muslim girl falls for a chinese azn guy Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 6 years ago
#1
So im the muslim girl Iv fallen for my freind, his chinese asian (his christian by name but doesnt follow or believ in it). Im south east asian muslim girl.

Background: We both study the same course at uni. We like each other but have never said it out loud. He keeps on asking when will i get a boyfreind. I reply saying i cant, im not allowed to date.

Where do I begin? I started to like him last year, but only as a freind. This year, we've grown closer. I didnt notice he liked me until my girl freind told me. IM SOO STUPID i dont know what the signs are!
Looking back now iv realised the little signs he showed me to indicate his love:

He used tease me alot, especially regarding my shortness and petiteness.
He started to tickle me because he knew i hated being tickled and woukd literally look like im having a fit...so awkward....lol
I made him some chinese food and he was on cloud 9! I shared the chinese food with another azn guy. That moment onwards he blanked me, found another azn girl and became quite talkative with her. I guess he was hurt because i shared the chinese food that i made for him with another guy. I ignored him too! But we later made up by having bubble tea together.
Another occassion, i wore a beautiful dress (he says things like you look shexxy in the dress! Soo not appropriate to say to a muslim girl awkward). Purposely i ignored him because i felt annoyed by his behaviour towards another azn girl. Later at lunch time i ate with my freinds, he was there too. I dont know if i should write this. But he began to stroke my hand. Omg! I didnt flinch, i smiled and decided that i shouldnt ignore him any longer.

We went to the shopping mall together. I was soo scared! Omg! I put my headphones on and listened to some kpop. It didnt help! We were both nervous! But soon relaxed...We were helping eachother...with what to buy...he picked out a dress for me and i chose a shirt for him. After we finished we stood outside the shop...and were lost in each others eyes...at that moment we didnt even speak.our minds spoke to each other.

The next day it was uni. My girl freind asked me did anything happen at the shopping mall?. I said no. She told me, my chinese freind became really shy! And didnt want to talk about the shopping mall.


If you read this far...wooo hoo...soo ermm my problem is we like each other, are too scared to admit our feelings. What should i do? Does he really like? Is he scared because im a muslim girl?

I forgot to mention...at uni...we'll pretend we dont have any feelings for eachother. But when we're semi alone...he would be closer and touchy.. I dont understand why he does that? Also...the azn girl i mentioned, i feel like he likes her too?...his trying to make me jealous? And theres another girl! My girlfriend, who told me he likes me...very extremely close with her. They tell each other everything..his even comfortable resting his head on her! Maybe their more like best freinds? The chinese guy who likes me. ..is he a womaniser? Im soo confused! He tells me he misses me, tells me to hold his hand-( i said i cant)... His body language says i love you! But then we drive eachother insane! I dont understand whats happening?

Is he a womaniser? Im in a love triangle? What is going on his mind?!!

P.s he never messages me cos i never reply...like ever. When i do reply he would not reply back!!! why!!!
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Golden_Boy786
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I'm on my phone right so won't be able to go into too much detail.

Firstly you do realise being a Muslim girl, it's inappropriate to even touch a man who you have no relation with. Secondly, he's not a Muslim so forming a relationship with him would be out of the questions. What would your parents think and all the rest.

And I don't understand why you even talk to him if he's chatting up another girl(possibly to make you jellous) or he meets other girls as well behind your back and is like you say a womaniser. If I were you get rid of all contacts with him. This will only benefit you. I just hope God shows you the path, only if you choose it.

You might not like my advice but it's for your best and for your conseable future. These trivial relationship won't take you anywhere but regret if your a Muslim. Unless you have no faith in your religion.

