Would you tell? Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 6 years ago
#1
I started casually seeing this guy about two years ago now. It wasn't serious, you couldn't call it a relationship but we went for meals, drinks, nights in hotels etc. We even had a short holiday together. I was interested in more but he wasn't so we backed off a bit. Some stuff came up though and I was pretty sure that he was in a serious relationship but he completely denied it. I was pretty in lust at the time so was stupid enough to take his word for it, though I still had doubts. I did one day see him sending a text message to a woman. I questioned him about it and he said it was a stupid text to his ex who he's struggled to get over but that he wasn't with anyone. I didn't really believe him and things finished after that. Now, I know it's two years later, but I came across something online that proves that he is in a relationship, with someone who has, unsurprisingly, got the same name as the woman that he text. It's a pretty unusual name so it's not likely to be a different one. So, the question is, if you had the opportunity to tell someone that their long term partner had been cheating on them (over a period of at least 9 months) would you? I'm not sure whether it would be me doing it for her good or to get back at him though.

For those that can't be bothered..
TLDR: Had a 9+ casual relationship with someone who I've now found out was and still is in a relationship at the time. Would you tell their partner that they'd been cheated on?
0
reply
Hal.E.Lujah
  • Study Helper
Badges: 19
Rep:
?
#2
Report 6 years ago
#2
Personally, I wouldn't. It would have massive repercussions, that you won't be able to predict, apart from that they would all be negative.

You should talk to him about it, and directly confront him on it. He has to be the one to admit it, coming from you will make everything a million times worse for everyone, especially the one in the relationship with him.
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#3
Report Thread starter 6 years ago
#3
We don't talk anymore so if I confronted him it would be something completely out of the blue. I think if it was me, I'd want to know. She's been with this guy at least 2-3 years and he spent 9 months of that sleeping around and spending evenings, even a holiday, with another woman. I can see what you mean though, just not sure.
0
reply
WildBerrySpirit
Badges: 14
Rep:
?
#4
Report 6 years ago
#4
Speak to him first. If he refuses to tell his partner the truth, then do it yourself.
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#5
Report Thread starter 6 years ago
#5
What if you know that he's still looking around for 'fun' outside of that relationship? I've come to realise that he's incapable of telling me the truth about anything and that he's very good at lying. If I told him that he'd bs about not being in a relationship still. If he finally admitted it, he'd probably lie and said he told her but not.
0
reply
Journeyzap
Badges: 11
Rep:
?
#6
Report 6 years ago
#6
If I were the other woman, I would want to know.
Although things could get hairy.

Do you know you will be safe if you do tell her? (ie, he isn't psycho and isn't going to track you down for it)

I don't think you have any obligation to do it, but at the same time, it isn't as if you shouldn't do it, so I would leave it down to personal choice.
0
reply
Goody2Shoes-x
Badges: 14
Rep:
?
#7
Report 6 years ago
#7
A similar situation has happened to me in the past, not as extreme as yours, and yes, I told. I was ignored, but it made me feel better anyway.
0
reply
Tiger Rag
Badges: 22
Rep:
?
#8
Report 6 years ago
#8
He may just say you're doing it to ****-stir.

Either way, you need to talk to him and it's better if it comes from him and not you.
0
reply
Blair Waldorf
Badges: 0
Rep:
?
#9
Report 6 years ago
#9
He screwed you over so why shouldn't you return the favour?

No one can blame you for seeking retribution and comfort so you can move on.


Edit: Of course his partner could already know about you in which case your whole plan will fail so speak to him first.


XOXO
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#10
Report Thread starter 6 years ago
#10
Nothing he can do to get back at me really. He's not psycho, at least not that I know of! I've moved since I last saw him, he has no idea where. Just feel a bit bad knowing that there's probably this poor woman thinking she has a loving, happy, cheat free relationship when she's actually with a bit of a scum bag who will happily cheat on her and string other people along. I'd probably tell her anonymously, send her a link to a profile he has on a website where he's put that he's just looking for casual fun.
0
reply
X

Quick Reply

Attached files
Write a reply...
Reply
new posts
Back
to top
Latest
My Feed

See more of what you like on
The Student Room

You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

Personalise

How has the start of this academic year been for you?

Loving it - gonna be a great year (138)
17.72%
It's just nice to be back! (210)
26.96%
Not great so far... (280)
35.94%
I want to drop out! (151)
19.38%

Watched Threads

View All