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teen pregnancy

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LadyFadge
Just want to join!
In Febuary i found out that i was two months pregnant. I went to a clinic to talk about my options with my fiance and found out i was three not two.
On Wednesday last week i wen through with an abortion because i couldnt have a child neither could i give it away.
I am sorry that i did it now, but at the end of the day i am only 18! My parents didnt know and i was stuck with only my fiance to talk to. I did what i thought he wanted and what i thought we needed as a couple!

Does that make me a B***H?


Personally, I think you did the right thing and I applaud you for doing it. It's a hard decision to make, but I can't see myself doing anything but that in your situation.

I doubt that I would be able to raise a child before the age of something like 24, even if I was in a stable relationship. Being very ambitious and a touch careerist, having a child would mean that it would not take first place in my life and that is something I would not wish to any. Once I'm settled, with a degree and a comfortable job, once then can I feasibly have children. They also grow up in a better environment and I would have the time to place them first and more life experience to raise them well.

A little ramble. Sigh.
Reply 81
Avatar for Amy
Amy
OP
13
suz19
Not at all. I would be terrified of telling my parents that I'd been having sex, let alone that I was pregnant! I'm sure if I found out that I was pregnant it was cross my mind that by having an abortion, my parents would never need to find out. It must have been a hard decision for you to make though.
my mums always said to me if i ever got preggers i would tell her, she said she would be more pissed off with me if i didnt tell her than if i did
LadyFadge
Yeah it wasnt my first choice though! But i wasnt bullied into it either. My fiance tended to drop hints into things that we were doing, by saying if we had a baby we would not be able to do it!

Its saved a lot of heart ache and anger in the long run but i am hurting in more ways than one now! And he has gone back to Uni and i feel so alone
how often do u see him now that he is at uni?

im so glad that u went thru this in a good sense tho. not a quickie resultin in pregnancy then abortion shop the next day.

it was talked about, decided and most of all u still have ur partner. u can have children late ron in life wne u both feel ready

:smile:
Reply 83
Avatar for suz19
suz19
LadyFadge
Yeah it wasnt my first choice though! But i wasnt bullied into it either. My fiance tended to drop hints into things that we were doing, by saying if we had a baby we would not be able to do it!

Its saved a lot of heart ache and anger in the long run but i am hurting in more ways than one now! And he has gone back to Uni and i feel so alone


:frown: It must be hard being put into a situation like that- it basically means that if you'd have had the baby, you may have ended up a single mum which is daunting at any age let alone 18/19. Do you resent him a bit about it? I'd imagine it's a hard thing to get over but even harder if you weren't 100% in agreement.
~*glitter*~
my mums always said to me if i ever got preggers i would tell her, she said she would be more pissed off with me if i didnt tell her than if i did


Well, my mother's of the opinion that if I have sex before marriage, she'll refuse to ever speak to me again...

:rolleyes:

It's quite difficult, when you have parents like mine. Sigh.
deianra
Well, my mother's of the opinion that if I have sex before marriage, she'll refuse to ever speak to me again...

:rolleyes:

It's quite difficult, when you have parents like mine. Sigh.
but u r havin sex rnt u...?
Reply 86
Avatar for suz19
suz19
~*glitter*~
my mums always said to me if i ever got preggers i would tell her, she said she would be more pissed off with me if i didnt tell her than if i did


My mum would probably be hurt if she found out that I hadn't told her but she would never find out anyway. My family are Catholics. My grandad for one would never forgive me. I just hope I never have to make that decision and feel really sorry for people who do/have, especially if they were taking precautions.
lumpycustard
but u r havin sex rnt u...?
oh god sorry! ur avator looks lke someone else i didnt mean u! sorry!
lumpycustard
but u r havin sex rnt u...?


