Sara in the student toom
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Why does he no longer stare at me?

He used to stare at me A LOT last year. I would always catch him and he would still continue to stare at me, and it wasn't one of those stares where you're just staring into space. He can't possibly be turning to look at me every few minutes to stare into space in face. I didn't have a clue back then - hell I didn't even know I was attractive, it kinda happened over the summer. I just kept asking myself "why is he staring? Do I have something on my face? Maybe he's not even staring at me, he's probably staring at the wall behind me. Let me give him a cold glare just in case". I probably didn't need to bother with the cold glare since I ALWAYS have a cold glare on my face.

He told our mutual friend, who has now left the college, that he thinks I am very attractive. I was surprised because no guy had ever thought I was attractive until I started college - compliments just kept coming my way, I thought people were just taking the piss at first but then I came to accept it. After what our mutual friend told me, I would stare back at him anytime I caught him looking back at me. BUT I never used to smile when I stared at him - I forgot to smile, smiling doesn't come naturally to me. He stopped staring at me for a while and whenever I used to see him I was curious "why isn't he staring at me anymore?" I mean I found it annoying before but now I was just plain curious and intrigued. I WANTED him to stare at me but at the same time, when he does, I don't want him to stare at him. It's confusing but I hope you understand. I get a real buzz when guys ignore me and it makes me want to get their attention again. And when I have their attention, I want to lose it. And start over. I don't know what the hell is wrong with me.

He doesn't look at me anymore (this year). He doesn't even give me a casual glance, one you would give to someone walking by. He completely ignores me. I saw him in the hallway of out college like last month, and he was walking with a friend. The hallway was empty, so it was just us (his friend, him and me). I've never smiled at him before, so I smiled at him when I saw him this time. He completely turned his head away and was fidgeting with his hair and scratching the back of his hair. Then he looks back up at me and I smile again, and he looks away quickly and doesn't look at me after that. Was I just imagining his interest before? I like him now, so is it all in my head? Or is he just super shy? What should I do? If I approach him, I don't mind whether it's on a friendship or romantic level. I'm just intrigued by him.

We go to the same college so when we're on the bus, he always sits on the seat behind me, never in front or next to me. I quite like him now and I'm serious, not trying to play games this time. but how do I get his attention or befriend him? From what I've observed he's a quiet/shy guy with his friends and I have NEVER seen him hang around with girls. Is he gay? Even if he's gay, I am still interested in befriending him. He seems like an interesting character. But I don't know how to go about doing that.
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MissaCwosby
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Hmm... Tough one.

When I like a girl in my class, I tend to stare at them but I look away when they look at me. Unless it a girl that I'm friends with then if she catches me I'll just continue.

Have you ever talked to him before? Like just a casual hello back when he did stare at you? Chances are he's lost interest although whenever I'm around a girl I used to like, I'll act nervous like you described he was like.

Assuming that this guy and I are very much alike, (which isn't very likely at all) I wouldn't imagine he's gay. My guess is that he liked you and he's lost interest. Try talking to him if you like him let him know he might get interested again.
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Sara in the student toom
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(Original post by MissaCwosby)
Hmm... Tough one.

When I like a girl in my class, I tend to stare at them but I look away when they look at me. Unless it a girl that I'm friends with then if she catches me I'll just continue.

Have you ever talked to him before? Like just a casual hello back when he did stare at you? Chances are he's lost interest although whenever I'm around a girl I used to like, I'll act nervous like you described he was like.

Assuming that this guy and I are very much alike, (which isn't very likely at all) I wouldn't imagine he's gay. My guess is that he liked you and he's lost interest. Try talking to him if you like him let him know he might get interested again.
No, we've never spoken :/ I've always wanted to say hi to him but he gives off this aloof vibe. Maybe it's just his shyness Idk. How do I strike up a conversation with someone like him? You know, the shy, aloof and quiet kind who may or may not be interested in you. I, too, appear intimidating to others. Could he be intimidated by me? Not trying to brag, but I am attractive and I have this confident strut which people tend to notice when I'm walking. Also, I don't smile and look like I'm constantly pouting when I'm not. Do you think he thinks that I think I'm "above everyone"? Do you think that's what's putting him off? I'm not like that, but that's what others generally think of me even though I am shy too.
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James4d
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(Original post by Sara in the student toom)
Why does he no longer stare at me?

