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Do high school relationships last through uni? Watch

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    (Original post by Aspiring Medic 7)
    I guess you're right, depends how strong it is in the first place...

    Do you guys think there's much point holding on to a relationship when you go to uni? Is it better just to break it off before and have fun at uni, saves the hurt later on?

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    They can.....but it's really rare. Most of the ones I've seen eventually end in heartbreak, usually in the first year. Sadly, the biggest 'success story' I know if is a guy who managed it into fourth year before his high-school gf cheated on him with someone at her uni. I've read about ones that do actually work online though, so I guess they exist. :dontknow:

    I'd say a good rule of thumb is - if you have any doubts about whether its worth it, don't bother. It's takes ridiculous amounts of trust, confidence, patience and strength. You need to be one hundred percent dedicated, otherwise just don't put yourself through it.
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    It's definitely possible, I know at least three couples who have been together since high school and stayed together through uni. I think it depends on how mature you both are, how strong the relationship is and how much effort you're both willing to make.
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    (Original post by Aspiring Medic 7)

    What do you guys think and what are your experiences??

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    Well, my relationship ended the summer before 3rd year as our post-uni plans no longer corresponded... it was hard throughout but there was a benifit in being able to love someone but also work whenever!

    Of my friends... 4 relationships ended and 3 are surviving... If you are people who are likely to keep your values, make friends that your partner will get on well with and are willing to hope for a future then you stand a far better chance of the relationship working.

    Its hard to accept that someone is experiencing a huge and new part of their life without you, and vice versa, but it is worth a try... even though for me it was not to be...
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    2 of my best friends are still going out since S4 and they're now in third year of uni and second year of uni respectively. So it can work.
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    It all depends on the individuals i suppose...

    Me and my boyfriend split up when he went to University in Nottingham (were from Newcastle) after a week of being there, even though we were dating nearly a year. Personally I think it was for the best its fair he had his freedom and got to do everything the average fresher would, and by this i don't just mean sleeping around but having no worries or guilt for anything.. and last but least no skype calls to endure every night etc.
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    Never.
    Either they break up OR
    they split, someone goes out and screws someone else, then they get back together.

    I have seen this happen so many times it just has to be a universal truth.
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    Me and my boyfriend are doing just fine at the minute :dontknow:

    However, I'm quite lucky. He goes to uni that's just over an hour's drive away and I can see him every other weekend. We talk every day, and communication is key.
    Trust isn't an issue either. I've been to see him so often, I know most of his uni friends and know I haven't got anything to worry about.

    Granted, the situation will be different next year when I go to uni (currently on a gap year) that will be about 6/7 hours away from him.. but we're going to aim to see each other every three weeks. To be honest, I've found that time has absolutely flown by this year. It took a bit of getting used to, going from seeing each other every day to seeing each other every other week, but we've both grown used to it.

    So, yeah. We've only been in an LDR since September and although I'm not saying it's definitely going to work out in the long run, we've come across no major issues thus far. In fact, it's been far easier than either of us could have imagined.
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    I'm in my 3rd year and still with my college girlfriend. She's 3-4 hours away by train at uni, but we manage to see each other every 3 weeks or so, and obviously we live very nearby if we're home for holidays. We're still going strong and she's quite possibly moving up here next year
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    Yeah, still with my gf from college (16-18) and we've been at different unis, about an hour and a quarter away from each other. We also managed last year when I was on a year abroad in France, though it was difficult.

    I'm now a couple of months from graduation and moving down to where she is next year (her course is 5 years) so it's looking pretty certain we'll make it now

    Ultimately if it's meant to be you'll work out ways to make it work but it's certainly unusual for people to make it I think.
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    I am in my fourth year of uni, and have been in an LDR (both at uni) relationship which began in Y13 for the duration. Our relationship goes from strength to strength and there is very little now that I can imagine stopping us from going on to settle down together after uni. It is not a difficult relationship, there is no huge strain, and neither of us are deprived of anything other than a little travel money. I can't say that from the start I have been 100% dedicated, either - we took things as they came, and as it happens they went well.

    Each year of this very successful relationship people on this site have scorned, saying that it is only a matter of time until the relationship fails, and each year they are wrong.

    People forget that relationships are hit-and-miss and a large proportion of all relationships do not last beyond a few years. For some reason, if university or a distance is involved, this takes exclusive blame for the fact that many relationships end - but relationships are more complex than this. Substitute "university" for "the passage of time" in the sentence "______ breaks couples up", and suddenly you'll be thinking no **** sherlock.
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    My bf is currently in his third year of uni, and i'm in my first, and going to celebrate our third anniversary soon (started going out when he was in Year 13 and i was in Year 11). so it does work
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    (Original post by Jimbo1234)
    Never.
    Either they break up OR
    they split, someone goes out and screws someone else, then they get back together.

