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Apparently i'm just a tease with a conscience Watch

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    I've been on 5 quite expensive dates with this guy who i met while i was working in a shop but i ran into him on a night out about a month ago and i kissed him while i was drunk. Now he's an absolutely lovely guy but i just don't find myself attracted to him physically at all, but because i kissed him on the night out i've been making out with him after every date and also because i feel like he's spent so much money and he's nice.

    I'm finding it quite hard to pack him in cos i've been sending him all the wrong signals so far, shall i stick it out and see if attraction develops or should i do him a favour (and save him some money) and just tell him i don't fancy him?

    But if i tell him i dont fancy him, he'll wonder why i've been making out with him.. I feel bad already but i'd like to redeem myself a bit
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I've been on 5 quite expensive dates with this guy who i met while i was working in a shop but i ran into him on a night out about a month ago and i kissed him while i was drunk. Now he's an absolutely lovely guy but i just don't find myself attracted to him physically at all, but because i kissed him on the night out i've been making out with him after every date and also because i feel like he's spent so much money and he's nice.

    I'm finding it quite hard to pack him in cos i've been sending him all the wrong signals so far, shall i stick it out and see if attraction develops or should i do him a favour (and save him some money) and just tell him i don't fancy him?

    But if i tell him i dont fancy him, he'll wonder why i've been making out with him.. I feel bad already but i'd like to redeem myself a bit
    I think you should just be honest and tell him and also stop these dates, there is no point stringing someone along if you are just not attracted to them
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    (Original post by Rock Fan)
    I think you should just be honest and tell him and also stop these dates, there is no point stringing someone along if you are just not attracted to them
    i just feel like i should try a bit harder cos he really does like me and puts in all this effort, besides i don't know how to explain all the making out
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    You aren't attracted to him and you can't force it. It'll suck for both of you(admittedly him more) but just let him down gently. Say you just aren't feeling it anymore. Stop before he spends more money and you seem like more of a tease.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I've been on 5 quite expensive dates with this guy who i met while i was working in a shop but i ran into him on a night out about a month ago and i kissed him while i was drunk. Now he's an absolutely lovely guy but i just don't find myself attracted to him physically at all, but because i kissed him on the night out i've been making out with him after every date and also because i feel like he's spent so much money and he's nice.

    I'm finding it quite hard to pack him in cos i've been sending him all the wrong signals so far, shall i stick it out and see if attraction develops or should i do him a favour (and save him some money) and just tell him i don't fancy him?

    But if i tell him i dont fancy him, he'll wonder why i've been making out with him.. I feel bad already but i'd like to redeem myself a bit

    congratulations on setting feminism back 50 years

    you are the cancer of society

    Not only have you wasted his money and strung him along, he's also probably going to be quite hurt emotionally, because you gave all the wrong signals and led him on.

    There is no redemption here - you have done something shameful and should feel nothing but guilt.
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    Im sorry but I agree with the post above ^ I would feel so let down and depressed after finding out all my dates with you didn't really impact you in the same way. Why kiss me if you don't find me attractive? Why lead me on for so long. Best thing to do is to tell him before it gets worse
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    ^^^ Right because it's okay to guilt someone into liking you by taking them on expensive dates...

    Just tell him it's not working out for you, never ever waste your time trying to like someone as you will regret it if they end up hurting you, plus you can't force your own feelings in the first place.
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    Just tell him it's not going to go any further.

    Seriously, don't listen too much to the responses here. If he asks you out to his choice of venue, the money spent is his choice (of course you should always offer to pay your share). If he has been 'pushing' his economy, i.e. taking you out on dates he cannot really afford, that is not your fault. You cannot guilt anyone into sleeping with you by spending money on them.
    Of course the time wasted sucks for both of you, but people go on many dates before they decide to be together. I don't know how old you are, but adults usually take a couple of months before deciding on exclusivity. He might be confused by your mixed signals, with good reason, but we never owe anyone to date them.

    Tell him you are not interested in dating him anymore. Don't say "you're so nice" or that you consider him a friend. Say it like it is - you are interested in something serious, and he is not the guy for you. You thought something might develop, but it hasn't. Simple as that.
    And remember for next time to listen to your own feelings more and don't try to force anything that isn't there. You'll learn more about this as you date and grow older.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I've been on 5 quite expensive dates with this guy who i met while i was working in a shop but i ran into him on a night out about a month ago and i kissed him while i was drunk. Now he's an absolutely lovely guy but i just don't find myself attracted to him physically at all, but because i kissed him on the night out i've been making out with him after every date and also because i feel like he's spent so much money and he's nice.

    I'm finding it quite hard to pack him in cos i've been sending him all the wrong signals so far, shall i stick it out and see if attraction develops or should i do him a favour (and save him some money) and just tell him i don't fancy him?