He used to stare at me A LOT last year. I would always catch him and he would still continue to stare at me, and it wasn't one of those stares where you're just staring into space. He can't possibly be turning to look at me every few minutes to stare into space in face. I didn't have a clue back then - hell I didn't even know I was attractive, it kinda happened over the summer. I just kept asking myself "why is he staring? Do I have something on my face? Maybe he's not even staring at me, he's probably staring at the wall behind me. Let me give him a cold glare just in case". I probably didn't need to bother with the cold glare since I ALWAYS have a cold glare on my face.

He told our mutual friend, who has now left the college, that he thinks I am very attractive. I was surprised because no guy had ever thought I was attractive until I started college - compliments just kept coming my way, I thought people were just taking the piss at first but then I came to accept it. After what our mutual friend told me, I would stare back at him anytime I caught him looking back at me. BUT I never used to smile when I stared at him - I forgot to smile, smiling doesn't come naturally to me. He stopped staring at me for a while and whenever I used to see him I was curious "why isn't he staring at me anymore?" I mean I found it annoying before but now I was just plain curious and intrigued. I WANTED him to stare at me but at the same time, when he does, I don't want him to stare at him. It's confusing but I hope you understand. I get a real buzz when guys ignore me and it makes me want to get their attention again. And when I have their attention, I want to lose it. And start over. I don't know what the hell is wrong with me.

He doesn't look at me anymore (this year). He doesn't even give me a casual glance, one you would give to someone walking by. He completely ignores me. I saw him in the hallway of out college like last month, and he was walking with a friend. The hallway was empty, so it was just us (his friend, him and me). I've never smiled at him before, so I smiled at him when I saw him this time. He completely turned his head away and was fidgeting with his hair and scratching the back of his hair. Then he looks back up at me and I smile again, and he looks away quickly and doesn't look at me after that. Was I just imagining his interest before? I like him now, so is it all in my head? Or is he just super shy? What should I do? If I approach him, I don't mind whether it's on a friendship or romantic level. I'm just intrigued by him.

We go to the same college so when we're on the bus, he always sits on the seat behind me, never in front or next to me. I quite like him now and I'm serious, not trying to play games this time. but how do I get his attention or befriend him? From what I've observed he's a quiet/shy guy with his friends and I have NEVER seen him hang around with girls. Is he gay? Even if he's gay, I am still interested in befriending him. He seems like an interesting character. But I don't know how to go about doing that.

(Original post by Sara in the student toom)
No, we've never spoken :/ I've always wanted to say hi to him but he gives off this aloof vibe. Maybe it's just his shyness Idk. How do I strike up a conversation with someone like him? You know, the shy, aloof and quiet kind who may or may not be interested in you. I, too, appear intimidating to others. Could he be intimidated by me? Not trying to brag, but I am attractive and I have this confident strut which people tend to notice when I'm walking. Also, I don't smile and look like I'm constantly pouting when I'm not. Do you think he thinks that I think I'm "above everyone"? Do you think that's what's putting him off? I'm not like that, but that's what others generally think of me even though I am shy too.
You must drive your friends crazy.
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Anonymous #1
#5
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why don't you just speak to eachother. say hi? you are in the same class afterall
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Sara in the student toom
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(Original post by Anonymous)
why don't you just speak to eachother. say hi? you are in the same class afterall
Oh, we're not in the same class. We just go to the same college and I see him every morning - we get the same bus
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Sara in the student toom
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(Original post by James4d)
You must drive your friends crazy.
Lol how so? They don't seem too bothered by me. Or annoyed or anything like that haha
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MissaCwosby
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(Original post by Sara in the student toom)
No, we've never spoken :/ I've always wanted to say hi to him but he gives off this aloof vibe. Maybe it's just his shyness Idk. How do I strike up a conversation with someone like him? You know, the shy, aloof and quiet kind who may or may not be interested in you. I, too, appear intimidating to others. Could he be intimidated by me? Not trying to brag, but I am attractive and I have this confident strut which people tend to notice when I'm walking. Also, I don't smile and look like I'm constantly pouting when I'm not. Do you think he thinks that I think I'm "above everyone"? Do you think that's what's putting him off? I'm not like that, but that's what others generally think of me even though I am shy too.
I think what it could be is that he's too shy to talk to you, and you're too shy to talk to him and neither of you guys have any idea as to how to start talking to each other. It's pretty cute of you ask me

You said you have a mutual friend, do you think they could introduce you to him?

