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Am I too nice for a girlfriend? Watch

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    (Original post by jay_)
    Thanks mate. I guess I'll try & act a little bit harder to catch and make stronger decisions. Sometimes I over-think things & I am a little self-conscious as I don't wanna mess things up after they've got so far
    Dont be so outcome dependent. just have fun! If she doesnt like who you are? so what? on to the next one. Thats the best advice for not being needy, that you have fun with or without the girl. Then they are naturally attracted to you, compared to the guy whos whole night depends on if a girl validates them.

    go watch fight club
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    (Original post by TheWalkingOreo)
    There is actually some truth in that. Of course not act like a complete d*** but rather teasing and debating on various lighthearted issues. It keeps them interested. After that you can take it to the next stage if you wish.
    Yeah, better not to be a total pushover. I guess there's a happy medium
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    (Original post by g36c)
    Dont be so outcome dependent. just have fun! If she doesnt like who you are? so what? on to the next one. Thats the best advice for not being needy, that you have fun with or without the girl. Then they are naturally attracted to you, compared to the guy whos whole night depends on if a girl validates them.

    go watch fight club
    Hahaha, I never thought of it that way before. Thanks . I'll start having more fun & let them make more effort. Not rely on it so much cause if it happens, then it happens. Thanks
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    (Original post by jay_)
    Hey. I'm 20 years old, have a great job but girls don't seem to notice me? I'm tall, well built but girls seem to call me "cute" and that's as far as it goes. I haven't had a girlfriend since I was 17. I've been on dates etc, but they just end up going nowhere & I think its because I'm too nice?

    My dad was the total opposite, so I guess I've been brought up to be nice towards women. I give compliments and we have banter. I'm not shy or quiet around girls, in fact I'm very confident but girls seem to prefer total morons?

    For example, there's been a couple of girls I was talking to and they seemed to like me but they preferred another guy, or their ex who were COMPLETELY disrespectful? I don't get it. It feels like I should start being disrespectful towards women, maybe that way I'd be noticed and get somewhere cause being nice isn't really getting me anywhere? Any tips on how I can move along from being "too nice"? I don't wanna be rude, but obviously I'm doing something wrong
    Maybe your just going out with the wrong girls? I know I always end up with the wrong guys


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    (Original post by Rachle)
    Maybe your just going out with the wrong girls? I know I always end up with the wrong guys


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    Haha yeah that's true. If I am, then I have some terrible luck lol
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    (Original post by Jimbo1234)
    But do you know how hard it is to get a visa for other countries? :rofl:

    No. No I don't.

    [INSERT RANT ABOUT PRO EU GETTING YOU ALL PERFECT WOMEN HERE]
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    (Original post by jay_)
    Haha yeah that's true. If I am, then I have some terrible luck lol
    Don't most of us in this area x


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    (Original post by Rachle)
    Don't most of us in this area x


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    Yeah, true; I just wish that it turned around for once :confused: x
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    You will definitely find someone! I used to look past all the nice guys who made any moves/tried to pursue a relationship when i was younger. My ex was an absolute ******* as well.

    I have grown out of this. I have had enough of crap in my life due to going for morons. I hope this is also to do with me becoming more mature. Very much appreciating (and being in a relationship with) my nice guy now

    Don't let this upset you! People learn from their mistakes and I promise that one day you will meet that awesome special someone!
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    (Original post by Applegrater)
    You will definitely find someone! I used to look past all the nice guys who made any moves/tried to pursue a relationship when i was younger. My ex was an absolute ******* as well.

