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Do you see a future with your other half? Watch

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    I do and I don't.

    I do because we both get on really well and have been quite happy for the last 8 months together, we both like the same things and I'm moving home after uni hoping to get a job that will take me in the general direction of the career I want and then work towards that. We also both want a relationship with each other now and to work towards our careers, but no serious commitment like moving in together or kids or anything (yet!).

    However I don't as well, because, I've lived in the city away from home for 3 years, it's opened my eyes to so many opportunities and other places I could go to pursue my career. I never thought that at 20/21 I would be in a relationship and prepared to move home to work and have a relationship. I thought I'd live in lots of different places, meet lots of new people and have a 'professional' kind of life.

    I've put our relationship first (over all the other things I wanted to do like go and work abroad this summer, do an alps season) because I know that it wouldn't be fair for me to leave him for 3 months and still expect him to be with me.

    But I'm happy with how it is now. I can see us together for now, I love him and want to be with him.

    *Edit
    Also, I know 8 months isn't long and anything could happen. But for now I do want to be with him and am happy with what I've got planned. I think he sees it as long-term. I just feel like if I wasn't with him, I'd be able to do all the things I thought I would do as I've mentioned above.
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    It just depends on your relationship dynamic.

    My partner and I will have been 5 years in May. During that time, I have finished high school, worked full time, moved 5 times, one time we were in an LDR, and he's supporting me now I've gone to uni.
    We will be getting married on our 6 year anniversary, already have mortgage together etc.

    If you guys are compatible, then it's just a matter of talking about it. If you want to, you'll work something out. I did an apprenticeship and learned fencing, abseiling etc. There's nothing to stop you doing new experiences while together.
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    Just because you're with someone doesn't mean you can't live a little!
    I've been with my bf for over a year now and I love him to pieces but being in an LDR and being so young means I'm not ready for anything more serious.
    Take opportunities (I'll be in a diff uni to him next year) and just live life
    If it's meant to be it will work out no matter what you choose to do
    Though to answer your question, yes I do see a future with him but that's just it - a future - nothing more serious in the present :')
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    Well sure why not?

    If the reasons you are together isn't silly then sure life should be glee
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    i dont think so anymore.
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    I do...but not as we are now, i see us having a future when we've both grown up a little bit and the relationships stronger...which will of course happen in the future.
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    Yes, but we're very lucky that life post uni has facilitated this very well, whereas I know others who are in LDRs aren't can't see the light at the end of the tunnel of being in the same location again due to jobs.
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    (Original post by BabyGirl92)
    I do and I don't.

    I do because we both get on really well and have been quite happy for the last 8 months together, we both like the same things and I'm moving home after uni hoping to get a job that will take me in the general direction of the career I want and then work towards that. We also both want a relationship with each other now and to work towards our careers, but no serious commitment like moving in together or kids or anything (yet!).

    However I don't as well, because, I've lived in the city away from home for 3 years, it's opened my eyes to so many opportunities and other places I could go to pursue my career. I never thought that at 20/21 I would be in a relationship and prepared to move home to work and have a relationship. I thought I'd live in lots of different places, meet lots of new people and have a 'professional' kind of life.

    I've put our relationship first (over all the other things I wanted to do like go and work abroad this summer, do an alps season) because I know that it wouldn't be fair for me to leave him for 3 months and still expect him to be with me.

    But I'm happy with how it is now. I can see us together for now, I love him and want to be with him.

    *Edit
    Also, I know 8 months isn't long and anything could happen. But for now I do want to be with him and am happy with what I've got planned. I think he sees it as long-term. I just feel like if I wasn't with him, I'd be able to do all the things I thought I would do as I've mentioned above.
    Do what makes you happy. My girlfriend is like this, she wants to live abroad too when she graduates and I find it difficult to get my head round, because I think that graduation is when your real life begins and you have to earn your money and carve out a career. Maybe its just me and my big male ego, because I want to be successful in the future and have a good life but the opportunity to work abroad and have a successful career simultaneously arises only to a very few select people.

