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    And "doesn't" should be "will not" and I would put "the outcome of my application" instead of just "application".

    And "To whom it may concern" seems overly official and perhaps pompous. You should sound as friendly as you did at interview...I would use just "Hello," but maybe that's just a matter of personal taste in emails.
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    I don't mean to pick...as it is a formal letter maybe you should put

    My teacher said she my illness had affected my work and sitting the exam would result in a grade which did not reflect my ability.

    instead of

    My teacher said she isn't going to put my exam application in because even though I had tried to catch up I wasn't up to the standard that she believed I needed to be in order to take the exam.

    because the person doesn't not want a long winded story and it, in my opinion sounds like you had potenial in this subject but through illness have decided againist straining yourself to meet a certain grade.

    Also avoid using brackets (not very impressive and formal to do this is it) and the use of words such doesn't or wasn't because it isn't very formal.

    Otherwise, It seems fine.
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    I wouldn't put "My teacher said she isn't going to put my exam application...", instead "my teacher has decided not to...".

    It sounds more formal.
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    (Original post by a_musical_gal)
    I don't mean to pick...as it is a formal letter maybe you should put

    My teacher said she my illness had affected my work and sitting the exam would result in a grade which did not reflect my ability.

    instead of

    My teacher said she isn't going to put my exam application in because even though I had tried to catch up I wasn't up to the standard that she believed I needed to be in order to take the exam.

    because the person doesn't not want a long winded story and it, in my opinion sounds like you had potenial in this subject but through illness have decided againist straining yourself to meet a certain grade.

    Also avoid using brackets (not very impressive and formal to do this is it) and the use of words such doesn't or wasn't because it isn't very formal.

    Otherwise, It seems fine.
    I agree - that is a very good point It shows that Dani would be able to achieve and the illness was the only problem that hindered her. I don't think Dani should mention the crash-course bit - it might show a very irresponsible attitude if she has taken A level Spanish after only knowing very basic Spanish.
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    (Original post by Lord Huntroyde)
    I wouldn't put "My teacher said she isn't going to put my exam application...", instead "my teacher has decided not to...".

    It sounds more formal.
    Yap.
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    Ok guys what do you think of this?

    Hello

    My name is Danielle Robinson (ucas thing). I attended an interview on the 12th March for the Journalism BA at LCC. At the time of the interview, I forgot to mention that I am no longer sitting the AS Spanish exam.

    During November, I contracted glandular fever and missed a few weeks of school. My teacher said she my illness had affected my work and sitting the exam would result in a grade which did not reflect my ability.

    I am sorry that I did not bring this to your notice sooner and I hope it will not hinder my application.

    Thank you for your time

    Danielle Robinson (ucas)
    (e-mail address)

    edit - also maybe you should snail mail a copy as they may lose your e-mail and also then they have a written copy
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    Good but I changed it slightly:

    Hello,

    My name is Danielle Robinson (Ucas no. XXXX). I attended an interview on the 12th March for a Journalism BA at LCC. At the time of the interview, I forgot to mention that I am no longer sitting the AS Spanish exam.

    This is because I contracted glandular fever during November last year and thus missed a few weeks of school. My teacher said my illness had affected my work and sitting the exam would result in a grade which did not reflect my ability.

    I am sorry that I did not bring this to your notice sooner and I hope it will not hinder my application.

    Thank you for your time

    Danielle Robinson
    (ucas)
    (e-mail address)
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    (Original post by a_musical_gal)
    edit - also maybe you should snail mail a copy as they may lose your e-mail and also then they have a written copy[/color]
    I don't think that is required Email is by far the most efficient form of communication to a university, and if you are sending it my post, you'll probably end up getting an email reply before the hard copy gets there. Don't bother.
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    (Original post by Adhsur)
    Good but I changed it slightly:

    Hello,

    My name is Danielle Robinson (Ucas no. XXXX). I attended an interview on the 12th March for a Journalism BA at LCC. At the time of the interview, I forgot to mention that I am no longer sitting the AS Spanish exam.

    This is because I contracted glandular fever during November last year and thus missed a few weeks of school. My teacher said my illness had affected my work and sitting the exam would result in a grade which did not reflect my ability.

    I am sorry that I did not bring this to your notice sooner and I hope it will not hinder my application.