    I have grown out of this. I have had enough of crap in my life due to going for morons. I hope this is also to do with me becoming more mature. Very much appreciating (and being in a relationship with) my nice guy now

    Don't let this upset you! People learn from their mistakes and I promise that one day you will meet that awesome special someone!
    I really hope so. Thanks for the kind words posting on this forum has made me feel a little bit more positive than before, haha.
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    (Original post by jay_)
    Yeah, true; I just wish that it turned around for once :confused: x

    it will... eventually...
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    (Original post by Jimbo1234)
    Because nowadays girls find confidence "intimidating"...:facepalm2:
    over confidence is .. confidence and self assurance isn't. not for me anyways
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    Nice guys aren't really nice anyway, they're just nice in the vain hope that it'll get them sex
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    It's the ultimate thing, girls have always been told that if a guy is mean to them it means he likes them.
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    Lol, I have this same problem too. Just stop wasting time and go out with me already :smug::p:

    Dating is definitely really ****ing confusing business. There's probably nothing wrong with you, you just need to try and find and meet better people. Or maybe you yourself are not even noticing the nice girls around you?
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    (Original post by Applegrater)
    You will definitely find someone! I used to look past all the nice guys who made any moves/tried to pursue a relationship when i was younger. My ex was an absolute ******* as well.

    I have grown out of this. I have had enough of crap in my life due to going for morons. I hope this is also to do with me becoming more mature. Very much appreciating (and being in a relationship with) my nice guy now

    Don't let this upset you! People learn from their mistakes and I promise that one day you will meet that awesome special someone!
    I'm not a "nice" guy but I'm curious as to why you looked past them?
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    (Original post by CherryCherryBoomBoom)
    Lol, I have this same problem too. Just stop wasting time and go out with me already :smug::p:

    Dating is definitely really ****ing confusing business. There's probably nothing wrong with you, you just need to try and find and meet better people. Or maybe you yourself are not even noticing the nice girls around you?
    To be fair most of the girls I know aren't that great lol hopefully I can find someone.. after all, surely I've got to at some point?
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    In normal amounts I would say that confidence is an attractive trait, but excessive confidence and cockiness is certainy not something I would personally want in a partner/ boyfriend.
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    (Original post by Hal.E.Lujah)
    No. No I don't.

    [INSERT RANT ABOUT PRO EU GETTING YOU ALL PERFECT WOMEN HERE]
    Exactly. Basically, he's not as successful with women as he'd like to be. Whats the reason? Presumably he's doing something wrong. Oh no, that can't be it, all women must be idiots! And all of us who have girlfriends must be ****ers. Oh yeah, and girls don't like confidence, that's evidently true. If only you were in another country, everything would be different. Basically, all your problems are womens' fault. More fool them that they haven't got this guy as a boyfriend as he clearly respects women so much.

    OP, you do actually seem like a genuinely nice guy, but you are also guilty of falling into this line of thinking. Loads of nice guys have girlfriends, and treat them well, so clearly that isn't the problem. If I had to guess, I'd go with what some others have said, you aren't being flirty enough. If you want a sexual relationship with a woman, I'd say the honest thing to do is to is to make that clear. If you act like you want to be friends, it seems ridiculous to complain about being "friend zoned" (not saying you're particularly guilty of this).
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    (Original post by Mankytoes)
    Exactly. Basically, he's not as successful with women as he'd like to be. Whats the reason? Presumably he's doing something wrong. Oh no, that can't be it, all women must be idiots! And all of us who have girlfriends must be ****ers. Oh yeah, and girls don't like confidence, that's evidently true. If only you were in another country, everything would be different. Basically, all your problems are womens' fault. More fool them that they haven't got this guy as a boyfriend as he clearly respects women so much.

    OP, you do actually seem like a genuinely nice guy, but you are also guilty of falling into this line of thinking. Loads of nice guys have girlfriends, and treat them well, so clearly that isn't the problem. If I had to guess, I'd go with what some others have said, you aren't being flirty enough. If you want a sexual relationship with a woman, I'd say the honest thing to do is to is to make that clear. If you act like you want to be friends, it seems ridiculous to complain about being "friend zoned" (not saying you're particularly guilty of this).

    Hey relax, he's asking for help here, and that response was only to a known troll as a joke, as I'd already contributed to the OP's question.


    It's a fair point about getting friend zoned, you're right in saying intentions should be obvious from day 1.
 
 
 
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