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uncontrollable crying/university
Alright everyone. Yeah, so, bloody crying. Hate it. I'm a Male also, which makes it harder, due to the macho image and all that.
I can just picture myself being dropped off at University and being flooded in a pool of tears. I still feel like a kid, I find it hard to think that I won't be coming home everyday, yet I need to let go eventually. I mean, I started crying over the bloody decisions I had to make for university. Some of you will say 'fair enough', but it easily happens to me. Anyone who knew me would not even think of me saying this sort of stuff. So, does anyone have these sort of thoughts?
I can just picture myself being dropped off at University and being flooded in a pool of tears. I still feel like a kid, I find it hard to think that I won't be coming home everyday, yet I need to let go eventually. I mean, I started crying over the bloody decisions I had to make for university. Some of you will say 'fair enough', but it easily happens to me. Anyone who knew me would not even think of me saying this sort of stuff. So, does anyone have these sort of thoughts?
Melchett
Lol PUFF!
Thanks for your extremely useful contribution!
To the OP- dont worry, Im sure you'll be fine when you start uni. And so what if you do get upset- its part of life, we all get upset sometimes over various things. Im sure you will be fine once you get settled into uni life and start going out and meeting new people. And you can always go home at weekends anyway if things get too tough, but like you say, you need to let go at some point.
me and both my parents were a reck the day they left me at uni, all three of us were crying, so i understand how you feel. I'm sure other people will just think it's cos you are close to you parents or something. The best thing to do is distract yourself. get excited about your room/the city or whatever and get to know as many people as you can, most will be in the same boat. forget about home for a week or two, treat it as a holiday until you get settled in.
stokedasagoat
Alright everyone. Yeah, so, bloody crying. Hate it. I'm a Male also, which makes it harder, due to the macho image and all that.
I can just picture myself being dropped off at University and being flooded in a pool of tears. I still feel like a kid, I find it hard to think that I won't be coming home everyday, yet I need to let go eventually. I mean, I started crying over the bloody decisions I had to make for university. Some of you will say 'fair enough', but it easily happens to me. Anyone who knew me would not even think of me saying this sort of stuff. So, does anyone have these sort of thoughts?
I can just picture myself being dropped off at University and being flooded in a pool of tears. I still feel like a kid, I find it hard to think that I won't be coming home everyday, yet I need to let go eventually. I mean, I started crying over the bloody decisions I had to make for university. Some of you will say 'fair enough', but it easily happens to me. Anyone who knew me would not even think of me saying this sort of stuff. So, does anyone have these sort of thoughts?
i have been through that also. i used to cry a lot on my first month in the university. being away from home, my family and friends is really depressing. make yourself busy. enjoy the new environent you are in. i made lots of friends on my first few weeks in the uni and it helped me get over my crying fits. hope you'll feel better soon
stokedasagoat
Alright everyone. Yeah, so, bloody crying. Hate it. I'm a Male also, which makes it harder, due to the macho image and all that.
I can just picture myself being dropped off at University and being flooded in a pool of tears. I still feel like a kid, I find it hard to think that I won't be coming home everyday, yet I need to let go eventually. I mean, I started crying over the bloody decisions I had to make for university. Some of you will say 'fair enough', but it easily happens to me. Anyone who knew me would not even think of me saying this sort of stuff. So, does anyone have these sort of thoughts?
I can just picture myself being dropped off at University and being flooded in a pool of tears. I still feel like a kid, I find it hard to think that I won't be coming home everyday, yet I need to let go eventually. I mean, I started crying over the bloody decisions I had to make for university. Some of you will say 'fair enough', but it easily happens to me. Anyone who knew me would not even think of me saying this sort of stuff. So, does anyone have these sort of thoughts?
awwwwwwwww. I'll be ur shoulder to cry on
ignore the (several) unuseful comments that have been left. it is difficult leaving for uni. but be pleased to know that you have several months to get used to the idea. it probably wont look great if you burst into tears when dropped off. but you can always show your emotions within the confinement of your room? try to make a list of all the positive things about leaving home for uni and when your there and feel you can't cope whip it out and reassure yourself. if you really really hate the idea that much perhaps you should consider a gap year? some people just aren't ready
stud1_89
omg...man up.
