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    Hey,
    The other day, I was talking to my friends about uni and one of my friends started talking about meeting up and getting together over the weekends, I then chipped in, that I wasn't particulary fussed and that part of the whole uni experience is to meet new ppl and expand your horizons...She got really offended by this and started to rant that I was throwing away our friendship. I think I'm just being realistic...and since I'm going up north (Durham) and the most of my friends are going south, meeting up seems like a waste of time and money, if it is for just a weekend.
    Does anyone else think I'm being cruel having this attitude?

    JoKing.
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    (Original post by JoKing)
    Hey,
    The other day, I was talking to my friends about uni and one of my friends started talking about meeting up and getting together over the weekends, I then chipped in, that I wasn't particulary fussed and that part of the whole uni experience is to meet new ppl and expand your horizons...She got really offended by this and started to rant that I was throwing away our friendship. I think I'm just being realistic...and since I'm going up north (Durham) and the most of my friends are going south, meeting up seems like a waste of time and money, if it is for just a weekend.
    Does anyone else think I'm being cruel having this attitude?

    JoKing.
    not meeting your old mate becus of waste of money is just not right
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    (Original post by JoKing)
    Hey,
    The other day, I was talking to my friends about uni and one of my friends started talking about meeting up and getting together over the weekends, I then chipped in, that I wasn't particulary fussed and that part of the whole uni experience is to meet new ppl and expand your horizons...She got really offended by this and started to rant that I was throwing away our friendship. I think I'm just being realistic...and since I'm going up north (Durham) and the most of my friends are going south, meeting up seems like a waste of time and money, if it is for just a weekend.
    Does anyone else think I'm being cruel having this attitude?

    JoKing.
    There are other ways of keeping in touch, telecommunications, email, letters, etc.
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    its always good to keep in touch with friends, but if you live really far apart its not realistic to expect you to come home every weekend. But if they are really good friends, then it should be important for them and for you to stay in touch, which is what the phone is for .

    ur friends probably got upset coz it sounded like you were looking for their replacements at uni! but perhaps thats not what you meant, in which case its important to tell them how important they are to you.. that is.. if they are important to you!
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    if you are good enough mates you will keep in touch, if you think it's a waste of money you are in a pretty **** friendship group
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    Best way to keep in touch with old friends is through some instant messaging thing, means you can speak to them all and it is 'free'.
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    I think that you are very silly to think that you will forget your old friends and pretty selfish and I'm not surprised they would be upset. My 3 best friends from home have stayed in touch with me all through uni and we are still good mates now. And I am in touch with my uni mates. Email, post and the odd weekend drinking together is all thats needed to maintain a friendship its definitely worth the effort. otherwise you'll go home and find that you have no friends which isnt exactly pleasant.
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    I think your mate is hurt by the fact that you seemed not to be bothered with keeping in touch with them once you've gone to uni...and they may think that your friendship all these years hasn't been worth anything because you'll just forget about them once you're at uni.

    G
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    (Original post by sillynarb2)
    if you are good enough mates you will keep in touch, if you think it's a waste of money you are in a pretty **** friendship group
    Woooooooooooooo.. what an avatar!!!!!!!
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    (Original post by viviki)
    I think that you are very silly to think that you will forget your old friends and pretty selfish and I'm not surprised they would be upset. My 3 best friends from home have stayed in touch with me all through uni and we are still good mates now. And I am in touch with my uni mates. Email, post and the odd weekend drinking together is all thats needed to maintain a friendship its definitely worth the effort. otherwise you'll go home and find that you have no friends which isnt exactly pleasant.
    To stay friends doesn't mean that you have to stay in contact the whole time, I mean its been like 5 years since I left my old school, and I lost contact with some of my friends, but I like see them around and then we go out to the cinema and bowling and stuff...Unless she means she wants to speak to you everyday, in which case its up to you about what you do...but yeh, messenger is pretty good for that.
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    to be honest you sound like you were a tad incensitive. Its not that hard to keep in touch with your friends although granted it'll be a really long trip on the train you for.... Havn't you gone home to visit yourr parents? cos thats probably the best time to see your friends while you make a general visit back home.
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    (Original post by JoKing)
    Hey,
    The other day, I was talking to my friends about uni and one of my friends started talking about meeting up and getting together over the weekends, I then chipped in, that I wasn't particulary fussed and that part of the whole uni experience is to meet new ppl and expand your horizons...She got really offended by this and started to rant that I was throwing away our friendship. I think I'm just being realistic...and since I'm going up north (Durham) and the most of my friends are going south, meeting up seems like a waste of time and money, if it is for just a weekend.
    Does anyone else think I'm being cruel having this attitude?

    JoKing.
    I would say there are probably only 4-5 people who I keep in good contact with back home. I've only went to see one at loughbrough (which is nowhere near as good as Sheffield). My other friend is at Sheffield with me and all of the others are back at home so I see them when I'm back.

    I also think I have more in common with my university friends than I did with my friends back home. I think we are more open minded here.