    Thank you for your time

    Danielle Robinson
    (ucas)
    (e-mail address)


    perfect! I'm not even applying to uni this year and I already know how to write an e-mail to a uni...hehe

    later guys...I'm off to work
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    I still don't like that glandular fever paragraph, it seems clumsy

    Really I don't think they're going to reconsider your application based on the quality of English in this e-mail. Don't get too worked up over it.
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    (Original post by Gimp)
    I still don't like that glandular fever paragraph, it seems clumsy

    Really I don't think they're going to reconsider your application based on the quality of English in this e-mail. Don't get too worked up over it.
    Indeed.

    As for the glandular fever thing - I think it looks like a desperate excuse for something petty, when people drop subjects all the time. I doubt a few weeks of illness made your subject knowledge SO poor. Spanish isn't a fact-based subject at all, but a pick up-as-you-go-along one, so that any drop in how well you knew the subject would be minimal.
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    This is a little better, I think:

    My name is Danielle Robinson (Ucas no. XXXX). I attended an interview on the 12th March for a Journalism BA at LCC. At the time of the interview, I neglected to mention that I am no longer sitting the AS Spanish exam.

    Unfortunately, I contracted glandular fever during November last year, and thus missed a few weeks of school. I had been informed that this illness had affected my work, and, due to this, sitting the exam would result in a grade which did not reflect my ability.

    I am sorry that I did not bring this to your attention sooner and I hope that this minor oversight will not hinder my application.

    Thank you for your time.

    Sincerely,
    Danielle Robinson
    (ucas)
    (e-mail address)
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    (Original post by Adhsur)
    Indeed.

    As for the glandular fever thing - I think it looks like a desperate excuse for something petty, when people drop subjects all the time. I doubt a few weeks of illness made your subject knowledge SO poor. Spanish isn't a fact-based subject at all, but a pick up-as-you-go-along one, so that any drop in how well you knew the subject would be minimal.
    ok ok let's change it again to

    I'm am no longer sitting AS Spainish because I hate the subject.

    Really going to have an impression on them!
    :rolleyes: :rolleyes:

    Glandular fever isn't like a cold. My cousin had it and she didn't feel truly better until months afterwards.
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    (Original post by Mr White)
    This is a little better, I think:

    My name is Danielle Robinson (Ucas no. XXXX). I attended an interview on the 12th March for a Journalism BA at LCC. At the time of the interview, I neglected to mention that I am no longer sitting the AS Spanish exam.

    Unfortunately, I contracted glandular fever during November last year, and thus missed a few weeks of school. I had been informed that this illness had affected my work, and, due to this, sitting the exam would result in a grade which did not reflect my ability.

    I am sorry that I did not bring this to your attention sooner and I hope that this minor oversight will not hinder my application.

    Thank you for your time.

    Sincerely,
    Danielle Robinson
    (ucas)
    (e-mail address)
    lol, perfect.
    how did you do in your chemistry module 4?
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    I like White's, maybe with

    (Original post by Mr White)
    and thus missed a few weeks of school
    to

    "which resulted in a prolonged absence from school" - a few weeks doesn't seem like sufficient to really prevent one from obtaining a grade which realistically indicates ability, plus "a few weeks" is vague/unconvincing

    and it's faithfully if you don't know the name of who you're writing to, sincerely if you do.
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    (Original post by Gimp)
    I like White's, maybe with



    to

    "which resulted in a prolonged absence from school" - a few weeks doesn't seem like sufficient to really prevent one from obtaining a grade which realistically indicates ability, plus "a few weeks" is vague/unconvincing

    and it's faithfully if you don't know the name of who you're writing to, sincerely if you do.
    Yes, replace the 'few weeks' with something slightly more inaccurate / misleading. For example, as Gimp said, "a prolonged absence" or "extended period of time" appears more serious.
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    Nitpicking you all are

    I think to be honest, you just need to avoid too many can'ts and won'ts because that's a pet hate of mine

    I think you should simply say, on the advice of my teacher i decided not to enter for the exam after contracting glandular fever hindered my progress in the subject. That's enough, don't say about doctors notes or crash courses.

    Honestly, they won't care about the ins & outs of it and it will probably just end up on a note that says "dropped- spanish AS due to illness" or even just "dropped spanish".
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    I hope we haven't done all this and it turns out she hasn't seen it and sent the orginal
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    (Original post by a_musical_gal)
    I hope we haven't done all this and it turns out she hasn't seen it and sent the orginal
    does it really matter? its all the same crap, just in a different context.
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    (Original post by ShOcKzZ)
    does it really matter? its all the same crap, just in a different context.
    Professional grammar makes all the difference. 79.
 
 
 
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