What to do after a flatmate has attempted suicide

Hello all,

My flat mate attempted suicide when I was visiting home this weekend (my other room mate texted me saying that they were at the hospital and she was stable). I presume that they'll have returned to the flat after they are discharged, but I'm not entirely sure what the protocol is.

This person and I have never really seen eye to eye, though I would never wish depression and suicide on anyone. If we were close friends, then I'd have a better handle on what to do or say, but as it stands, I barely know this person.

What is an acceptable level of "help" to provide as a flat mate?

Reply 1

A future Midwife

I think you just need to make sure your flat mate knows that you're there for them! So if they need someone to talk to then they know that can talk to you. Just make sure you don't pressure them into talking about it or anything. I know after I attempted I didn't even tell my closest friends because I didn't want to even think about it. I felt ashamed and embarrassed an annoyed that I'd failed! I just wanted to go home and carry on like it had never happened! So maybe the best thing you could do is also pretend like nothing has happened! I guess it depends on what your flat mate is like! :smile:

This was posted from The Student Room's iPhone/iPad App

Reply 2

Tiger Rag

As someone who has been in this situation, I would have liked it if it wasn't mentioned all the time and it's better to act normal. That is, talk about what you'd normally talk about. But if she wants to talk about this, let her.

Don't make a big deal out of it. Ok, it is a big deal; but there's nothing worse than someone constantly reminding you about it. If she wants to talk about it, then let her.

I felt really embarrassed when it happened to me. (the police turned up) Not quite the way I really wanted my hallmates to find out what was going on...

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

OP here: Sorry for not responding back immediately!

Just to let you know how it's going: So it's been a week, and my flat mate seems to be doing so much better now. As I mentioned originally, I never really saw eye to eye with this flat mate, but after we started talking (just about things, Uni and such) we've started getting on a lot better.

I haven't brought the topic up at all with them, but we've agreed to study together for an hour or two a week (as per their suggestion actually) so I've had an excuse to add them on facebook just in case they need help with their "studies" or anything.

Reply 4

Tiger Rag

Glad to hear that everything seems to be ok. :smile:

(and sounds familiar)

Reply 5

Anonymous #2

Original post by Anonymous

Hi

Nice to hear things are ok so far.

Like a previous poster said, if she wants to talk about it, let her. Don't be judgmental. Just be patient and listen. But don't keep going on and on about it. Don't keep on bringing it up.

However, don't act like it's the elephant in the room. Your flatmate may not wanna talk about it, but don't act it didn't happen. She needs all the help and support she can get.

I've been in a similar situation. I am at uni now but when I was living with my parents I attempted suicide, and as soon as I felt symptoms I regretted it and went to hospital to be treated. I soon recovered, but only one close friend (who suffers from depression and has attempted in the past) knew as I confided in her, and a couple of members of staff at my school knew.

As much as my parents were devastated I felt as though they were really judgmental and held me in contempt and were unwilling to support me or understand me. So my advice to you is to support her as much as you can and don't be mean.

:smile:

Reply 6

Anonymous #2

Good to hear she's okay though :smile:

Reply 7

redferry

Original post by Anonymous

In the first instance show concern and let them know you care, then leave it as if it didn't happen unless they brought it up, odds are they wont want to be reminded of it or treated differently