Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 6 years ago
#1
I've gone through this so many times before actually submitting the thread, my lord. Sorry if any of this is mumbo jumbo, I don't know how to word it.

For starters, I turned 16 around 4 months ago and I'm a girl. I've struggled with my feelings since I was about 13 and I don't know what to do anymore. I can't work out whether to laugh or cry and it confuses me. Things were difficult at about 13 or 14 when I grew tired of being unable to show my feelings. But, when I opened up to my best friend she ridiculed me and said it was selfish and refused to help me with the matter and treated it without any seriousness and I felt a fool(I'll get back to her later).

I saw a doctor once (I went for something else but my mum brought the suspected depression up) but my mum was in the room so I didn't say much, she spoke for me. The doctor didn't do anything and I just felt more pathetic which all built up on top of one another. I suppose I didn't say much to the doctor but he didn't even seem bothered, he was like "ok" and told me to come soon but I never got an appointment because my mum didn't book one - I get too shy to book one for myself. After the failed doctors visit things got worse. This was the last time I saw a doctor for it.

However, it did all seemed a lot better about 6 months ago because I had no stress in my life at that specific time - I had a close friend who was talking to me and I didn't have school worries. Because I felt better, I just assumed it was just some 'phase' that I supposedly overcome.

Wrong. I feel a lot worse now and I'm just a state. I have nobody to talk to and it's made me a wreck, I can't focus in my all-important lessons and I think I am such a horrible person, when I am told that I'm a genuinely nice and caring girl. I keep rocketing from bad (sad, crying) to good (happy, on top of the world) that my head is all cloudy and I can't work out what is wrong with me. Also, slightly irrelevant, I do have IBS which does cause a load of stress which builds up.

This 'so called' best friend (if it makes a difference, she's 3 years older than me) makes me feel so bad about myself and when I desperately needed her she decided to blank me completely for 7 days (and counting, unfortunately). I have nobody else to talk to, which is why I came here because I've had enough of dealing with it without a clue what's wrong with me, or maybe if it is just normal teen life. I always thought, from a preteen age, that something was up mentally and something wasn't working right but I couldn't figure out what it was. I just feel like I'm too young to go through all this and like I said, I don't know what to do. I suppose I vented a lot, sorry if this drags.

I also struggle a lot socially. I don't like going out and I'd rather sit on my bed on my laptop or playing video games. Whenever I go out I just assume everyone is looking at me and judging me. My health is pretty bad because I don't eat properly nor do I exercise or socialize. Whenever parties come up I get really anxious and I only feel comfortable around people who I know. The only places I feel comfortable are at my house, family houses or at school.

I feel like a mental wreck and I just need some guidance. Thank you.
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Amanbabbar./
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#2
Report 6 years ago
#2
(Original post by Anonymous)
I've gone through this so many times before actually submitting the thread, my lord. Sorry if any of this is mumbo jumbo, I don't know how to word it.

For starters, I turned 16 around 4 months ago and I'm a girl. I've struggled with my feelings since I was about 13 and I don't know what to do anymore. I can't work out whether to laugh or cry and it confuses me. Things were difficult at about 13 or 14 when I grew tired of being unable to show my feelings. But, when I opened up to my best friend she ridiculed me and said it was selfish and refused to help me with the matter and treated it without any seriousness and I felt a fool(I'll get back to her later).

I saw a doctor once (I went for something else but my mum brought the suspected depression up) but my mum was in the room so I didn't say much, she spoke for me. The doctor didn't do anything and I just felt more pathetic which all built up on top of one another. I suppose I didn't say much to the doctor but he didn't even seem bothered, he was like "ok" and told me to come soon but I never got an appointment because my mum didn't book one - I get too shy to book one for myself. After the failed doctors visit things got worse. This was the last time I saw a doctor for it.

However, it did all seemed a lot better about 6 months ago because I had no stress in my life at that specific time - I had a close friend who was talking to me and I didn't have school worries. Because I felt better, I just assumed it was just some 'phase' that I supposedly overcome.

