Should I tell my boyfriend or not? Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 6 years ago
#1
We had been together for ages but I was getting quite depressed because he was treating me very badly. I didn't want to break up with him because he was going through some very difficult personal issues. In the meantime for a year or so I was getting very close to another guy, we would text a lot, flirt and joke around but my boyfriend knew about this and it never felt like cheating (even though in hindsight it obviously was) because I was very open about it and just saw him as a good friend. He ended up staying the night one night when I was feeling particularly low after my boyfriend had mistreated me and nothing happened but my partner found out, went mad and dumped me. After he dumped me I felt a sense of relief as I did not love him or want to be with him. I continued things with the other guy and we ended up sleeping together. We never dated but we continued to see each other for months. Now my ex is back in my life, he appears to have sorted himself out and he says the break did him good. I feel the same and I am ready to give him another chance. However, he says he is really happy that I never met anyone during our break (this is what I told him) and that it is as if we never broke up. If I tell him that in actual fact I slept with the same guy that led us to break up in the first place he will plunder into depression again and probably try and hurt me. What do I do? Do I owe him the truth?
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Katiehodge
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#2
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#2
Yes- better now than finding out later when it could be even more damaging. Just be there for him. Good luck
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British-Student
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#3
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#3
"Don't love him", "Relieved we broke up", "Probably try and hurt me".

Why even ask? Leave Mr. Psycho-girlfriend-mistreater and go on your merry way.
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Amanbabbar./
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#4
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#4
Seems like a prick to me.
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Makebelieve15
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#5
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#5
Probably best to tell him before you start afresh and if he doesn't want you after, then let it be. Personally I see no problem with you seeing someone else if you weren't exclusive at the time. You were just moving on.
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Mockery
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#6
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#6
Say goodbye to old rubbish, move on and find a better relationship.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Mockery)
Say goodbye to old rubbish, move on and find a better relationship.
thanks
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Care-Free
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#8
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Doesnt sound like the best guy you could have, why would it matter if you met anyone else during the break, you weren't together, it sounds like an " i dont want you but no one else can have you either" attitude which is never good, move on and find someone else.

you should never be with someone who will intentionally try to hurt you, emotionally or physically, if you love someone you dont want to hurt them, at all, especially not out of spite or revenge.
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misst911
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#9
You should be honest but be gentle about it.
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Aries1992
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#10
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#10
I wouldn't say anything. Use weren't together so it's none of his business.


This was posted from The Student Room's iPhone/iPad App
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username380364
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(Original post by Aries1992)
I wouldn't say anything. Use weren't together so it's none of his business.


This was posted from The Student Room's iPhone/iPad App
THIS
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free_the_mind
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#12
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(Original post by Anonymous)
We had been together for ages but I was getting quite depressed because he was treating me very badly. I didn't want to break up with him because he was going through some very difficult personal issues. In the meantime for a year or so I was getting very close to another guy, we would text a lot, flirt and joke around but my boyfriend knew about this and it never felt like cheating (even though in hindsight it obviously was) because I was very open about it and just saw him as a good friend. He ended up staying the night one night when I was feeling particularly low after my boyfriend had mistreated me and nothing happened but my partner found out, went mad and dumped me. After he dumped me I felt a sense of relief as I did not love him or want to be with him. I continued things with the other guy and we ended up sleeping together. We never dated but we continued to see each other for months. Now my ex is back in my life, he appears to have sorted himself out and he says the break did him good. I feel the same and I am ready to give him another chance. However, he says he is really happy that I never met anyone during our break (this is what I told him) and that it is as if we never broke up. If I tell him that in actual fact I slept with the same guy that led us to break up in the first place he will plunder into depression again and probably try and hurt me. What do I do? Do I owe him the truth?
Sounds like you were in a very unhealthy relationship with your ex which was quite toxic to you. I think that perhaps it is this time apart which has made you "miss" him and may be the reason why you want to get back together with him. I think for the very fact that you are still afraid of what the truth may do to him and his reaction suggests that he may not have truly "changed" a lot.

If you do really think that getting back together with him is what you want then I think honesty would be important. You could keep it a secret but that's up to you, if you feel comfortable doing so. A fresh start should mean that, he should be able to accept what's happened when you weren't together if he really does want to be with you.
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APhilToRemember
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#13
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If your wanting to get back with him, tell the trugh its the best option
But if your worried about him going depressive and possibly hurt you, leave him and move on, he should know better than to hurt a girl

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Blutooth
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#14
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#14
No, I don't think you owe him the truth. However, if you want to build a lasting relationship, then there must be trust and honesty. And that wouuld probably be the right thing to do. However, if you don't, then **** him.
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