    Sometimes it can be difficult to see ahead. Like its easy to say 'I want to live abroad' but very difficult to carve out a career while hopping country to country and when you have financial responsibility for yourself I think you'll find it less desirable to earn less money country hopping than stay in one place and create a career, earn promotions and get paid well for what you do.

    From a relationship standpoint, the worst thing my girlfriend did was make me feel like I was worthless because she made me feel like I was worth less to her than an opportunity to go abroad. Comparing the worth of anything which is not human to someone who is is just a big no no for me, because I value human relationships over everything else. I can't enjoy my life without my friends, family and girlfriend, but for some reason she would be willing to give up friends, family and boyfriend for a foreign country shes never been to? Doesn't exactly make you feel valued.

    So my advice is to keep an open mind, and never de value your relationship by acting as if its dispensable towards your boyfriend. Do what makes you happy, and if it means staying with your boyfriend then don't be too stubborn to admit it to yourself. You aren't a lesser human being because your happiness is linked to your relationship. I appreciate my girlfriend more because she could swallow her pride and admit that she'd hurt me by acting as if the relationship was disposable and that she felt the same way and didn't want to go abroad. She made the decision on her own for the right reasons, and thats what you should do.
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    What I'm saying is career reasons and going abroad etc that I probably would have just gone for if I was single, however being in a relationship and I'm happy in it I have to consider what going abroad would do to my relationship so obviously I'm not going abroad or anything like that.
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    (Original post by theguv92)
    Do what makes you happy. My girlfriend is like this, she wants to live abroad too when she graduates and I find it difficult to get my head round, because I think that graduation is when your real life begins and you have to earn your money and carve out a career. Maybe its just me and my big male ego, because I want to be successful in the future and have a good life but the opportunity to work abroad and have a successful career simultaneously arises only to a very few select people.

    Sometimes it can be difficult to see ahead. Like its easy to say 'I want to live abroad' but very difficult to carve out a career while hopping country to country and when you have financial responsibility for yourself I think you'll find it less desirable to earn less money country hopping than stay in one place and create a career, earn promotions and get paid well for what you do.

    From a relationship standpoint, the worst thing my girlfriend did was make me feel like I was worthless because she made me feel like I was worth less to her than an opportunity to go abroad. Comparing the worth of anything which is not human to someone who is is just a big no no for me, because I value human relationships over everything else. I can't enjoy my life without my friends, family and girlfriend, but for some reason she would be willing to give up friends, family and boyfriend for a foreign country shes never been to? Doesn't exactly make you feel valued.

    So my advice is to keep an open mind, and never de value your relationship by acting as if its dispensable towards your boyfriend. Do what makes you happy, and if it means staying with your boyfriend then don't be too stubborn to admit it to yourself. You aren't a lesser human being because your happiness is linked to your relationship. I appreciate my girlfriend more because she could swallow her pride and admit that she'd hurt me by acting as if the relationship was disposable and that she felt the same way and didn't want to go abroad. She made the decision on her own for the right reasons, and thats what you should do.
    Thanks for the advice. I know what you mean, I would never want to make him feel like he's less important than the opportunity to work abroad or anything like that. He is SO important to me. I know I'm making the right decision by moving home because I want to be with him and I can work towards my chosen career whilst living at home.

    I want our relationship to be proper, since for the last 6 months I've been in uni and only seen him on the weekends. I want to work and have a life with him, and my family and friends at home.

    If I wasn't with him though, I would be more open to moving places.. which is what I always thought I would do. But for now I am happy and I'm sure I'll continue to be happy once I am home for good and working towards my career.
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    (Original post by BabyGirl92)
    Thanks for the advice. I know what you mean, I would never want to make him feel like he's less important than the opportunity to work abroad or anything like that. He is SO important to me. I know I'm making the right decision by moving home because I want to be with him and I can work towards my chosen career whilst living at home.

    I want our relationship to be proper, since for the last 6 months I've been in uni and only seen him on the weekends. I want to work and have a life with him, and my family and friends at home.

