Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 6 years ago
#1
Heya everyone,

I've battled with anxiety issues my entire life. I'm now a 21 (almost 22) year old 3rd Year.

However, recently (and by that I mean the last couple of weeks), I've tried to get on top of why I'm anxious, what the processes are and which beliefs underpin it.

I remember worrying about football practice when I was 11 years old, I even remember being nervous about it when I was 5! I worked stupidly hard in Year 7 because I got a scholarship to private school and had a massive inferiority complex. I drove myself daft about my GCSEs. I've been convinced that I have several diseases or degenerative illnesses. The point I'm getting at is... I've been eternally convinced that something is wrong.

And I've learned what the cause of this is... I think its some form of low self-esteem. I've always had massive self-confidence but low self-esteem i.e. The belief that I could be great, the absolute best, but that I'm doing rubbish at the moment. This has caused constant self-questioning, disappointment and dissatisfaction. Sometimes I have been absolutely plagued by doubts, constant, round-the-clock worrying.

But I've realised 2 interrelated but important things:
  1. Hardly anything I've worried about has been 'real'. And nothing I've worried about has been 'worth it'.
  2. My life has actually been pretty nice. And would have been much nicer had a let myself enjoy it.

So, I therefore have come to the conclusion... my negativity is very unhelpful and my life is actually fine.

The point of this post is double-pronged:

Firstly, I wanted to try to help people who do what I do and have done. Especially people younger than myself, as I would have gained a lot from reading something like this when I was 17/18. I think many of us who suffer from mental health issues are guilty of these things, which are often cyclical and self-fuelling. By which I mean, we are overly negative about our life and behaviour, so we have low-self esteem, so we do stuff to lesser than our ability, so we think negatively, etc., etc. In truth, many of us will have problems in their lives, real problems, but a crucial element is how we react to those problems. Our minds are programmed to focus on the negative elements as a form of self-preservation; positivity is not a wholly natural process. Maybe we need to consider that the problems we drive round in our minds, that we consume ourselves with, actually aren't that huge. Therefore, we need to break the chains of negativity by positivity, which will feel forced at first, but over time will become natural and enrich our lives.

Secondly, the selfish part! This is kinda hypocritical given the previous paragraph. I'm now 22 (for arguments sake) and I've driven myself mad with anxiety, negativity and worry my entire life. These are behaviours which have held me back, affected my work, stopped me doing innumerable things, damaged relationships, withheld my social abilities, undoubtedly caused health issues, I've even created limiting coping strategies (I avoid doing seemingly innocuous things purely because I know they will make me worry or feel bad about myself), but more than anything they've affected my happiness and peace of mind.

...How do I move on from this? I feel like I've wasted my life doing all this rubbish? I feel like I'm now 22 and I've lost so much time. I now understand myself and how my mind works, as such I feel like I understand how I can be happy and fulfilled in the present and the future, but for the shackles of the past. How do I come to terms with it, accept it, and move on?
1
reply
LazyWorseThanInfidel
Badges: 14
Rep:
?
#2
Report 6 years ago
#2
my anxiety was constant 24/7 for no reason, so i was given drugs like prozac which got rid of it. It would probably come back again if I stopped the drugs again
0
reply
advent2
Badges: 8
Rep:
?
#3
Report 6 years ago
#3
(Original post by Anonymous)
...How do I move on from this? I feel like I've wasted my life doing all this rubbish? I feel like I'm now 22 and I've lost so much time. I now understand myself and how my mind works, as such I feel like I understand how I can be happy and fulfilled in the present and the future, but for the shackles of the past. How do I come to terms with it, accept it, and move on?
I wouldn't say you have wasted your life because you have learnt some valuable lessons and they are lessons which you may never have learned had you not gone through X, Y and Z. You're only 22, you may feel old but given life expectancy is increasing all the time, you may live to be 100 years of age in which case you haven't even lived 25% of your life yet.

Bruce Lee died at 32 years of age yet he lived an incredible life and achieved so much with it. Don't worry about the lost time, there's nothing you can do about that, all you can do is make the most of the time you have left.

Get some bolt cutters and break the shackles of the past. The only time we have is in the present-the here and now. Gandhi said the future depends upon what we do in the present moment. You can't change the past and the future doesn't exist yet so make the most of NOW.
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#4
Report Thread starter 6 years ago
#4
(Original post by advent2)
Get some bolt cutters and break the shackles of the past. The only time we have is in the present-the here and now. Gandhi said the future depends upon what we do in the present moment. You can't change the past and the future doesn't exist yet so make the most of NOW.
You're totally right. I think that's what I need to do. Easier said than done but I'm working on it
0
reply
X

Quick Reply

Attached files
Write a reply...
Reply
new posts
Back
to top
Latest
My Feed

See more of what you like on
The Student Room

You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

Personalise

Why wouldn't you turn to teachers if you were being bullied?

They might tell my parents (11)
6.04%
They might tell the bully (18)
9.89%
I don't think they'd understand (32)
17.58%
It might lead to more bullying (69)
37.91%
There's nothing they could do (52)
28.57%

Watched Threads

View All