Wrong. I feel a lot worse now and I'm just a state. I have nobody to talk to and it's made me a wreck, I can't focus in my all-important lessons and I think I am such a horrible person, when I am told that I'm a genuinely nice and caring girl. I keep rocketing from bad (sad, crying) to good (happy, on top of the world) that my head is all cloudy and I can't work out what is wrong with me. Also, slightly irrelevant, I do have IBS which does cause a load of stress which builds up.

This 'so called' best friend (if it makes a difference, she's 3 years older than me) makes me feel so bad about myself and when I desperately needed her she decided to blank me completely for 7 days (and counting, unfortunately). I have nobody else to talk to, which is why I came here because I've had enough of dealing with it without a clue what's wrong with me, or maybe if it is just normal teen life. I always thought, from a preteen age, that something was up mentally and something wasn't working right but I couldn't figure out what it was. I just feel like I'm too young to go through all this and like I said, I don't know what to do. I suppose I vented a lot, sorry if this drags.

I also struggle a lot socially. I don't like going out and I'd rather sit on my bed on my laptop or playing video games. Whenever I go out I just assume everyone is looking at me and judging me. My health is pretty bad because I don't eat properly nor do I exercise or socialize. Whenever parties come up I get really anxious and I only feel comfortable around people who I know. The only places I feel comfortable are at my house, family houses or at school.

I feel like a mental wreck and I just need some guidance. Thank you.
Well i have no idea what to say that except....

Your 'best friend' is not even a friend. Pfft..
Erm ima just say no-one has the right to judge you.
+ about your unstable emotions, go to a Councillor for guidance, it'll be hard opening up at first cus you mentioned you're quite a timid person? But after a while it'll come naturally and it'll benefit you.

I hope everything gets better for you. Goodluck<3
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acecoffee
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#3
Report 6 years ago
#3
If your best friend is behaving this way , maybe it is best to just keep away from her for now.

I would suggest seeing your GP asap ,without your mother if you dont feel comfotable with it , and they wouldnt tell your parent.

check if your school provide any counselling service and they might helps you a bit just by listening. when your feeling /mental states effect your education or academic it is also good to talk to your tutor about it. they can arrange something ( when i was in sixth form, i was struggling hugely because of my mental health but one of the teacher give me a 1:1 catch up session at lunch time to help me with my work and stuff )

Joining Some youth centre might also help you to find some new friends who are nice and pleasant.

Best of luck .
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fayemx
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#4
Report 6 years ago
#4
(Original post by Anonymous)
I've gone through this so many times before actually submitting the thread, my lord. Sorry if any of this is mumbo jumbo, I don't know how to word it.

For starters, I turned 16 around 4 months ago and I'm a girl. I've struggled with my feelings since I was about 13 and I don't know what to do anymore. I can't work out whether to laugh or cry and it confuses me. Things were difficult at about 13 or 14 when I grew tired of being unable to show my feelings. But, when I opened up to my best friend she ridiculed me and said it was selfish and refused to help me with the matter and treated it without any seriousness and I felt a fool(I'll get back to her later).

I saw a doctor once (I went for something else but my mum brought the suspected depression up) but my mum was in the room so I didn't say much, she spoke for me. The doctor didn't do anything and I just felt more pathetic which all built up on top of one another. I suppose I didn't say much to the doctor but he didn't even seem bothered, he was like "ok" and told me to come soon but I never got an appointment because my mum didn't book one - I get too shy to book one for myself. After the failed doctors visit things got worse. This was the last time I saw a doctor for it.

However, it did all seemed a lot better about 6 months ago because I had no stress in my life at that specific time - I had a close friend who was talking to me and I didn't have school worries. Because I felt better, I just assumed it was just some 'phase' that I supposedly overcome.

