/pull. dont be too needy, it sounds like you can escalate since you have got to the kissing. But you have to show her that you can DOMINATE, are you the one leading her? making the decisions? take ****ing control! girls love to be dominated.

    Act like the man and that shes joining in YOUR awesome life.
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    (Original post by g36c)
    Girls like a challenge, push/pull. dont be too needy, it sounds like you can escalate since you have got to the kissing. But you have to show her that you can DOMINATE, are you the one leading her? making the decisions? take ****ing control! girls love to be dominated.

    Act like the man and that shes joining in YOUR awesome life.
    Thanks mate. I guess I'll try & act a little bit harder to catch and make stronger decisions. Sometimes I over-think things & I am a little self-conscious as I don't wanna mess things up after they've got so far
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    (Original post by SamHedges)
    Your post reminded me of this;



    They do say treat them mean keep them keen but that's just stupid imo

    There is actually some truth in that. Of course not act like a complete d*** but rather teasing and debating on various lighthearted issues. It keeps them interested. After that you can take it to the next stage if you wish.
 
 
 
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