    Adam
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    Ok...when I meant, waste of time, I meant that if I'm going for a weekend...it would be a waste of a trip. 6 hrs on train to London, so that's half a day's travelling...if I leave on like a saturday morning then I'll just have like sat afternoon, nite and sun morn before I have to get back...ready for monday. I didn't mean, its a waste of time to go see my friends...Also, I live in Channel Islands...and it's tough and exspensive getting back there for holidays...so I would probably stay with my uncle in Newcastle most of the time...therefore, i'd probably never see my friends when they go home etc.
    But maybe I was being a bit insensitive...

    JoKing.
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    (Original post by JoKing)
    Ok...when I meant, waste of time, I meant that if I'm going for a weekend...it would be a waste of a trip. 6 hrs on train to London, so that's half a day's travelling...if I leave on like a saturday morning then I'll just have like sat afternoon, nite and sun morn before I have to get back...ready for monday. I didn't mean, its a waste of time to go see my friends...Also, I live in Channel Islands...and it's tough and exspensive getting back there for holidays...so I would probably stay with my uncle in Newcastle most of the time...therefore, i'd probably never see my friends when they go home etc.
    But maybe I was being a bit insensitive...

    JoKing.
    Hell I'm only going to stay in touch with like 2 people from high school........ it's your choice no one here knows you so they cant answer your question....
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    I'm really against the notion of financial thriftyness as a student. I'm all for spending hedonistically and doing things you enjoy whilst you can. Sure, it may create a little debt, but that can be paid off once you get on that tedious "job ladder". The time to save money and watch one's finances is not now, but once one has a few more responsibilities

    Just my $0.02.
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    (Original post by JoKing)
    Hey,
    The other day, I was talking to my friends about uni and one of my friends started talking about meeting up and getting together over the weekends, I then chipped in, that I wasn't particulary fussed and that part of the whole uni experience is to meet new ppl and expand your horizons...She got really offended by this and started to rant that I was throwing away our friendship. I think I'm just being realistic...and since I'm going up north (Durham) and the most of my friends are going south, meeting up seems like a waste of time and money, if it is for just a weekend.
    Does anyone else think I'm being cruel having this attitude?

    JoKing.
    I might have that problem too. I'm hopefully going to Manchester whereas almost all my mates are staying in London. I'm coming back for summer holidays so hopefully we can all meet up, and I hope to keep in touch for sure. But I fear things might unfortunately fizzle out, we'll all be meeting new people and being busy and might not want the effort of remaining in touch. As hard as I insist to myself I won't let it happen, I know it could. I don't think it's cruel, I think it's cautious.
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    (Original post by XTinaA)
    I might have that problem too. I'm hopefully going to Manchester whereas almost all my mates are staying in London. I'm coming back for summer holidays so hopefully we can all meet up, and I hope to keep in touch for sure. But I fear things might unfortunately fizzle out, we'll all be meeting new people and being busy and might not want the effort of remaining in touch. As hard as I insist to myself I won't let it happen, I know it could. I don't think it's cruel, I think it's cautious.
    maybe we are different, for me, i would hate to lose contact with my best mates when im at uni--> sure we need to make new friends, but that surely doesnt mean giving up friendship with your best friends before at school, if so, that would be bizarre :eek:
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    (Original post by XTinaA)
    I might have that problem too. I'm hopefully going to Manchester whereas almost all my mates are staying in London. I'm coming back for summer holidays so hopefully we can all meet up, and I hope to keep in touch for sure. But I fear things might unfortunately fizzle out, we'll all be meeting new people and being busy and might not want the effort of remaining in touch. As hard as I insist to myself I won't let it happen, I know it could. I don't think it's cruel, I think it's cautious.
    I havent kept in touch with all my friends but I have with the good ones you dont have to see them that regularly but it doesnt take much to chat on messenger every now and then, email or write letters. I only see my uni mates about 4 times a year but cos we keep in touch regularly its easy to slip back into familiarity.
    It really doesnt take that much effort. One of my best mates now hes moved in with his girlf has practically completely cut all his friends off because he hasnt made the effort and I think he'll regret it strongly one day but that wont be our problem.
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    (Original post by TheWolf)
    maybe we are different, for me, i would hate to lose contact with my best mates when im at uni--> sure we need to make new friends, but that surely doesnt mean giving up friendship with your best friends before at school, if so, that would be bizarre :eek:
    Obviously I don't want to break from my friends, I love them all, but it could happen. Might speak to them on MSN and the phone and stuff, but I think (and in a way hope) that my new life is ultra-engaging...
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    hey
    well i spose also u could reach a comprimise, ure friends in london could meet u somewhere in the middle...shortening the travelling time and lowering the fare?
    it'd cool to go shopping in manchester or somewhere else in the middle of england...um nottingham? (my geography isn't too good!)
    it mite also be different for ure friend...she mite just be feeling insecure cos no1 else is going to london, but quite a few are going to durham...

    x
 
 
 
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