Not yet. I'm barely 16. Though at 14, I was in a relationship where I was prepared to. With hindsight, I feel that it was definitely too young but it did feel so right. I refuse to sleep with someone who I don't love and I don't think I've found the right person yet. There's a hopeful someone though :smile:
Reply 89
Avatar for Amy
Amy
OP
13
deianra
Well, my mother's of the opinion that if I have sex before marriage, she'll refuse to ever speak to me again...

:rolleyes:

It's quite difficult, when you have parents like mine. Sigh.
i think its always good to have parental support in all u do not just pregnancy, it gives u a sense of acceptance i think, to me people like ur mum are only diggin ur grave for u cus ur only gonna do the exact opposite of what they tell u, u need to learn what life is about through experience not just what people tell u ( i know what im talkin about!!)
lumpycustard
oh god sorry! ur avator looks lke someone else i didnt mean u! sorry!


Really? I haven't seen anyone with a similar avatar. I want to know who they are! No worries though.

Here I was thinking my sleeping owl was fairly unique... :biggrin:
~*glitter*~
i think its always good to have parental support in all u do not just pregnancy, it gives u a sense of acceptance i think, to me people like ur mum are only diggin ur grave for u cus ur only gonna do the exact opposite of what they tell u, u need to learn what life is about through experience not just what people tell u ( i know what im talkin about!!)
i feel for those who do not have their parents to fall on to for support, esp at times they need it
~*glitter*~
i think its always good to have parental support in all u do not just pregnancy, it gives u a sense of acceptance i think, to me people like ur mum are only diggin ur grave for u cus ur only gonna do the exact opposite of what they tell u, u need to learn what life is about through experience not just what people tell u ( i know what im talkin about!!)


I agree completely. I've always believed that you should try everything at least once to gain experience. But when you can't have parental support and the experience is quite useful among other things, it's up to me to learn through my experience even if it means going against my parents.
Reply 93
Avatar for Amy
Amy
OP
13
suz19
My mum would probably be hurt if she found out that I hadn't told her but she would never find out anyway. My family are Catholics. My grandad for one would never forgive me. I just hope I never have to make that decision and feel really sorry for people who do/have, especially if they were taking precautions.
of course they would be disappointed for me, but they know that i have the sense to take the right precautions when it comes to it, to me, parents should love u unconditionally
deianra
Really? I haven't seen anyone with a similar avatar. I want to know who they are! No worries though.

Here I was thinking my sleeping owl was fairly unique... :biggrin:
no not the owl, the colours r similar lol and i just mistook it. im a dumbass
lumpycustard
no not the owl, the colours r similar lol and i just mistook it. im a dumbass


Even the best of us make the silliest mistakes :tongue:
Reply 96
Avatar for Amb1
Amb1
1
LadyFadge
Yeah it wasnt my first choice though! But i wasnt bullied into it either. My fiance tended to drop hints into things that we were doing, by saying if we had a baby we would not be able to do it!

Its saved a lot of heart ache and anger in the long run but i am hurting in more ways than one now! And he has gone back to Uni and i feel so alone

You've made this decision based on what's best for you and your fiance. So now you need to make the most of what you have and make sure you do the things that you wouldn't be able to do if you had decided not to have an abortion. Make sure both of you spend time getting over this. All the best...
Reply 97
Avatar for Amy
Amy
OP
13
deianra
I agree completely. I've always believed that you should try everything at least once to gain experience. But when you can't have parental support and the experience is quite useful among other things, it's up to me to learn through my experience even if it means going against my parents.
do u ever feel like rebeling?
deianra
the silliest mistakes :tongue:


always me :rolleyes:
Reply 99
Avatar for suz19
suz19
~*glitter*~
of course they would be disappointed for me, but they know that i have the sense to take the right precautions when it comes to it, to me, parents should love u unconditionally


My parents do love me unconditionally and they would never ever turn their backs on me, I know that for sure. But I just know that having sex/getting pregnant/especially having an abortion, would hurt them so much. I don't ever want to hurt them. But I know they'd be there for me and I suppose that's what counts.

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