Ok, I knew these sort of comments would come. Yes, I was feeling rather pissed off in the first post and it sounds amazingly un-macho, I mean **** I cringe looking at that post right now. The 'pool of tears' comment was a bit over the top I know, but I have always had contrasting thoughts of Uni. One day I'm exited and can't wait to get away, the next I'm thinking about what will be left behind. It's interesting though, that when a male cries, everyone else takes the piss. Even I've done it! Ive seen loads of males get worked up over some really small things and I can't help but think what you are thinking stud.
Yeah I've dug a bit of a hole, and I kind of regret making this post but call me a poof, wuss, wimp etc if you like. I just think this sort of stuff is hard to ignore.
Ok I'm a girl so its different but personally I don't have a problem with guys crying. I think it can often be the best thing. My ex used 2 get worked up & angry & I much prefered it when he cried. Maybe I'm weird but I tend to go 4 guys who have a vulnerable side who I can give a hug & try 2 make them feel better. I get quite emotional at times so it makes me feel more equal I guess.
As for starting uni it will be emotional for lots of people. It was for me! I hated seeing my parents drive off. Also I went home early on & cried at having to go back & I was actually enjoying uni! I just wanted my family & bf with me. If u live nearby u know u can go home in a couple of weeks if u want. If not there is always the phone. I found when I got upset it was better to have a good cry to get it out my system then go and do something. It prob is best not to let people see u cry straight away cos some people r mean about things like that. Maybe if u know u r going to cry saying goodbye dont say goodbye rite in front of ur new flatmates. Crying in the shower means no1 notices. This post sounds like I spent my whole time at first crying! I didnt honestly! I was generally absolutely fine but it would just hit me at times, usually in bed at night etc. After a few wks most people get used to it & have made some new friends and are fine! Good luck!
As for starting uni it will be emotional for lots of people. It was for me! I hated seeing my parents drive off. Also I went home early on & cried at having to go back & I was actually enjoying uni! I just wanted my family & bf with me. If u live nearby u know u can go home in a couple of weeks if u want. If not there is always the phone. I found when I got upset it was better to have a good cry to get it out my system then go and do something. It prob is best not to let people see u cry straight away cos some people r mean about things like that. Maybe if u know u r going to cry saying goodbye dont say goodbye rite in front of ur new flatmates. Crying in the shower means no1 notices. This post sounds like I spent my whole time at first crying! I didnt honestly! I was generally absolutely fine but it would just hit me at times, usually in bed at night etc. After a few wks most people get used to it & have made some new friends and are fine! Good luck!
stokedasagoat
Ok, I knew these sort of comments would come. Yes, I was feeling rather pissed off in the first post and it sounds amazingly un-macho, I mean **** I cringe looking at that post right now. The 'pool of tears' comment was a bit over the top I know, but I have always had contrasting thoughts of Uni. One day I'm exited and can't wait to get away, the next I'm thinking about what will be left behind. It's interesting though, that when a male cries, everyone else takes the piss. Even I've done it! Ive seen loads of males get worked up over some really small things and I can't help but think what you are thinking stud.
Yeah I've dug a bit of a hole, and I kind of regret making this post but call me a poof, wuss, wimp etc if you like. I just think this sort of stuff is hard to ignore.
Yeah I've dug a bit of a hole, and I kind of regret making this post but call me a poof, wuss, wimp etc if you like. I just think this sort of stuff is hard to ignore.
Your making yourself sound stupid saying you cringe at your post and its un macho etc, have some confidence. If anything it takes courage to admit that your upset and will miss home and its all perfectly normal a lot of guys will feel like you. Like people have said just focus on the good points and remind yourself that you can always go back home if you hate it
*Claire*
Ok I'm a girl so its different but personally I don't have a problem with guys crying. I think it can often be the best thing. My ex used 2 get worked up & angry & I much prefered it when he cried. Maybe I'm weird but I tend to go 4 guys who have a vulnerable side who I can give a hug & try 2 make them feel better. I get quite emotional at times so it makes me feel more equal I guess.
As for starting uni it will be emotional for lots of people. It was for me! I hated seeing my parents drive off. Also I went home early on & cried at having to go back & I was actually enjoying uni! I just wanted my family & bf with me. If u live nearby u know u can go home in a couple of weeks if u want. If not there is always the phone. I found when I got upset it was better to have a good cry to get it out my system then go and do something. It prob is best not to let people see u cry straight away cos some people r mean about things like that. Maybe if u know u r going to cry saying goodbye dont say goodbye rite in front of ur new flatmates. Crying in the shower means no1 notices. This post sounds like I spent my whole time at first crying! I didnt honestly! I was generally absolutely fine but it would just hit me at times, usually in bed at night etc. After a few wks most people get used to it & have made some new friends and are fine! Good luck!