PM me if you need advice on other questions.
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TanStallion
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Don't listen to any one. Just do what ur heart tells you. good luck

what south east race are you ?
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TruetoMyself
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What can I say to you love? If I said what the main problem is here (you know yourself really, deep down)...I'd be called racist (note im also of south asian descent, albeit a different religion). My interpretation from what you have said is that your his first choice for starting a relationship. But his eyes may be drifting...you can't expect him to hang around forever.
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LittleShootingStar*
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Lol, this made me cringe a little.. especially when you admitted about the 'hand stroking' If you were one of my friends, I would say stay away and avoid temptation, but then I don't know you or how religious or believing you are. But it's inappropriate for you to let him touch you. If it's true love or whatever, then wouldn't he only have eyes for you? Plus he seems a little touchy feely with other girls too. Maybe you're just a novelty for him? If you don't see it going anywhere in the future, then don't waste your time.
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Ammish
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(Original post by Golden_Boy786)
The OP is a Muslim the best I can do is show her the right path which would not cause her any trouble from her parents and she won't regret it in the future.
Or like any parent, they should allow her to make her own choices and beliefs. That is what any religious people should do. Advise, but not force, but to let them know that their door is always open. The fact that parents, and a lot, would abandon, advocate verbal and physical abuse, is part of the reason why Islam has such a bad image. A lot of religious people, maybe such as yourself, fail to see that and proceed to call us out as ignorant for not looking at the bigger picture. The middle-eastern culture is poisoning Islam.

For someone like you a non-Muslim to come and call me a "bigot" or "racist" is totally delusive and irrational. In neither am I a racist or a bigot. Because it doesn't matter if he's Chinese or Black i would have given the same opinion. However, if he is a converted Muslim then it would be a different matter. Rather than making ridiculous comments on a matter you clearly have no knowledge about or any understanding. for you to come out and make baseless remarks is totally out of proportion.
I'm not going to be one of those idiots and call you ignorant. Those who did should have no place in this conversation and leave you. But I still find it baffling that a Muslim man can marry a Christian, Muslim or Jewish woman, but a Muslim woman can only marry a Muslim man. If the woman wants to practice her religion and still be in a relationship with a non-Muslim, then why not let her? In British society, a woman is equal to a man in the eyes of the law and are encouraged to be independent. In that way, the law that the Qu'ran state is clearly incompatible with the society and the rights that women can have today.

I am of the belief that like any religious book, it should not be practised to the full. In fact, I believe the Qu'ran, like any other book, is a barrier between you and God's love because it limits the expression and critical thinking.
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madman13
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Please stay away from him especially if you are muslim And of south asian descent, i do not want to see another honour killing on the news.


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Golden_Boy786
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(Original post by madman13)
Please stay away from him especially if you are muslim And of south asian descent, i do not want to see another honour killing on the news.


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Talk about irrationalism. This is got to be the most stereotypical comment to ever have been made. Ok, so you see on the news parents kill daughter and call it 'honour killing". I take it you see this quite often on news. Possibly every few weeks?

Just because one out of a million parents committed muder of their daughter doesn't mean all parents are the same from a Muslim household.
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Indo-Chinese Food
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(Original post by Golden_Boy786)
The OP is a Muslim the best I can do is show her the right path which would not cause her any trouble from her parents and she won't regret it in the future. For someone like you a non-Muslim to come and call me a "bigot" or "racist" is totally delusive and irrational. In neither am I a racist or a bigot. Because it doesn't matter if he's Chinese or Black i would have given the same opinion. However, if he is a converted Muslim then it would be a different matter. Rather than making ridiculous comments on a matter you clearly have no knowledge about or any understanding. for you to come out and make baseless remarks is totally out of proportion.
same principle- you are simply replaceing the brainless statement " dont go out with him, hes not white" with "dont go out with him hes not a muslim"

both be covered under the Racial and Religious Hatred Act 2006 in terms of workplace, cirminal offence etc
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Golden_Boy786
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(Original post by Indo-Chinese Food)
same principle- you are simply replaceing the brainless statement " dont go out with him, hes not white" with "dont go out with him hes not a muslim"

both be covered under the Racial and Religious Hatred Act 2006 in terms of workplace, cirminal offence etc
Did I mention don't go out if he's "white" no I didn't!

