How much is a boyfriend supposed to care when your down? Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 6 years ago
#1
Whenever I'm upset I try to avoid my boyfriend so he doesn't find me annoying, but he makes me feel better so sometimes I give in. Today I've been feeling really down, I think its because I had an implant put in yesterday and its messing with my emotions. I called him this evening to ask if I can come over for a cuddle and he replied saying no because his room is really messy. I got even more upset and ended the call, then after he texted me all these excuses saying hes having a bad day too (even though he only woke up minutes before I called him in the evening) and he has a cold. I just got really pissed off and told him to stop lying around and tidy up his room and have a shower.

I feel like he doesn't care about my feelings. I expect him to be the first person I turn to if I'm feeling down, because he's my boyfriend. I hate it whenever he's down and I'd go out of my way to cheer him up, and it hurts he wouldn't do the same. I just started uni and I don't have any friends close enough to confide my problems in, so if he doesn't care, I don't have anyone.

Am I being unreasonable or is he? My emotions are all over the place today and I need another's perspective on my situation before I blow things out of proportion without knowing. Aren't I in the right here though?
0
reply
tufc
Badges: 14
Rep:
?
#2
Report 6 years ago
#2
He has another girl round there.
4
reply
Avolil
Badges: 0
Rep:
?
#3
Report 6 years ago
#3
Just leave him to himself, the more you whine at him to care more the more it will annoy him.
0
reply
Avolil
Badges: 0
Rep:
?
#4
Report 6 years ago
#4
Also, if he's also having a bad day maybe he just wants to be alone? Maybe he deals with off-days differently to you.
0
reply
Dragonfly07
Badges: 18
Rep:
?
#5
Report 6 years ago
#5
Some men simply can't tell when you're genuinely upset. It isn't his fault.

Next time you ring him, tell him you're upset and that you REALLY want to go there for a cuddle because it'll make you feel better (rather than "can I come over for a cuddle" without mentioning the reason). That way there's no way he wouldn't get the message, and if he says no then you have reason to worry.
0
reply
IloveDisney
Badges: 1
Rep:
?
#6
Report 6 years ago
#6
I often have this thought with my boyfriend, but what I've realised is that men show their care and affection in a totally different way to women. For me personally, my boyfriend is always there for me ''whenever and wherever''. He's the sweetest when he's available to talk and listen to me. The limitation: not when he's studying or at work ha! But he will always message me, even if it's late, and ask if I'm ok etc. I've had the same reaction as you when he's had a bad day, he tends to focus more on himself instead. But I honestly believe this is human nature, the self wants attention for its own emotions first.

I am sure he cares for you (although if he doesn't show any care or respect for you then that's a different issue). I also don't have any friends close enough to confide in, so I rely on him too, but I've realised that we shouldn't be dependant upon one person, rather have control of your own feelings and understand that relationships friends and even regretfully family are not always there for you.

Edit: I also agree with the above posts!
0
reply
Spontogical
Badges: 0
Rep:
?
#7
Report 6 years ago
#7
(Original post by tufc)
He has another girl round there.
Not cool to plant the seed of doubt in a girl's mind lol.
0
reply
Sally <3 Howl
Badges: 6
Rep:
?
#8
Report 6 years ago
#8
I don't think either of you are being unreasonable. So you both had a crappy day and want different things. You want to be comforted by him and he just wants some time alone. I don't think theres anything wrong with either of those things its just a unfortunate coincidence that it happened at the same time I'm sure tomorrow when you're both feeling better it'll be fine. Don't be too hard on him, boys get hormonal too
0
reply
X

Quick Reply

Attached files
Write a reply...
Reply
new posts
Back
to top
Latest
My Feed

See more of what you like on
The Student Room

You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

Personalise

Why wouldn't you turn to teachers if you were being bullied?

They might tell my parents (2)
9.52%
They might tell the bully (4)
19.05%
I don't think they'd understand (3)
14.29%
It might lead to more bullying (7)
33.33%
There's nothing they could do (5)
23.81%

Watched Threads

View All