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Paranoid about getting pregnant

Sorry if I ramble a bit but here it goes. I am almost 21 and was a virgin until a few days ago. Basically I have stayed away from sex until now because I was so paranoid about getting pregnant. I felt like I shouldn't have sex until I was prepared to have a child. I guess because loads of my cousins were teenage parents, it seemed like sex was really risky and there was a big chance of getting pregnant (I know statistically there isn't if you use protection)

However like anyone else I always had urges, since I was as young as 12 because I went through puberty really early. When I was about 16 and all my friends were losing their virginity I didn't because I was so paranoid about getting pregnant. This last year or so I was getting really fed up of being a virgin. Not because of peer pressure, I just was sick of meeting guys, kissing them and never going any further. I felt like I was really missing out and I have spent years being the sensible one, the responsible one, basically I don't enjoy my life because I worry so much about everything and it holds me back.

I met a lovely guy the other night and just thought 'what the hell?' I had always said to myself I would never have a one night stand but I've never even had a boyfriend because I was so afraid of having sex. .I know it sounds a bit silly but I just wanted to know what sex was like, I have been wanting to do it for YEARS. I wanted to do it, he wanted to do it so we went ahead. I've been on the pill for 2 years for acne, and I made sure he used a condom and afterwards made sure it was still on and hadn't burst. Yet right now I am literally freaking out about being pregnant. I;ve heard stories about people who got pregnant even on the Pill, and I'm panicking because I have irritable bowel syndrome and maybe the pill didn't absorb properly, and didn't work, and maybe the condom didn't work either.

I feel like I should be punished for enjoying something and having the only moment of spontaneity and lack of judgement of my life. I feel like it's just my luck I will be that one person who gets pregnant their first time, despite using a condom AND the Pill. I couldn't have been more careful and still I am worried sick. I know I have a complex but I don't know what to do about it. I don't regret the sex, it's just the paranoia. I feel a bit sick and my belly hurts which normally I wouldn't really notice but now I'm convinced I'm pregnant. I considered getting the morning after pill in case but I thought it would do more harm than good considering I'm on the Pill and it would mess up my cycle completely. It's mostly the fear of disappointing my parents, I have always had so much pressure to be a good student, look after my siblings, clean the house......I don't think I've ever let them down. Once when I was sick in bed I got up and cleaned the kitchen so my mum didn't bawl at me when she came home. I feel like sex just isn't worth the worry, although logically I know it's ridiculous and I can't go through my whole life not doing it because of fear. Does anyone else know what I mean? I don't agree with abortion but having a baby right now would ruin my life.

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Reply 1

girl afraid

You are not pregnant. Usually after loosing your virginity, things hurt, and your period is late (though that won't apply to you). Go and see a doctor about your paranoia, it's not healthy.

Reply 2

Lauren Hart

I think its worth considering couselling for the paranoia, but it'll go away the more you have sex, because you'll realise you arent getting pregnant. And you're gonna feel ill if you're stressed about being pregnant!

can i ask, are your parents uber strict or religious? Because its like your punishing yourself for having a good time, which isnt really fair! youve been as sensible as you can be, so its very unlikely you'll get pregnant, though its worth talking to your doc about switching to the injection if your concerned your pill isnt being absorbed right. And just remember, even if you did get pregnant, only 1 in 10 survive and most of them die before you even know you was pregnant! I got really paranoid the first couple of time i had sex, we dont use a condom (i am on the pill though), which is somehting im trying to get out of the habit of doing, but its just so much more conveinient not to, which is really bad! So if anyone here "deserves" to get knocked up, its me!

So if you put the reliability of your protection to the 1/10 survived pregnancies, im sure you'll be just fine. but its worth maybe talking to a doctor about your paranoia, but you know its irrational. Im the same! but the more ive had sex, the less paranoid ive become. I would however suggest you wait for a more settled relationship in future. Because you dont seem to have too good a view on sex, but its really quite fun, especially when its because of love.

I hope you feel better about everything soon, im fairly certain you arent pregnant.

Reply 3

The Crow

i used to get paranoid about it cos i was scared to death that i would end up that way to be punished for being male and obviously a guy giving birth is very weird and unwanted thoughts :eek:

Reply 4

Fyska

Why not go on the implant? Of all the thousands of women who have used it, there's still not been a single case of pregnancy.

You can still take the pill while on it, so double protection, and if you're using a condom as well..

Reply 5

glisten

I wouldn't worry about it if I was you, chances of you falling pregnant are very very slim. When I lost my virginity, I was very paranoid about getting pregnant, even though me and my ex boyfriend used condoms and I was on the pill (still am, even though I'm not having sex at the moment). I used to always need to check the condom (probably every 5 minutes) during sex to make sure it hadn't split. Eventually, after afew months I got over it and stopped checking it so often. Result, better sex & I never fell pregnant :smile:

, try not to worry.