    But if i tell him i dont fancy him, he'll wonder why i've been making out with him.. I feel bad already but i'd like to redeem myself a bit
    you're probably butters so won't find anyone else anyway


    (Original post by HFerguson)
    congratulations on setting feminism back 50 years

    you are the cancer of society

    Not only have you wasted his money and strung him along, he's also probably going to be quite hurt emotionally, because you gave all the wrong signals and led him on.

    There is no redemption here - you have done something shameful and should feel nothing but guilt.
    calling someone the cancer of society is awful, particularly when all the OP is doing is breaking up with someone ... been dumped recently ???
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    (Original post by HFerguson)
    congratulations on setting feminism back 50 years

    you are the cancer of society

    Not only have you wasted his money and strung him along, he's also probably going to be quite hurt emotionally, because you gave all the wrong signals and led him on.

    There is no redemption here - you have done something shameful and should feel nothing but guilt.
    uh wow, over reacting much? I didn't ask him to take me to expensive places or pay for them and i never promised him a relationship, isn't that what dating is all about?
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    (Original post by Alex Dom)
    Im sorry but I agree with the post above ^ I would feel so let down and depressed after finding out all my dates with you didn't really impact you in the same way. Why kiss me if you don't find me attractive? Why lead me on for so long. Best thing to do is to tell him before it gets worse
    we've been out for 3 weeks, i've hardly strung him along for an unacceptable time have i now?
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    (Original post by lionboy)
    you're probably butters so won't find anyone else anyway
    actually i'm pretty darn cute so i probably will find someone else soon :rolleyes: don't be so quick to make assumptions
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    Id tell him because imagine how heartbroken he'd be if he fell for you and then you ended it. Also it will only progress you may only be dating now but then he will want you to be his girlfriend, meeyt his friends and family be a couple you cant do that if you physically dont fancy him. I think what you did was bad in that you got with him but atleast youve realised it was wrong and its not to late to fix it
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    Ugh some people overreact so much.

    OP I don't think you should tell him straight out that you don't fancy him... he will be confused and it will lead to awkward questions that you probably can't/ don't want to answer.

    Just tell him that you have had a great time but you're not really looking for anything more serious at the moment but you'd like to remain friends. Cliche but so what? People say it all the time, it means he isn't going to hate you and you can both move on.

    Also it's not like you have been together for a long time so it doesn't really need an in depth explanation.
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    5 dates!? Wow. "Tease with a conscious" is generous
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    Poor guy. I think I totally know what he thinks/feels. Either way it will be a good lesson for him not to do that in the future, you won't like him, tell him that he has no chance with you and let the guy go.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    actually i'm pretty darn cute so i probably will find someone else soon :rolleyes: don't be so quick to make assumptions
    cute is not attractive. case proved!
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    (Original post by elixira)
    ^^^ Right because it's okay to guilt someone into liking you by taking them on expensive dates...

    Just tell him it's not working out for you, never ever waste your time trying to like someone as you will regret it if they end up hurting you, plus you can't force your own feelings in the first place.
    "guilt someone" Oh right so that's what it is, so every guy with a bit of dollar is paying their way into your pants - Right? No one can guilt someone into having sex with them as its a consentual act. If that were the case "nice guys are gonna be banging chicks left right and center.

    If the guy can afford it, then why not.

    The idea of dates is to impress, attract and present your self in an interesting way as to gain/gauge a persons interest in you and see if you can see a future with the two of you & by taking her on expensive dates is one way he can do that ---- In effect the OP is enjoying the free expensive dates and has no conscience as if she didnt like the expensive dates and or him she wouldve ended it after one date.

    This is entirely the OP's fault and nothing to do with the guys financial status, its not his fault, its the lifestyle that the money brings, he has the money so hes going to live the lifestyle that he is able to. Can you imagine a premiership footballer taking a girl to a small time bar for a drink? no. Hes gonna take her somewhere expensive to show her a good time. --- Poor Guys gonna be heartbroken, she kissed him for crying out loud, numerous times, he probably thinks this one is in the bag!

    Dont assume that everyone with a bit of money is a typical nice guy.

    If he just went on a simple date and then was all like "Kerching!! Heres all my money" it would be rather odd dont you think? Like he was hiding something.
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    (Original post by SillyMilly)
    Id tell him because imagine how heartbroken he'd be if he fell for you and then you ended it. Also it will only progress you may only be dating now but then he will want you to be his girlfriend, meeyt his friends and family be a couple you cant do that if you physically dont fancy him. I think what you did was bad in that you got with him but atleast youve realised it was wrong and its not to late to fix it
    Haha, love the optimism here, maybe he just wants to close her and thats it? What guy doesn't like a challenge with a reward.....
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    actually i'm pretty darn cute so i probably will find someone else soon :rolleyes: don't be so quick to make assumptions
    ...Christ you're conceited.

    Don't be so generous to yourself as to brand it "teasing". The poor guy has taken you out on 5 dates and spent lot of money on you. Doesn't sound like he's only interested in sex to me, you haven't "teased" him, you've lead him on.
 
 
 
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