Best mate woes

Ok my best mate lives 150 miles away from me and i dont get to see her very much anymore but we usually talk on phone 2 or 3 times a day and text each other constantly...but anyway 2 weeks ago i went down to see her for a few days and things were cool and we got on really well like we have done for years.

Anyway since those days she has basically stopped talking to me for no reason whatsoever, i've since found out that she has started going out with a lad who lives near me even though they live 150 miles apart, however since this has come about she has ignored me, she wont answer the phone to me, wont call me, wont respond to texts and just blanks me on msn, its a week and a half since i spoke to her which is the longest i think i have EVER gone without talking to her.

I spoke to who used to be one of her best mates from where she lives but i've also found out that a few months ago she just stopped talking to her as well for no apparent reason...so i've realised its not me my supposed best mate must have something seriously off in her life for her to just stop talking to her 'best' mates............its really getting me down i feel lost without her :frown:

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Any suggestions people?

Reply 1

randdom

20

Leave her one more message on her answer phone saying that you don't know what has happend but you would realy like to talk about it and you are worried about her. Then leave it hopefully she will get back to you, maybe she just needs some time on her own. Really there isn't much else that you can do.

Reply 2

envious

There is no point in pestering in her to death, so I agree with randomm, leave her one more answer phone message, or better yet write her a letter and then wait for her to respond. Without her communicating with you, it's impossible to say what could have possibly made her want to stop talking to you. The fact that she has fallen out with her other friend may suggest that she has a possessive boyfriend or whatever, but it really is impossible to say :confused:

It is natural when friends find boyfriends that they will tend to spend less time with their mates. Cutting you out of her life completely however, is a bit extreme especially when you have been making all the effort, so I think the letter that you send her should really express how lonely you feel without her and how much you treasure the friendship. At least then she might think twice about flippantly throwing your friendship away :smile:

Reply 3

Ting-Ting

If it makes you feel any better, I think i have been on your best friend's side of things. Since im on my placement year this year, I am now suddenly 4hrs away from my bf and I could only think about how much i miss him etc etc

anyways during this whole time my best friends kept sending me messages and stuff but i usually forget to reply to them or just too busy talking on the phone to my bf to care. After a few months i realise how wrong i was and started contact with my friends again and they told me how i worrried them to death about it!! i felt sooo bad for it and since then have been in good contact with them again :smile:

I agree with the above. Sending her a handwritten letter might add a more personal touch than a text and then give it a few more weeks. Maybe she's just too busy with her new lad? maybe she is actually busy with work? who knows eh? but im sure she didn't just blank you out of the blue, there must be a reason and im sure she'll tell you when this whole thing is over.

Reply 4

sergioib

2

I think she should soon realise she could lose her friends if she keeps on doing what she does and if she doesn't care at all about all of you. Everyone knows friends last forever and boyfriends or girlfriends don't normally last forever (even less at this age) so try to let her know you're still there for her but also let her know she could lose you if she keeps on that way. That should work. What annoys me though is that she'll call you whenever she's had an argument with her boyfriend or something and you'll still be there... Anyways, from what you told, this friendship is worth waiting for her to get over from this so just be patient, good luck :wink:

Reply 5

Flank Runner

randdom

Leave her one more message on her answer phone saying that you don't know what has happend but you would realy like to talk about it and you are worried about her. Then leave it hopefully she will get back to you, maybe she just needs some time on her own. Really there isn't much else that you can do.

Sheer genius, this is exactly what you should do, the more you pester, the more they ignore, however if you show maturity and concern your friend will feel more open to talk to you, good luck

Best mate woes

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