    I have seen this happen so many times it just has to be a universal truth.
    Some of them do last, me and my girlfriend survived uni 3 hours apart without any drama.
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    Yes, they certainly can last through the strains of long distance. My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years now, 1.5 of which have had to be long distance (due to the fact that he's at a university 2.5hrs away) and although it can be difficult to adjust to these changes, from seeing each other literally every single day to seeing each other almost exclusively on holidays, it really is worth it if you both make the effort to stay together. It also helps if both parties are on demanding courses, it keeps the mind occupied so there's none of this 'you have no time for me' whining because I won't pretend I have as much time for him as I used to either. Speaking as a witness of many other long distance relationships, I honestly think there are two main reasons why some do not endure: 1) they were not together long enough before the switch to long distance to form a strong bond of trust. The worst thing you can do to a long distance relationship is flood it with paranoid thoughts which are exacerbated by 2) if one person is doing a course that means they have more free time than the other and are constantly partying - it would take a very strong person to grow at least a little insecure and even the partying person would have to stay strong to resist going with someone that might give them more of their time.

    I think what I mean to say is that yes, although it can last through university it does depend on a number of factors which are largely circumstantial (assuming that some are sensible and wholeheartedly want to stay together). If you make time for each other a few times a week for Skype, and text every day or put time into playing an online game together it can keep the relationship exciting, which is one of the hardest things to do when things go long distance - time management is crucial. I realise that in my case 2.5hrs away isn't tragic but neither of us have the time to visit each other during term for the most part (I have deadlines literally every single day, pfft...) and in that respect we have both agreed to try to be sensible about it and understand that education, at least for now, is the most important thing, but this again could be attributed to the fact that we had been together long enough before long distance to have the wild, passionate fairytale love before 'coming to our senses' a little, haha. Even though we don't see each other enough in person I feel like I am still very close to him and still know him despite the slight changes in his personality, simply because we really make the effort to stay in contact throughout the day.

    I understand why people are sceptical about going long distance, it can be a daunting thought, and I understand why onlookers would dismiss the idea of a long distance relationship lasting but I don't believe it should be dismissed entirely just because it is what it is. It's not ideal, and I won't pretend I wasn't scared of the thought myself but I'm happy I am now able to speak from experience and offer a ray of hope for those considering it. Try it, maybe it will work for you! I know that at least for me, it's a better arrangement as I honestly don't think I'd have the time to meet someone new, go on dates and go through the entire process if I hadn't already been in a relationship.
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    Me and my boyfriend will be celebrating 2 years together in May and the relationship started when I was in year 11 and he was in year 13, he's now in his second year of Uni

    We talk every night and see each other every 2 weeks and its worked fine for us.


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    how long you are together for before it becomes long distance is probably a factor
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    Me and my fella will be celebrating 3 years together in June this year. Im in 2nd year so is he. We've been together since I was 16 and he was 17^.^

    This was posted from The Student Room's Android App on my MB526
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    Some do. Most don't.
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    One of my cousins hung onto to her 'school' boyfriend all through her 1st & 2nd Year. He came up at weekends or she went 'home'. As a result, she made no real friends at Uni, and those she did regarded Boyfriend as a p-in-the-a as they had nothing in common with him and he kept trying to drag the conversation away from about 'their' Uni to his tedious little job at 'home'. In the end they seemed to spend their entire weekends rowing about 'her friends' or her being bored mindless with him 'at home'.

    She dumped him in her last summer holiday. And now realises what a total time waste he was. Once she moved to Uni, they lost the one thing they had in common - school. She's just married a Canadian bloke she met in 3rd year when he was doing an Exchange Year - someone a great deal more interesting and ambitious than the boring bloke from school.
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    Me and my boyfriend have been together since we were 14, I'm in my first year at uni now while he's retaking a year at college at home over 4 hours away. He comes and visits when he has half term and I go home whenever I have time off uni, other than that we stay in contact through phone calls and skype. It was really hard at first but it's gotten a lot easier as we've gotten used to it, we both know it's not ideal but it's better than not being together.

    My friends who've met him when he's been down have said how much they like him so that's nice Obviously it's fairly early on so I can't say it'll definitely work out but I can't see why it wouldn't at the moment and I really can't imagine not being with him so I hope it does aha. Next year he'll be at uni only an hour away so it should get easier (:
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    Mine didn't & ended very messy. If you can afford to see eachother more than once a month then give it a go.. Also, facebook is a killer.

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