Boyfriend vs Friend issues

Hi everyone,

So basically I am stuck as I have been landed with such a HUGE PROBLEM recently.
Basically one of the girls in my group of friends has this obsession for this one guy and has been like this for at least 2 years. She has always wanted to go out with him but he has never been interested in her that way.
In the last 2 weeks I have found out from other people that the guy that she loves might actually like me instead. He keeps on texting me and has been coming up to talk to me which has been really nice of him.
I think I really like him back but this girl would KILL ME if she knew that I liked him and we were to start going out.
What should I do ?? I really like him but I know that if we went out it would cause an awkwardness in the group. The girl who likes him isn't really nice to me and is really spoilt so she would die if she doesn't get her own way.
Should I just start to avoid him or should I go for it and ignore the girl ??

HELP !! :confused:

Reply 1

InnerTemple

Original post by evalilyXOX

Give things a go with the guy. You shouldn't be constrained by the emotions of the other girl. If she does get angry, hopefully the rest of the group will see that she is the one being unreasonable and rally to your cause. If they don't, then they are clearly not the good friends you thought them to be.

Have fun!

Reply 2

HenryD

Original post by evalilyXOX

Unless the person is a really close friend then the fact that they like this guy shouldn't stop you from pursuing him, you don't owe her anything. Go for it.

Reply 3

Zarek

All's fair in love 'an war..

Reply 4

EllieJelly96

On the one hand, sisters before misters but on the other, if the girl is a bit of a cow and obviously has no chance with him, go for it. If she can't see that it will never happen for them two and chooses to get angry at you instead, she's not really worth your time. I mean its not like its a couple of months, 2 years is bordering on crazy.

Reply 5

Mourinho<3

I think if she has little chance with him, and she was a good friend, she would accept that you do and want you to be happy.

I mean if I can't have him so no-one can is a bit childish really IMO. If he isn't interested in her why should you lose out? Not your fault.

Reply 6

InnerTemple

Also, if she isn't a total psycho, him getting with someone (i.e. you) may force her to move on. This would be a good thing.

Of course, she could become insanely jealous and hunt the two of you down/ set you up for a crime so that you are out of the picture. But hope for the best.

Reply 7

thinktoomuch610

Speak with the rest of your group of friends without her to let them know what's going on, so it doesn't seem like you're keeping it behind their backs.

But you said it yourself, she's not very nice to you, and do you really wanna be friends with someone that stops you being happy? Nope! So go for it is what I say : )

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Reply 8

Birkenhead

Chicks before dicks, as ye olde saying goes

Reply 9

Anonymous #1

Thanks everyone,

I mean I am one of those people that don't like upsetting anyone and even although she isn't that nice to me I still don't want to upset her.

I mean any time I talk to this guy (and most of the time it is caused because he wants to talk to me) she then gives me this really frosty glare and ignores me for a while afterwards.

Some of my other friends know about it, some of them are siding with me as they know what she can be like, but the others believe that I am interfering with her chances to go out with him which I don't believe I am doing.

I cant help who he likes but at the same time I know that in a way I must be causing it because if he didn't like me then none of this would have happened.

See what I mean ??? :confused:

Reply 10

Studentus-anonymous

Original post by evalilyXOX

So she did nothing in those two years?

Snooze you lose I guess.

Reply 11

Anonymous #1

Thanks guys for all you help !

I went on a date with him last week but it wasn't like a serious date cause we went into town for an hour and chatted over a costa coffee.

He asked me if he wanted to take this to the next level but I told him that I wasn't ready for anything else and that I would rather be his friend. tbh it was really because I didn't want to upset my friend but at the same time the date was quite awkward at times so I didn't think it would work.

He was upset with me and his best mate even sent me a horrible message but it is now all over and the girl who likes him is being a bit nicer to me now that I'm not a threat to her chance of a relationship with him.

The guy doesn't really speak to me now which tbh I don't understand because fair enough I did in a way stand him up but it was the best thing for everyone.