Starting To Feel Inadequate to My Doctor Girlfriend

Watch
Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 7 years ago
#1
Hi folks, so I'm in my last year of uni studying History and dating a fourth year medic. We honestly get along so well and have a really healthy relationship that makes us both happy but lately i've started to find some things quite hard. Coming to the end of my history degree and having no idea what to do career wise it's likely I'm going to have to spend a couple of years soul searching / taking temporary jobs whilst I search for something I enjoy. At the same time my girlfriend is going to be going on to earn 30k Whilst I might be back in higher education.

I guess I'm just finding the prospect of having no income / career path whilst my boyfriend is a doctor on an upward stream to a 100k a little daunting and feel this horrid pressure to just find something that is esteemed and pays well in order to match my boyfriend. I'm just really worried she's going to resent me for not earning anywhere near as much

Wondering if anyone has had a similar situation or advice?
0
reply
7589200
Badges: 18
Rep:
?
#2
Report 7 years ago
#2
You could be a lawyer and earn more. So dw.
0
reply
Wild_Precious_Life
Badges: 2
Rep:
?
#3
Report 7 years ago
#3
Boyfriend or girlfriend? Make up your mind.
26
reply
SimplyMatt
Badges: 0
Rep:
?
#4
Report 7 years ago
#4
Don't worry, I heard Asda's hiring.
0
reply
username945663
Badges: 18
Rep:
?
#5
Report 7 years ago
#5
(Original post by Anonymous)
x
As long as you don't leech off her forever and do eventually find work, I don't think she will care.
0
reply
Treeroy
Badges: 17
Rep:
?
#6
Report 7 years ago
#6
(Original post by Anonymous)
Hi folks, so I'm in my last year of uni studying History and dating a fourth year medic. We honestly get along so well and have a really healthy relationship that makes us both happy but lately i've started to find some things quite hard. Coming to the end of my history degree and having no idea what to do career wise it's likely I'm going to have to spend a couple of years soul searching / taking temporary jobs whilst I search for something I enjoy. At the same time my girlfriend is going to be going on to earn 30k Whilst I might be back in higher education.

I guess I'm just finding the prospect of having no income / career path whilst my boyfriend is a doctor on an upward stream to a 100k a little daunting and feel this horrid pressure to just find something that is esteemed and pays well in order to match my boyfriend. I'm just really worried she's going to resent me for not earning anywhere near as much

Wondering if anyone has had a similar situation or advice?
Which one is it?

I wouldn't worry about it. My father earns three times as much as my mother, and I know many people in a doctor-non doctor relationship who are fine.

Money shouldn't be a concern in this context, and I'm sure no one will really mind, her included. You don't need to try to earn as much money as her, just try to be happy in whichever job you do, just as she probably will be. Honestly, I think you're just being too paranoid.
0
reply
danny111
Badges: 3
Rep:
?
#7
Report 7 years ago
#7
You have a boyfriend and a girlfriend? That must be nice for you.
1
reply
Razzamoly
Badges: 11
Rep:
?
#8
Report 7 years ago
#8
Don't feel inadequeate. I doubt she feels superior to you just because she's going to be a doctor and you aren't. In fact, I doubt she even thinks about it.

If she was going to resent this later then I doubt that she would be going out with you now.
0
reply
danny111
Badges: 3
Rep:
?
#9
Report 7 years ago
#9
Just make sure you are happy being the househusband because as it stands you will be staying home rather than her as she will be earning more.
0
reply
Climbontoyourseahorse
Badges: 9
Rep:
?
#10
Report 7 years ago
#10
I don't understand... are you in a relationship with a woman or man?

The thing to remember is that medicine is not the only 'respected' field. It might not seem like that. But it's true. There are many, many professions that require high levels of competence and intellect and deserve a great deal of respect. And at the end of the day it's not about how much money you bring in (provided you can live comfortably) and the kudos of your job title. It's about what you enjoy. There is no point having a job that is respected and pays you lots if it makes you stressed and miserable and you just don't enjoy it. The difference between a history and medicine degree is that you, the historian, will have spent typically three years studying a discipline that does not naturally lend itself to a profession, despite the fact that you can do a lot with a history degree and you'll have lots of transferable skills at the end of it. A medicine student however will have spent five years studying a discipline that is directly related to a certain job. You could get just as high-powered a job as your medic girlfriend (boyfriend?) if that is really what you want. Seriously. You can do so much with a history degree, and to be honest that's probably going to be part of your problem. What's so wrong with taking a couple of years to work out what you want to do in your work life? After all, your girlfriend will have had an additional two years at university on you. The main difference between you and your girlfriend is that she has already been moulded into a profession. You haven't yet. Don't feel inferior.
0
reply
Ice Constricter
Badges: 19
Rep:
?
#11
Report 7 years ago
#11
(Original post by Wild_Precious_Life)
Boyfriend or girlfriend? Make up your mind.
Its a tie, the OP mentioned "girlfriend" in the title and once in the OP but boyfriend twice in the OP. The OP may claim its a typo but I honestly dont see how you could make a mistake like that more than once.
1
reply
History-Student
Badges: 16
Rep:
?
#12
Report 7 years ago
#12
This has less to do with her/your choice of course, and more to do with your laziness during uni with regard to your future. Like you I gave very little thought to what I'd do after uni, and I paid the price for it.

S/He's unlikely to resent you unless you turn into a bum who has no ambition/refuses to get a job of some sort and mooches off her instead, but that's true of everyone not just doctors. She obviously knows that she's going to be a doctor and you're a typical directionless/vocationless humanities student, so this if she's sticking with you then it's presumably not an issue to her.

So basically it serves you right for not thinking about your future, but you have bigger problems than your partner leaving you over it.
0
reply
jamesh27/03/1992
Badges: 0
Rep:
?
#13
Report 5 years ago
#13
Women are the future. Most guys I reckon who experienced secondary education have suspected this a little, maybe women’s talents generally maybe, or maybe a little favouritism. None the less it is quite normal to be a pathetic example next to your girlfriend, regardless whether general society knows this, or even your girlfriend knows this- WOMEN UNDER 35 EARN MORE THAN MEN. So you had better be good looking, or good at making sandwiches- because these two selling factors are the most likely thing to keep a general woman who I have never met.
0
reply
X

Quick Reply

Attached files
Write a reply...
Reply
new posts
Back
to top
Latest
My Feed

See more of what you like on
The Student Room

You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

Personalise

Current uni students - are you thinking of dropping out of university?

Yes, I'm seriously considering dropping out (123)
14.49%
I'm not sure (36)
4.24%
No, I'm going to stick it out for now (258)
30.39%
I have already dropped out (22)
2.59%
I'm not a current university student (410)
48.29%

Watched Threads

View All