So why are you making up trash? I specifically mentioned, if he had converted it would be ok. Not because he's Chinese or white, so next time you comment get your facts right!! This isn't me making up my own belief but one which has been passed on from generations other religions also follow the same principles. just the way Hindus will not accept people from different cultures and castes as it clashes with there culture and upbringing.

This thread is two weeks old, I think you should move on.
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Golden_Boy786
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Thank you everyone for contributing to this thread with mostly irrelevant comments. With no effective advice whatsoever. I will no longer be following this tedious and this ridiculously pointless thread which it has become.

Thank you for your time.

Peace out!
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Indo-Chinese Food
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(Original post by Golden_Boy786)
Did I mention don't go out if he's "white" no I didn't!

So why are you making up trash? I specifically mentioned, if he had converted it would be ok. Not because he's Chinese or white, so next time you comment get your facts right!! This isn't me making up my own belief but one which has been passed on from generations other religions also follow the same principles. just the way Hindus will not accept people from different cultures and castes as it clashes with there culture and upbringing.

This thread is two weeks old, I think you should move on.


no , you said "dont go out with him becuase hes not a muslim" which is bad as any other racism against blacks, asians etc.

Just because a bigotted behaviour has history doesnt mean it is acceptable today
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Desperate Prayer
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(Original post by Golden_Boy786)
I'm on my phone right so won't be able to go into too much detail.

Firstly you do realise being a Muslim girl, it's inappropriate to even touch a man who you have no relation with. Secondly, he's not a Muslim so forming a relationship with him would be out of the questions. What would your parents think and all the rest.

And I don't understand why you even talk to him if he's chatting up another girl(possibly to make you jellous) or he meets other girls as well behind your back and is like you say a womaniser. If I were you get rid of all contacts with him. This will only benefit you. I just hope God shows you the path, only if you choose it.

You might not like my advice but it's for your best and for your conseable future. These trivial relationship won't take you anywhere but regret if your a Muslim. Unless you have no faith in your religion.

PM me if you need advice on other questions.
Its interesting how, when left to my own devices, my mind tends to default to a rather benign view of religion.

Then out of nowhere, I'm faced with something like this, and I start to dislike it again.
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LittleShootingStar*
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(Original post by madman13)
Please stay away from him especially if you are muslim And of south asian descent, i do not want to see another honour killing on the news.


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I'm pretty sure they are not all that common, the media sensationalises topics like this.
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student room sk
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(Original post by Anonymous)
So im the muslim girl Iv fallen for my freind, his chinese asian (his christian by name but doesnt follow or believ in it). Im south east asian muslim girl.

Background: We both study the same course at uni. We like each other but have never said it out loud. He keeps on asking when will i get a boyfreind. I reply saying i cant, im not allowed to date.

Where do I begin? I started to like him last year, but only as a freind. This year, we've grown closer. I didnt notice he liked me until my girl freind told me. IM SOO STUPID i dont know what the signs are!
Looking back now iv realised the little signs he showed me to indicate his love:

He used tease me alot, especially regarding my shortness and petiteness.
He started to tickle me because he knew i hated being tickled and woukd literally look like im having a fit...so awkward....lol
I made him some chinese food and he was on cloud 9! I shared the chinese food with another azn guy. That moment onwards he blanked me, found another azn girl and became quite talkative with her. I guess he was hurt because i shared the chinese food that i made for him with another guy. I ignored him too! But we later made up by having bubble tea together.
Another occassion, i wore a beautiful dress (he says things like you look shexxy in the dress! Soo not appropriate to say to a muslim girl awkward). Purposely i ignored him because i felt annoyed by his behaviour towards another azn girl. Later at lunch time i ate with my freinds, he was there too. I dont know if i should write this. But he began to stroke my hand. Omg! I didnt flinch, i smiled and decided that i shouldnt ignore him any longer.