Reply 6

zav

Your not pregnant so have sex with this guy again and ENJOY yourself. You said u were always missing out good you have seen that now you can move on and have a nice happy heathy life in which you have loads of sex.

Reply 7

Redefined

Sounds like you have an obsessive compulsive disorder to me.

Feeling sick and your stomach hurting are probably a combination of mind tricks and worry.

Really, I think you should go to a doctor.

Good luck :smile:

Reply 8

Yuki Kashima

YOU ARE NOT PREGNANT!!! I've had 2 kids and i'm 22 and i've never been on the pill. Only times I got pregnant were when i didn't use contraception. Believe me being on the pill and using a condom is like 100% effective. You had a good time just get on with life and enjoy yourself. And see the guy again, get a boyfriend have more sex, and always remember to be careful! You said getting pregnant would ruin your life but it sounds like fearing it is ruining your life anyway...

I do think if this carries on you need to see someone about it. I still get paranoid all the time and always did but not to this extent.

Maybe if it's to do with your parents you should talk to them?

Reply 9

1013

Statistically, even if you use no contraception at all, odds of someone getting pregnant after one time are around 5-10%, so with the two methods you used, it would be very, very, very unlikely. Your fear of pregnancy is irrational. To bring out an old chestnut, do you worry about getting hit by a car every time you step out of your door? Because you are more likely to do so thst not get pregnant when using both the Pill and condom in conjunction.

Reply 10

mademoiselle84

try to think rationally hunny!!
i know how you feel though- when i was younger a whole family holiday was runined for me because i got so paranoid i was pregnant because they day before we left i had given my boyfriend a handjob (i was a virgin, and i hadn't even taken my jeans off) and i that some of his sperm had gone on my hand, and that when i went to the loo a few hours later, some could still be on my hand and get inside me when i wiped.....CRAZY!
anyways- i'm sure if you used condom and the pill then you have ZERO TO WORRY ABOUT!! you just have to put your faith in it- it's the only thing you can do! maybe you should consider the implant or as it's harder for it to go wrong- esp if you have IBS? there is literally so little chance you are pregnant if you did everything properly though.
i still sometimes worry if i'm pregnant- getting my period once a month is such a relief! but you can't let this paranoia ruin your life...it sounds like it's stopping you from doing normal activities for your age!!

Reply 11

username47781

YOu won't be pregnant because you both took the right precautions, you might be more relaxed about sex in a stable relationship

Reply 12

Anonymous #2

is it true that you can get pregnant by havin "dry sex" cos me and my bf did that but we were both wearing underwear. but apparently sperm can still get inside u :| and we didnt use protection

paranoidd!! xx

Reply 13

zav

Only if he has super sperm there is a thread on some girl who had dry sex in this forum somewhere and the general feeling was NO.
But it is actually possiable is it goes through ect but serious, you would have to be very unluckey i think 0.1% chance would be suitable.

Reply 14

Talya

All those years of psyching yourself up and telling yourself you would get pregnant if you had sex probably didn't help. Perhaps buy a test just to put your mind at ease. I never even thought about getting pregnant at all because I am a rational human being and realise the pill (now implant) will prevent me from getting pregnant. Perhaps go and read the manufacturers website for your pill to boost your confidence in it (I'm sure it will contain only praise for you pill)

Reply 15

rawkingpunkster

you had double protection, very unlikely ur pregnant.

go do a test if ur unsure. paranoia aint good :biggrin:

Reply 16

thecatsatonthemat

WOW me too! although my boyf only uses a condom, i'm not on the pill so i'm sooo paranoid! I know one of us would notice if it split, right? but still, my stomach is hurting and my breasts sore- i'm so scared- i hope tis just my perioid coming, shuould be next week... I should go on the pill but id never want my parents knowing...someone please reassure me! I'm SCARED! x

Reply 17

Helenia

thecatsatonthemat

How old are you? If you're over 16 then the doctors can't tell your parents. It's easy to get on and if you're getting this worried, the peace of mind is probably worth it.

Reply 18

thecatsatonthemat

I'm 16....do i have to go see the doc? And iis it fairly simple to take?

Reply 19

Helenia

thecatsatonthemat

I'm 16....do i have to go see the doc? And iis it fairly simple to take?

You either need to go to the doctor or your nearest family planning/Brook clinic, because you need a prescription for it. If you get given the combined pill, you need to take it at the same time every day for 21 days, then have a break for 7 days (but you'll still be protected against pregnancy) before starting the next pack. Whoever you go to see will give you more information. And if you go to the Family Planning Clinic you can get free condoms too!