If that's not possible just say 'Hey [insert guys name here]' every time you walk past him. If he looks startled it's probably a good thing :P then you can just go on from there. When and if he says hi back you could probably start having a chat with him causally. The easiest thing to say is 'how are you?' or 'how's it going?' if he says 'good thank you?' make sure you have something interesting to say to keep the conversation flowing :P

Hopefully this gives you some ideas as to how you can start talking to him
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myah_94
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(Original post by Sara in the student toom)
It's confusing but I hope you understand. I get a real buzz when guys ignore me and it makes me want to get their attention again. And when I have their attention, I want to lose it. And start over.
mhmm, me too
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Solid.Snake
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Just approach him and try striking up a conversation with him.
For example, you say you both catch the same bus, well if it's busy then just sit next to him and try talking to him.

From the sound of things, he is quite shy and either has begun to lose interest in you or is startled by your sudden interest in him and doesn't know how to respond back...

Good luck!
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Jem97
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I think he liked you and maybe he wanted you to acknowledge him, but maybe because you didn't smile he thought you wasn't interested. But maybe because you smiled at him he might feel awkward because a girl might of never smiled at him before. Maybe just say hi when you see him on the bus or sumthin, good luck.
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Guills on wheels
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(Original post by Sara in the student toom)
Why does he no longer stare at me?

He used to stare at me A LOT last year. I would always catch him and he would still continue to stare at me, and it wasn't one of those stares where you're just staring into space. He can't possibly be turning to look at me every few minutes to stare into space in face. I didn't have a clue back then - hell I didn't even know I was attractive, it kinda happened over the summer. I just kept asking myself "why is he staring? Do I have something on my face? Maybe he's not even staring at me, he's probably staring at the wall behind me. Let me give him a cold glare just in case". I probably didn't need to bother with the cold glare since I ALWAYS have a cold glare on my face.

He told our mutual friend, who has now left the college, that he thinks I am very attractive. I was surprised because no guy had ever thought I was attractive until I started college - compliments just kept coming my way, I thought people were just taking the piss at first but then I came to accept it. After what our mutual friend told me, I would stare back at him anytime I caught him looking back at me. BUT I never used to smile when I stared at him - I forgot to smile, smiling doesn't come naturally to me. He stopped staring at me for a while and whenever I used to see him I was curious "why isn't he staring at me anymore?" I mean I found it annoying before but now I was just plain curious and intrigued. I WANTED him to stare at me but at the same time, when he does, I don't want him to stare at him. It's confusing but I hope you understand. I get a real buzz when guys ignore me and it makes me want to get their attention again. And when I have their attention, I want to lose it. And start over. I don't know what the hell is wrong with me.

He doesn't look at me anymore (this year). He doesn't even give me a casual glance, one you would give to someone walking by. He completely ignores me. I saw him in the hallway of out college like last month, and he was walking with a friend. The hallway was empty, so it was just us (his friend, him and me). I've never smiled at him before, so I smiled at him when I saw him this time. He completely turned his head away and was fidgeting with his hair and scratching the back of his hair. Then he looks back up at me and I smile again, and he looks away quickly and doesn't look at me after that. Was I just imagining his interest before? I like him now, so is it all in my head? Or is he just super shy? What should I do? If I approach him, I don't mind whether it's on a friendship or romantic level. I'm just intrigued by him.

We go to the same college so when we're on the bus, he always sits on the seat behind me, never in front or next to me. I quite like him now and I'm serious, not trying to play games this time. but how do I get his attention or befriend him? From what I've observed he's a quiet/shy guy with his friends and I have NEVER seen him hang around with girls. Is he gay? Even if he's gay, I am still interested in befriending him. He seems like an interesting character. But I don't know how to go about doing that.
Brushed over it quickly.

You want to befriend him? Talk to him, be nice and don't scare him. He's probably just watching you. Guys do that sometimes.

I'll be blunt. He's either ultra shy or doesn't like you. He sounds weird but nice. In other words, go for it
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James4d
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(Original post by Sara in the student toom)
Lol how so? They don't seem too bothered by me. Or annoyed or anything like that haha

You're just making all this a huge deal. Writing about it as if you were in a genuine catastrophe in dire need of help.

At the risk of sounding sexist (and old) I just read a study that suggest girls who over think their problems and talk about them too often are more at risk of depression : http://rcp.missouri.edu/articles/ros...epression.html quoted in good old Cracked http://www.cracked.com/article_20204...ould-read.html

Not to put a downer on you or anything- my point is just relax about it. I didn't know until I was in a serious relationship how much a guys actions are over-analysed by women (again, this is my experience, sorry to sound to sexist). So just be happy, dont let stuff like this get to you, and if you're unsure about a guy, be friendly and talk to him (seriously, we ****ing love getting approached by friendly girls. It will make his day).

Anyway, hope I've been more helpful than patronising. Good luck either way
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