We went to the shopping mall together. I was soo scared! Omg! I put my headphones on and listened to some kpop. It didnt help! We were both nervous! But soon relaxed...We were helping eachother...with what to buy...he picked out a dress for me and i chose a shirt for him. After we finished we stood outside the shop...and were lost in each others eyes...at that moment we didnt even speak.our minds spoke to each other.

The next day it was uni. My girl freind asked me did anything happen at the shopping mall?. I said no. She told me, my chinese freind became really shy! And didnt want to talk about the shopping mall.


If you read this far...wooo hoo...soo ermm my problem is we like each other, are too scared to admit our feelings. What should i do? Does he really like? Is he scared because im a muslim girl?

I forgot to mention...at uni...we'll pretend we dont have any feelings for eachother. But when we're semi alone...he would be closer and touchy.. I dont understand why he does that? Also...the azn girl i mentioned, i feel like he likes her too?...his trying to make me jealous? And theres another girl! My girlfriend, who told me he likes me...very extremely close with her. They tell each other everything..his even comfortable resting his head on her! Maybe their more like best freinds? The chinese guy who likes me. ..is he a womaniser? Im soo confused! He tells me he misses me, tells me to hold his hand-( i said i cant)... His body language says i love you! But then we drive eachother insane! I dont understand whats happening?

Is he a womaniser? Im in a love triangle? What is going on his mind?!!

P.s he never messages me cos i never reply...like ever. When i do reply he would not reply back!!! why!!!
first thing is your spelling of friend..
just watch it for the next time
next: I don't think he really likes you so I would advise you to act like friends and nothing more...
you don't know what he wants and he doesn't have any idea about what you want,
you are both terribly confused.
Just keep to being friends, guys tease and stuff but i don't think it has to mean he likes you.
Just keep distance
x
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study beats
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I don't know what to say about this but u have been blinded by love....

I suggest u never talk to him again....

Also how religious are you? Do u wear a hijab? If yes, then I would advice u to stay away from him as he has no shame and does not care about ur modesty

Also Chinese and south Asian doesn't go wel
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student room sk
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(Original post by Golden_Boy786)
Thank you everyone for contributing to this thread with mostly irrelevant comments. With no effective advice whatsoever. I will no longer be following this tedious and this ridiculously pointless thread which it has become.

Thank you for your time.

Peace out!
LOL.... x
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Rosaknows
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Do whatever feels right; if it doesn't work out, it's not the end of the world.
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Anonymous #1
#19
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#19
Thank you everyone. My current outcome, im keeping my distance. It is true i have been blinded and now I can fully see.

The 'guy' gave up on liking me due to my religious beliefs. So he decided to move on and be with my best freind. At first i was like omg! Damn! Wtfreak! O.O The guy was 'preying' on me! I was strong and impossible to get due to my beliefs. So he moved on to a weaker target. Currently im distancing myself from them. Im walking solo right now.

Lessons learnt:
Men are predators! Stay away from them!
This life is very short to be wasting on a fantasy/delusion
My ultimate purpose of life is to worship and please God.
Every soul shall taste death.
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celinec366
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Dear, I am your reverse, as in Chinese Christian girl dating Pakistani Muslim guy. I don't want to go into religion because I have seen the best and worst of both worlds.

So all I want to address is the Chinese part. Chinese are typically more reserved. Perhaps if he doesn't see you two as exclusive, then all he sees is a crush and you have to talk about that. Observe how it is with the Chinese girl, I have several Chinese guy friends who are close but bf knows and he sees how I distinguish boundaries.

Also, race and religion do make things tough. For one, Asian Desi relations are pretty much uncharted territory so you have to be prepared to be possibly the first one who date outside the race and defend it. I dunno about you, but is there the mentality that good desi girl brings desi boys home? Will you be able to stand up against that w/ Chinese guy?

I think you really have to take things slow and probe and see how it is. Prepare for A LOT of hard work. I hope everything works out.
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