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    Two of my best friends have been together for over 3 years, but broke up last weekend as they have been drifting apart... I find myself with two problems.

    1) Both being very good friends, I'm finding it difficult to keep "neutral" and support them both through what it is a difficult time for them at the moment. I don't exactly want to go all, "Think about what this is doing to me!" on them, because this is about them after all, but has anyone been in a similar situation and succeeded in keeping them both above water and happy? I feel like the middle man and it's excruciating...

    And 2) Should I TRY and keep them both happy? On Saturday night, the guy hinted that he may have cheated on her in the past couple of weeks, (before they had the conversation that ended their relationship), and I'm really very torn over whether to tell her or not. I HATE keeping secrets from my friends, but I fear that if she finds out, it'll destroy her. And then if she finds out if I knew all along, that might be the end of our friendship. And I don't want that!

    So yeah... Any help right now would be great... Frankly, I don't know who to ask anyone in the rest of my friendship group because I don't know who knows what and I fear I might drop a bombshell... Which wouldn't be good!

    Thanks...
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Two of my best friends have been together for over 3 years, but broke up last weekend as they have been drifting apart... I find myself with two problems.

    1) Both being very good friends, I'm finding it difficult to keep "neutral" and support them both through what it is a difficult time for them at the moment. I don't exactly want to go all, "Think about what this is doing to me!" on them, because this is about them after all, but has anyone been in a similar situation and succeeded in keeping them both above water and happy? I feel like the middle man and it's excruciating...

    And 2) Should I TRY and keep them both happy? On Saturday night, the guy hinted that he may have cheated on her in the past couple of weeks, (before they had the conversation that ended their relationship), and I'm really very torn over whether to tell her or not. I HATE keeping secrets from my friends, but I fear that if she finds out, it'll destroy her. And then if she finds out if I knew all along, that might be the end of our friendship. And I don't want that!

    So yeah... Any help right now would be great... Frankly, I don't know who to ask anyone in the rest of my friendship group because I don't know who knows what and I fear I might drop a bombshell... Which wouldn't be good!

    Thanks...
    1) I've been in a similar situation to this twice. With ample heaps of honestly, compassion and nonjudgement it is possible to remain friends with both parties. Assuming of course your friends are generally nice and understanding people and don't actively force you into chosing, they'll probably get that you don't want to take sides. Just make sure you don't join in *****ing about one person to the other or anything like that, because it will get back to them and then you're in trouble. Offer a shoulder to cry on and a sympathetic ear, but refrain from involving yourself.

    2) Nah, leave it. If you knew for a fact that he had cheated then this might be a different situation, but causing so much grief over a 'may' is unnecessary. Especially when they aren't even dating anymore. That you don't know for certain is more than enough reason for not sharing, should she ever ask you in the future.
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    • Thread Starter
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    Thankyou very much Sound advice
 
 
 
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