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Uni - Relationships Watch

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    Hey guys, goign to uni in September ( touch wood ), but i was wondering for soem feedback. I have been suffering from Chronic Fatigue/Post viral fatigue for around 8 months now, and whilst i realise uni is still relatively far away, this has been sitting poorly in my mind. Currently a night out i find hard, that is a club night, bars and pubs i can do just nog dancing ( high energy). How do you think this will impact relationships with people at uni, will i become ostracised and feel isolated?
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    anyone
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    No need to bump so quickly mate. There's always someone willing to help .

    It probably wouldn't do you many favours but not every female in the world wants to go to nightclubs, bars and dance all night. Some do but you usually get one night stands that way.

    Some women prefer romantic nights out, walk along the beach, just chatting over a meal than highly energetic partying.

    All about finding the girl, there's women out there who are just like you. Got to get yourself out there to find them - starting with confidence. The women who like that are usually more shy, more quieter so you have to work for them harder (I'm generalising but i found it to be a common trend that way) so just start conversations with random females who might take your interest.

    Now I will bump so someone can give you some proper advice hehe.
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    (Original post by A_Howells)
    No need to bump so quickly mate. There's always someone willing to help .

    It probably wouldn't do you many favours but not every female in the world wants to go to nightclubs, bars and dance all night. Some do but you usually get one night stands that way.

    Some women prefer romantic nights out, walk along the beach, just chatting over a meal than highly energetic partying.

    All about finding the girl, there's women out there who are just like you. Got to get yourself out there to find them - starting with confidence. The women who like that are usually more shy, more quieter so you have to work for them harder (I'm generalising but i found it to be a common trend that way) so just start conversations with random females who might take your interest.

    Now I will bump so someone can give you some proper advice hehe.
    I was meaning in terms of friendship, knowing people not feeling isolated... Yes i don't think i need help getting girls! In fact perhaps it may be better if i in fact saw less girls. Haha, but thank-you for the advice :L
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    (Original post by manty)
    I was meaning in terms of friendship, knowing people not feeling isolated... Yes i don't think i need help getting girls! In fact perhaps it may be better if i in fact saw less girls. Haha, but thank-you for the advice :L
    Sorry , my mistake. You just said "relationship" in the title and in your post I was assuming it was intimate. My apologies.
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    A lot of 18 year olds are keen to go clubbing all because it's a new experience.

    i think you'll have to put up with it a few months til you find a group of friend who are more your type and prefer the pub/gigs kind of scene.
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    Hey Ive got M.E and im at uni my M.E has got very very very bad because ive been clubbing to mucha nd eating crap. You have to put yourself first and take care of yourself when you meet your flatmates explain your condition I did to mine and now there fine if I ask to leave early and come back with me, do not push yourself for instance my whole course is going on a night out tonight that im dying to go on but ive had to cancel as im to ill. Nobody will judge you compalin for you being brave and telling them your ill, there have a problem if you dont tell them and appear to always be tired and grumpy. M;E is a horrible illness but you can still by being sensible lead a very normal life
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    (Original post by SillyMilly)
    Hey Ive got M.E and im at uni my M.E has got very very very bad because ive been clubbing to mucha nd eating crap. You have to put yourself first and take care of yourself when you meet your flatmates explain your condition I did to mine and now there fine if I ask to leave early and come back with me, do not push yourself for instance my whole course is going on a night out tonight that im dying to go on but ive had to cancel as im to ill. Nobody will judge you compalin for you being brave and telling them your ill, there have a problem if you dont tell them and appear to always be tired and grumpy. M;E is a horrible illness but you can still by being sensible lead a very normal life
    Sorry for asking this question, buts what's "M.E"?
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    Myalgic encephalopathy. Just another name for CFS