    If I wasn't with him though, I would be more open to moving places.. which is what I always thought I would do. But for now I am happy and I'm sure I'll continue to be happy once I am home for good and working towards my career.
    I'm sure you are. I guess you kind of have to earn it, we're at about 18 months right now and because we've been together a long time there is room for compromise. When we graduate, we plan to move to London and she wants to work in the Foreign Office, so she gets to get her 'abroad' kicks whilst being based where I am. I'm totally fine with this, and I'm sure your boyfriend will be more than happy to let you do what you want and work out a compromise. Good luck!
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    I'm young to even be thinking seriously about living with my boyfriend, starting a family etc, but I'm not the type of person to just "date" someone without thinking there's potential that you'll last a very long time with them. I'm very happy with my boyfriend and our relationship is really great, and if that continues then I'd like to think we'll eventually end up growing up together, experiencing life together etc. I'd like that. I do see a future with him, but whether that becomes reality only time will tell I guess.

    No harm in hoping!
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    (Original post by Quilt)
    I'm young to even be thinking seriously about living with my boyfriend, starting a family etc, but I'm not the type of person to just "date" someone without thinking there's potential that you'll last a very long time with them. I'm very happy with my boyfriend and our relationship is really great, and if that continues then I'd like to think we'll eventually end up growing up together, experiencing life together etc. I'd like that. I do see a future with him, but whether that becomes reality only time will tell I guess.

    No harm in hoping!
    I'm hoping that if we're still together and I have to move for my career, this wouldn't be for another few years, that he might move with me. He is a barista/manager so can basically work wherever there is jobs going in the area. Then again, if his job required him to stay where we are (say if he became a manager of a store around here), I would totally respect that and try and try and find as good a job as I can where we are.

    I'm not expecting him to like move away with me now or anything! To be honest I just want to see how our relationship goes when we move back home, but I also want a career so it's hard. I don't want to settle for any job like retail, catering etc. (And that is no reflection on people who work in those kind of jobs, I've done them, but it's not what I want a career in!)
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    Forgive me for leading this discussion elsewhere. But, I think this is how many relationships crumble. Planning ahead is generally good.
    However, in a relationship circumstance I believe it's best to live in the moment (This mainly applies for newly formed relationships). Talking and thinking about the future can be daunting and cause anxieties.
    Not only this, but it may ignite high-expectations. It's obviously different if you're married or engaged and have decided for sure (hopefully) that this is the person you want to spend the rest if your life with. In which case, plan away!
    There is a Latin phrase - Carpe Diem- which translates to - Seize the day. I think in relationships and to be frank, in every day life, this phrase should be actioned. Living in the moment will make you appreciate your partner and life much more. You'll be a happier person. Over-thinking/thinking-ahead causes headaches and un-necessary decisions to be made. I think there is obviously a time within a relationship where the future should be discussed. But, for you new couples out there; Sit back and enjoy for a while!

    Answering the question at hand... Yes, I do see a future with my girlfriend. We've been together for a while, we're in a serious relationship and I really love her. We've not deeply discussed the future. But, I think it looks promising





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    Considering we just got engaged, yeah I do
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    (Original post by -strawberry-)
    Considering we just got engaged, yeah I do
    Aah congratulations

    That's like my fantasy aha, bit early for all that yet though :P
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    (Original post by BabyGirl92)
    Aah congratulations

    That's like my fantasy aha, bit early for all that yet though :P
    Thank you Well I'm only 18 haha!
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    (Original post by -strawberry-)
    Thank you Well I'm only 18 haha!
    Aww well, I'm 21 but can't imagine getting engaged now :P but good for you as long as you're happy
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    Yeah, but I don't like planning ahead like that. Freaks me out a bit. She's defo marriage material though.
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    I do because we are pretty much best friends and I could not wish for a better boyfriend or relationship

    I don't because I don't know where our lives are going to take us and I am reluctant to sacrifice career/life options for a relationship that has every chance of breaking down later in life anyway.

    Just taking it a day at a time.
 
 
 
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