As for starting uni it will be emotional for lots of people. It was for me! I hated seeing my parents drive off. Also I went home early on & cried at having to go back & I was actually enjoying uni! I just wanted my family & bf with me. If u live nearby u know u can go home in a couple of weeks if u want. If not there is always the phone. I found when I got upset it was better to have a good cry to get it out my system then go and do something. It prob is best not to let people see u cry straight away cos some people r mean about things like that. Maybe if u know u r going to cry saying goodbye dont say goodbye rite in front of ur new flatmates. Crying in the shower means no1 notices. This post sounds like I spent my whole time at first crying! I didnt honestly! I was generally absolutely fine but it would just hit me at times, usually in bed at night etc. After a few wks most people get used to it & have made some new friends and are fine! Good luck!
Spot on, we girls quite enjoy enpathising with the males who're actually feeling something. Funny though, the people who cope best are those that have actually considered the down side, who've wanted to cry just at the thought of going to uni and actually haven't built it up to be something that it really isn't. When you get there go on the roller coaster ride and see where it takes you, I think you'll be ok. I hated the thought of being here, but would hate to be anywhere else now.
Me and both my parents were crying when they left me...i really have no idea why...we don't generally get that emotional over anything! Anyway, please do not worry about uni in the slightest, for the large majority of people it is the most amazing time of their lives. Just look forward to it, it really is far superior to school and college.
stokedasagoat, there's nothing wrong with breaking the "macho" stereotype that many guys often try to uphold almost religiously. If you're in touch with your feelings then that's just you - if other people don't like it, tell them to **** off. Simple, no?
Honestly, it doesn't matter how other people perceive you. I prove this with my rather "unmanly" appearance. I have a hairband wrapped around my wrist almost constantly (a number of people mistake it for being a wrist support, though...looking at it, I can see why), I wear purple nail varnish and eyeshadow and I wear all sorts of jewellery. Obviously I get a few people making jokes like saying I'm a poof or a woman (one of my friends kept calling me Eddie Izzard on Tuesday night) and such, but do I care? Not at all. I look the way I do purely to give myself a fairly unique look - I certainly can't think of anyone in the university who looks even remotely like me, anyway.
I also have some fairly random outbursts of tears when I've got something on my mind that overwhelms me...I've never been good at handling pressure or whatever, so I find thinking about "big" things to be rather difficult, and sometimes crying is the only way to get it out of your system. Succumbing to severe depression that had me at one point stocking up for a planned overdose, for example, has sort of haunted me for a few months, and recollections of those weeks when it was that bad can very easily bring a tear to my eye.
Going to university is a 'big' step, but it's really not that bad. I'm sure you can think of several downsides, like being away from your parents (especially if they've always been with you, like mine have), but it's not as bad as you can make it sound in your mind. Actually, I too sort of miss my parents while I'm in uni - when she was on a trip to Ireland last year my mum bought me a necklace, which I wear constantly as a nice reminder of home. I've also got a picture of my beloved dog right beside my computer monitor
Honestly, it doesn't matter how other people perceive you. I prove this with my rather "unmanly" appearance. I have a hairband wrapped around my wrist almost constantly (a number of people mistake it for being a wrist support, though...looking at it, I can see why), I wear purple nail varnish and eyeshadow and I wear all sorts of jewellery. Obviously I get a few people making jokes like saying I'm a poof or a woman (one of my friends kept calling me Eddie Izzard on Tuesday night) and such, but do I care? Not at all. I look the way I do purely to give myself a fairly unique look - I certainly can't think of anyone in the university who looks even remotely like me, anyway.
I also have some fairly random outbursts of tears when I've got something on my mind that overwhelms me...I've never been good at handling pressure or whatever, so I find thinking about "big" things to be rather difficult, and sometimes crying is the only way to get it out of your system. Succumbing to severe depression that had me at one point stocking up for a planned overdose, for example, has sort of haunted me for a few months, and recollections of those weeks when it was that bad can very easily bring a tear to my eye.
