my friends don't seem to like me anymore?! Watch
Every time I go to join a circle (you know how people stand in circles when they're talking to each other) it seems to close just as I get there and I'm left standing on the outside. I talk to someone and say hi, they say hi, I ask them something and they say something back and I'm really pleased that I'm actually having a conversation and then it turns out what they said was actually intended to be for someone standing behind me! A couple of days ago I had no one to go to lunch with and then I found two girls I know and went with them, but I really, really felt like I was forcing myself on them, and they made me feel like that too - they barely said a word to me throughout the entire thing, and both of them sat on the other side of the table and talked to each other privately. I can't eat lunch alone because we don't have a cafeteria, everybody either brings lunch from home or goes out to a restaurant for lunch.
The past couple of days I've just gone and hung out in a bathroom stall with a book instead of going to lunch with anyone because I feel like no one wants me there - in fact, I don't expect people to actively want me there, that's okay, but I feel like they actively DON'T want me there! Like they've all made a decision to just phase me out. I don't know what I've done wrong to justify this - I don't even want to be the most popular person on the course, I just want people to not treat me like a complete reject and I don't even know what I've done wrong.
This has happened to me before at school, but it's usually just been because I was a new student and could never quite integrate, which I can understand. This time, everyone was new, and I genuinely am stumped, and it's upsetting me because I am quite a social person. I have friends outside of university, but they all live far away (anywhere from an hour away to a 26 hour plane ride away) and I can't spend eight hours a day with them like I do with my classmates, so this is really getting me down. Apologies for it being really long.