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    (Original post by SillyMilly)
    Hey Ive got M.E and im at uni my M.E has got very very very bad because ive been clubbing to mucha nd eating crap. You have to put yourself first and take care of yourself when you meet your flatmates explain your condition I did to mine and now there fine if I ask to leave early and come back with me, do not push yourself for instance my whole course is going on a night out tonight that im dying to go on but ive had to cancel as im to ill. Nobody will judge you compalin for you being brave and telling them your ill, there have a problem if you dont tell them and appear to always be tired and grumpy. M;E is a horrible illness but you can still by being sensible lead a very normal life
    I'm sorry you have CFS . I hope you do well in life.
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    (Original post by SillyMilly)
    Hey Ive got M.E and im at uni my M.E has got very very very bad because ive been clubbing to mucha nd eating crap. You have to put yourself first and take care of yourself when you meet your flatmates explain your condition I did to mine and now there fine if I ask to leave early and come back with me, do not push yourself for instance my whole course is going on a night out tonight that im dying to go on but ive had to cancel as im to ill. Nobody will judge you compalin for you being brave and telling them your ill, there have a problem if you dont tell them and appear to always be tired and grumpy. M;E is a horrible illness but you can still by being sensible lead a very normal life
    Ah great, in terms of at the beginning did you make friends with your flat mates or people on your course okay? I don't mind cancelling, just don't want to feel isolated/ be considered the 'social recluse' when really i love to party : /
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    What does your condition do? Like does it make you feel really tired etc?
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    (Original post by ZRO)
    What does your condition do? Like does it make you feel really tired etc?
    Not a massive amount of energy, become tired etc the general symptoms of any fatigue-related illness?
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    (Original post by manty)
    Ah great, in terms of at the beginning did you make friends with your flat mates or people on your course okay? I don't mind cancelling, just don't want to feel isolated/ be considered the 'social recluse' when really i love to party : /
    Yeah I have a really close group of friends here but ive made fewer friends but mucher closer friends rather than lots of friends who im not close to if that makes sense? I also do stuff like go for coffee with the people on my course or invite them round for lunch so im still socialising but it means that if im shattered in the eveing its ok because ive still made an effort theres lots of little things you can do, you wont be isolated trust me now im in 2nd term people hardly go out its once a week at a push if im feeling really **** ill go for pre drinks then go home or ill go out to the union but leave at 12 its all about finding the balance your more than welcome to pm if you want to talk about it
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    Not really. Not everyone at uni is going to be into clubbing, etc. Just be selective with your friends and try to join societies or uni clubs where you can meet decent people. Avoid the clubbing-type friends because you'll feel the pressure.
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    (Original post by manty)
    I was meaning in terms of friendship, knowing people not feeling isolated... Yes i don't think i need help getting girls! In fact perhaps it may be better if i in fact saw less girls. Haha, but thank-you for the advice :L
    Hey, In my experience uni there are pub people and club people, plenty of my friends don't really enjoy clubbing, I'm sure you will be able find a similar group who you fit in with

    Freshers may be tough though but if you explain to people I am sure they will understand and make an effort not to leave you out!
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    (Original post by SillyMilly)
    Yeah I have a really close group of friends here but ive made fewer friends but mucher closer friends rather than lots of friends who im not close to if that makes sense? I also do stuff like go for coffee with the people on my course or invite them round for lunch so im still socialising but it means that if im shattered in the eveing its ok because ive still made an effort theres lots of little things you can do, you wont be isolated trust me now im in 2nd term people hardly go out its once a week at a push if im feeling really **** ill go for pre drinks then go home or ill go out to the union but leave at 12 its all about finding the balance your more than welcome to pm if you want to talk about it
    Ah that's so comforting thank-you so much! Coffee may not apply as im a guy, but maybe music or xbox or something aha That really was so useful thank-you. Just one question, dont feel like you have to answer, which uni do you go to? Im contemplating over either Exeter or Sheffield... I ask because if it's particularly academic people may go out less anyway?
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    (Original post by redferry)
    Hey, In my experience uni there are pub people and club people, plenty of my friends don't really enjoy clubbing, I'm sure you will be able find a similar group who you fit in with

    Freshers may be tough though but if you explain to people I am sure they will understand and make an effort not to leave you out!
    I do enjoy clubbing just can't. Over the summer i went clubbing pretty much 3 times a week, been to malia etc. Just can't so its more out of choice i guess.
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    (Original post by MikeMax)
    Not really. Not everyone at uni is going to be into clubbing, etc. Just be selective with your friends and try to join societies or uni clubs where you can meet decent people. Avoid the clubbing-type friends because you'll feel the pressure.
    Ah societies, check.
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    It can be hard going, not gonna lie, but as long as you're prepared for it, do as Milly suggests (finally taking heed of some of the advice I gave her, nice to see!), and pace yourself whilst there, there's no reason why it can't be a pleasant experience really, with plenty of opportunities to socialise etc

    (Original post by Lisalou25)
    Myalgic encephalopathy. Just another name for CFS
    Essentially yes, although as you may well be aware M.E. is a more narrowly defined disorder and hence CFS is a parent category incorporating other conditions (one study found that only around 50% of those diagnosed with 'CFS' by their GP's were classified as having M.E. by specialists)

    Spoiler:
    Show
    Myalgic Encephalomyelitis (M.E. or ‘ME/CFS’) is an idiopathic condition with a distortion of homeostasis typically characterised by a range of commonly associated symptoms (most notably neurological dysfunction, chronic fatigue, chronic systemic inflammation, myalgia and Post-Exertional Malaise [PEM]). The technical definition relates to the meaning of independent terms in the classification:

    Myalgic: muscular pain or tenderness

    Encephalomyelitis: inflammation of the Cerebrospinal (CS) region (cerebral + vertebral regions)

    Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (CFS) is ostensively a broad classification for a disorder (or group of disorders) involving fatigue including but not exclusively limited to ME/CFS

    (Original post by manty)
    I don't mind cancelling, just don't want to feel isolated/ be considered the 'social recluse' when really i love to party : /
    Well that's a good start, fear of social stigma/desire to 'fit in', or to 'lead a normal student life', can lead folks to do some pretty daft things (myself included). Just make sure those you live with are in the loop. Oh and work out what your activity/alcohol threshold is before you go - I retained relatively good energy levels but my immune system is dire and just about every time I've relapsed alcohol has been involved so I've had to become virtually T-total :rolleyes:

    (Original post by manty)
    Im contemplating over either Exeter or Sheffield... I ask because if it's particularly academic people may go out less anyway?
    If there's not much in it then just go to Exeter, sea air is really good for you, and the warmer weather will help too!
 
 
 
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