Wrong. I feel a lot worse now and I'm just a state. I have nobody to talk to and it's made me a wreck, I can't focus in my all-important lessons and I think I am such a horrible person, when I am told that I'm a genuinely nice and caring girl. I keep rocketing from bad (sad, crying) to good (happy, on top of the world) that my head is all cloudy and I can't work out what is wrong with me. Also, slightly irrelevant, I do have IBS which does cause a load of stress which builds up.

This 'so called' best friend (if it makes a difference, she's 3 years older than me) makes me feel so bad about myself and when I desperately needed her she decided to blank me completely for 7 days (and counting, unfortunately). I have nobody else to talk to, which is why I came here because I've had enough of dealing with it without a clue what's wrong with me, or maybe if it is just normal teen life. I always thought, from a preteen age, that something was up mentally and something wasn't working right but I couldn't figure out what it was. I just feel like I'm too young to go through all this and like I said, I don't know what to do. I suppose I vented a lot, sorry if this drags.

I also struggle a lot socially. I don't like going out and I'd rather sit on my bed on my laptop or playing video games. Whenever I go out I just assume everyone is looking at me and judging me. My health is pretty bad because I don't eat properly nor do I exercise or socialize. Whenever parties come up I get really anxious and I only feel comfortable around people who I know. The only places I feel comfortable are at my house, family houses or at school.

I feel like a mental wreck and I just need some guidance. Thank you.
Heyy!
To start with you aren't pathetic or selfish! And don't let anybody make you think that; she is awful for making the situation about her when you need help! I understand that as a teenager you can't tell if its normal teenager hormones or something a bit more sinister. Remember, most importantly, you aren't alone, as much as you feel you are! Your mum obviously noticed before and is keeping her eye out I'm sure. I really would find the courage to go to the doctors and speak to someone. Even if its just for reassurance, they can help! I've felt like you feel now and I understand. I was so unstable around June last year that I seriously scared myself and almost did something very very stupid. I sorted it by confronting the problems I knew I had and talking to people who could help.
I would really recommend talking to a doctor (or even a teacher at school) to get reassurance and help. If you ever need anyone to listen, inbox me!


Posted from TSR Mobile
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Anonymous #1
#5
Report Thread starter 6 years ago
#5
(Original post by Amanbabbar./)
Well i have no idea what to say that except....

Your 'best friend' is not even a friend. Pfft..
Erm ima just say no-one has the right to judge you.
+ about your unstable emotions, go to a Councillor for guidance, it'll be hard opening up at first cus you mentioned you're quite a timid person? But after a while it'll come naturally and it'll benefit you.

I hope everything gets better for you. Goodluck<3
Thank you so much! I wouldn't see a counselor in my life time but I might speak to my mum and see if she can sort one out for me.
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peaaceandl0ve
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#6
Report 6 years ago
#6
*Hugs*
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Anonymous #1
#7
Report Thread starter 6 years ago
#7
(Original post by fayemx)
Heyy!
To start with you aren't pathetic or selfish! And don't let anybody make you think that; she is awful for making the situation about her when you need help! I understand that as a teenager you can't tell if its normal teenager hormones or something a bit more sinister. Remember, most importantly, you aren't alone, as much as you feel you are! Your mum obviously noticed before and is keeping her eye out I'm sure. I really would find the courage to go to the doctors and speak to someone. Even if its just for reassurance, they can help! I've felt like you feel now and I understand. I was so unstable around June last year that I seriously scared myself and almost did something very very stupid. I sorted it by confronting the problems I knew I had and talking to people who could help.
I would really recommend talking to a doctor (or even a teacher at school) to get reassurance and help. If you ever need anyone to listen, inbox me!


Posted from TSR Mobile
Thank you she's stopped speaking me now for some unknown reason. But anyway, yeah my mum usually peaks in my room if I've been silent for a few hours to see if I'm okay! I'm going to sort this out.

@peaaceandl0ve thank you
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Amanbabbar./
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#8
Report 6 years ago
#8
(Original post by Anonymous)
Thank you so much! I wouldn't see a counselor in my life time but I might speak to my mum and see if she can sort one out for me.
i hope all is well :')
goodluck
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