Going to university is a 'big' step, but it's really not that bad. I'm sure you can think of several downsides, like being away from your parents (especially if they've always been with you, like mine have), but it's not as bad as you can make it sound in your mind. Actually, I too sort of miss my parents while I'm in uni - when she was on a trip to Ireland last year my mum bought me a necklace, which I wear constantly as a nice reminder of home. I've also got a picture of my beloved dog right beside my computer monitor
I still cry at uni (just about to finish my first year) if its been a tough week or if haven't managed to see any of my small circle of friends. It's a lonely place and I miss my old friends, boyfriend and family. I live 60miles from uni but I go home every weekend to get a break from it, makes the weeks a bit more bearable. There's no shame in missing people and I generally don't find the typical student lifestyle something that interests me, it seems most people are there to waste thier time rather than to get a good degree. It's helpful to try and make a few good aquaintances and to find likeminded people (but this does require a lot of effort the first week if you'd rather be on your own in your room) but it's worth it. I still fint it lonely but I see uni as a means to an end, it doesn't suit us all, just try to make the best of it.
Good luck!
Good luck!
hey, i actually think boys crying can be a good thing, i like to know you guys can show emotion!! im practically in tears over the thought of leaving sixth form dont worry, im really scared and excited at the same time about uni and know i will be in floods when i leave home for the first time in september. but crying isnt always a bad thing! i leave sixth form in 2 weeks, our proms on fri night with leavers lunch the friday after! i gurantee il be in tears! i feel quite close to a lot of ppl in sixth form and know i wont see some of them very much once ive gone to uni. im scared about living with strangers, about having to be independent and watch my money....its terrifying. But lots of people go through it and i know i can do it, its just all new to us! sorry about the long rambling, i guess your post also released some of my fears too!! xxxx
i imagine it to be quite a difficult time that takes a lot of adjustment.. but from the sounds of it most people go out in freshers week and get really drunk which may make it slightly easier!! there's always a phone call home and obviously it'll be a big change but there will be many people in the same boat at uni with you. not much you can do really, but don't forget the kleenex!
I was sheltered before coming to uni, a 'family man', as it were, and I was half dreading and half looking forward to the experience.
When I got there in Sept 2004, I couldn't stop crying (when I was on my own). I hated it. Homesickness was rife.
Do not be afraid of this- hopefully it won't happen to you, but if it does it is thoroughly natural. The idea that men shouldn't cry is a myth- if one can't cry when one misses those who he loves, when can he? What absolute tripe to suggest that men shouldn't cry.
Time is a great healer. If you are homesick, I can promise you wholeheartedly from both my experience and that of others', that it DOES get better, maybe in a matter of weeks, or months, but it DOES.
I LOVE uni now, absolutely adore it, it's a second home to me and I've changed so much. Embrace the change. Youre not dying, home will still exist and you won't be away for more than 2 months at a time.
Rely on old and new friends, family and heck, God, if you have faith (He certainly got me through my 'depression').
Just know that it does get easier- people are there to support you- it will make you stronger- it will make you a 'better' person- and it IS ok to cry.
God bless,
Nathan
When I got there in Sept 2004, I couldn't stop crying (when I was on my own). I hated it. Homesickness was rife.
Do not be afraid of this- hopefully it won't happen to you, but if it does it is thoroughly natural. The idea that men shouldn't cry is a myth- if one can't cry when one misses those who he loves, when can he? What absolute tripe to suggest that men shouldn't cry.
Time is a great healer. If you are homesick, I can promise you wholeheartedly from both my experience and that of others', that it DOES get better, maybe in a matter of weeks, or months, but it DOES.
I LOVE uni now, absolutely adore it, it's a second home to me and I've changed so much. Embrace the change. Youre not dying, home will still exist and you won't be away for more than 2 months at a time.
Rely on old and new friends, family and heck, God, if you have faith (He certainly got me through my 'depression').
Just know that it does get easier- people are there to support you- it will make you stronger- it will make you a 'better' person- and it IS ok to cry.
God bless,
Nathan
You know what manI feel youCuz what you’v told me is my life right nowI even start the week cryingLiving alone no friends lost friendsBums my brain for goodMy grades are not bright too cuz of my depression which is going long termAnd the best part its my 2nd year at uniAnd for a year have been going to counseling evryweek But tell ya dude dont be an alcoholic like me cuz of itI know my reply is not helping you to feel better but just wanted to shareEven cried few min ago before writing this
Original post by Tulasi Sanghani
Stfu
Wow you are so manly and cool!!. And this is a 15 year old thread.
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