What to do! :(

just got back home to find my sock drawer emtied out onto the bed which has condoms and lube (im gay) inside. Those items have been put into a box which they werent in so im sure that my mum has seen it.
Shes been quiet so far, probs waiting for dad to come bak home...but im reli scared of whats going to happen, they wont accept it at all if they find out. I think it could lead to me being chucked out of the house.

please help on what i should do if it comes down to them pressurin me for answers..

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Reply 1

1013

Is the prob that they find out you're gay, or that you have been having sex?

Reply 2

lovelee-jublee

Be straight and tell them.

^ Just realised that sounds wierd... erm, for a better way of putting it... be honest and tell them. You can't hide it from them forever, and they have to realise and understand your feelings. I know it's not going to be that easy, but it'l better to be honest rather than lie.

Reply 3

Sags_3

.......well i cant say that i have a posh wteva because the packet states in big letters GAY healthy life........theyre free in clubs lol

I think its both. The being gay is probs more a prob. im asian too.....prbs makes it even wrse?

Reply 4

Cloud_Strife

omg a gay asian lol, just say you went to a gay club for a laugh, lots of straight people go, say you went for the drug scene and the free condoms :p:

Reply 5

lovelee-jublee

Are your parents very strict and religious, or old-fashioned? I think being gay nowadays is more accepted than it was in their youth, but they probably don't know that and will just go by what they were used to in their youth... maybe persuade them or show them that being gay isn't such a taboo anymore, and that you're still the same person.

Reply 6

Sags_3

haha erm...no
im not the straitest actin person either they have asked me before and i denied it. i just cnt think of any excuses now.
I cant tell them tho.....its a bad time with exams coming up and stuff. Its a good thing im off to London for 5 yrs in around 5 mnths.

Reply 7

Wonderboy Blue

Just say:

I'm gay. I'm your son. If you don't love your son completely, his life and lifestyle choices included, then its your problem. Please don't judge or have issue with my personal choices and I won't judge you.

Or something. I'm not gay, but if I were that would be what I would say. I would be happy and accepting of it, the only problem would not be mine, it would be other people's. And anyone who has a problem with me can go get penetrated.

Reply 8

Vampyrcorn

If it were me I'd just turn it round on them and flip out at them: 'WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU DOING LOOKING THROUGH MY STUFF?! YOUR GOING TO FIND STUFF YOU DON'T WANT TO SEE IF YOU DO THAT! YOU'VE BETRAYED ME FAR MORE THAN I'VE HURT YOU etc'

Edit: I've just re-read your 1st post. If you can't just outright deny it then you're just going to have to try and find a way of convincing them that it doesn't have any effect on what sort of person you are and get them to accept you for who you are. It may take time but maybe it's best to get it over and done with. There probably isn't ever going to be a good time if you're parents are really strict about this type of thing. Good luck though, I'm sure you'll do fine whatever you say. :smile:

Reply 9

hiky

What was your mum doing in your socks draw. I am not sure I understand, did she empty it out to tidy it up or something

Reply 10

Sags_3

its tidy already! i dnno why she emptied it i think she was fixing it? tho i dont think theres anythin wrong with it.
I think they might know already, i dont think many guys have hair straighteners etc but arent saying anything?
I know for definate they wouldnt accept it. My dads always making fun out of gay people on tv and stuff and my mum gave me a speech on how she would die if one of her sons was gay......

Reply 11

CrispyDuck

If you really really didn't want them to know, could you just pretend that you put it there on purpose for them to find because you had a suspicion someone was sneaking through your stuff or something? Personally though, unless it's a big issue with religion and everything or they're really strict, they're going to find out one day, so if they brought it up i don't think i'd deny it. They may even react in a positive way? They do love you, you can't change the fact that you're gay, i'm sure it's going to be hard for them to deal with, but they've already confronted you about it so it can't be a huge shock. What were they like when they asked you the first time? Even though they might not be thrilled, you're their son, i'm sure they love you for who you are. Sorry, I know it's not going to be easy. Good luck whatever you decide to do :smile:

xxx

Reply 12

Vampyrcorn

Maybe they'll just ignor it and pretend to themselves they don't know? It might be handy to have a speech ready about how being gay isn't a choice you're born that way, and a few statistics to show how many people are gay so they know it's not that unusual.

Reply 13

Sags_3

the first time i just didnt even look at them and went uhuh wth my lips closed
( lol )
I reli dnno now.... i dont even know how they would react. They would probs come round eventually cuz thyre ment to love me ( or cz im gna be the rich dentist son hu gives them money lol).
Will see this eve now...wht convo comes up.

thnx for the advice so far pple.

Reply 14

zav

Tell them and you will have to deal with the concequences but atleast you will feel like the weight is off your back.
Or say you think u might be Bi so your not really sure at the moment and they will just take that as your going through a phase but u can just slowley become more inclined towards guys?