The Student Room Group

RAF life for unmarried couples

Hi there,

I am currently in the process of applying for officer rank in the RAF and have just passed my CABT at OASC. However, I am wondering if anyone out there has any information or advice from their own experiences about how things work out for couples like myself who are unmarried and whose partner does not serve or intend to serve? Along this line I am curious how much time you get off from IOT and how time off and living arrangements work after you complete IOT and go onto your specific branch training.
Any advice would be most kindly received.
Reply 1
Original post by jmckee89
Hi there,

I am currently in the process of applying for officer rank in the RAF and have just passed my CABT at OASC. However, I am wondering if anyone out there has any information or advice from their own experiences about how things work out for couples like myself who are unmarried and whose partner does not serve or intend to serve? Along this line I am curious how much time you get off from IOT and how time off and living arrangements work after you complete IOT and go onto your specific branch training.
Any advice would be most kindly received.


IOT; First 4 weeks you won't leave the base. At the end of that you may get the weekend off but not be allowed to go home. From week 5 onwards you'll get weekends where you are allowed home, but sometimes restrictions will be placed on these [ie, not allowed to leave until Saturday morning, or if you're being punished for some transgression then not at all]. You'll get leave between each term, but figure of your 30weeks of IOT you'll get about half off.

Phase 2 training (branch specific); pretty sure it's still the norm to be expected to live on base for the duration of training, with additional/occasional weekends off, but service needs come first.

Beyond; in order to live together in service accommodation you must be married, but living off base is fine, just remember that you're not guaranteed to live anywhere for any significant length of time, you will be deployed, you can be called upon for detachments overseas etc etc.


There's no hard and fast ruling on time off. As an officer you're signed up for the duration of your term of service, if something kicks off and you're needed, then even if you've got a holiday booked it's tough. 99.9% of the time, however, there won't be any problems.
Your 'partner' will barely exist to the RAF. You'll get no allowances, she won't automatically be included in things like social activities (although unofficially probably will be), you can't get a military house, she gets no right if you die in service. Moving around the country to some fairly remote places, without a proper support structure, is a crappy thing to do to someone you love. Finding rented accommodation, then work, then a new social life - that is all really tiring. Then, to leave her somewhere like that, far from friends and family, while you go off on detachment / deployment is really rubbish. Getting drunk 50% of the nights you are in Cyprus won't be funny to an unemployed girl on her own in a rented flat in Lossiemouth Village.

All of that is post-training. Phase 1 & Phase 2 training you're expected to 'live in'.
Reply 3
Original post by ProStacker
Your 'partner' will barely exist to the RAF. You'll get no allowances, she won't automatically be included in things like social activities (although unofficially probably will be), you can't get a military house, she gets no right if you die in service. Moving around the country to some fairly remote places, without a proper support structure, is a crappy thing to do to someone you love. Finding rented accommodation, then work, then a new social life - that is all really tiring. Then, to leave her somewhere like that, far from friends and family, while you go off on detachment / deployment is really rubbish. Getting drunk 50% of the nights you are in Cyprus won't be funny to an unemployed girl on her own in a rented flat in Lossiemouth Village.

All of that is post-training. Phase 1 & Phase 2 training you're expected to 'live in'.


I think that's a bit of a harsh one sided view of life in the military nowadays. I am just starting my first front-line tour after going through Phase 1 and Phase 2 training and from my experience the 'WAGs', as they affectionately became known, were very much included in all social aspects. In terms of housing no you wont get a married quarter, but there is scope to rent at any stage of training (aircrew anyway) and commuting isn't as bad as you think short term. In terms of rights if you die, you can have her as an emergency contact should anything happen to you she will be informed and if you have a will then any pay out from your life insurance and service life insurance can go to her. She will not get a war widow pension though. It all depends on how willing she is to throw herself into the social side of things. There are plenty of other girls in her situation and on the Squadron we are on they regularly get together and have their own social circle, as they have done at every stage before then. Those who just shut themselves in their partner's room in the mess or do not attend Dining-In Nights etc may find it harder, but she will get out what she puts in.

Hope this helps.
The life of a JO through flying training and onto a Squadron is far more cosy and insulated than the rest of the JOs in the RAF. Your life is far more stable and far more predictable than any other Branch, especially the training. You are completely surrounded by your peer group and you effectively have no other responsibilities other than your own flying and this lasts often until promotion. You go where your aircraft type is and you stay there for a long time. Squadron life is a subset of RAF life and is nothing like the life your JEngOs, the Loggies, the Adminers or anyone else leads. It is far easier on the girlfriends for all of those reasons.
That all might sound harsh to you as well, but it is true.
Reply 5
Fair enough, the OP didn't state what branch he was going in to so just wanted to add my views from the aircrew side...Didn't mean to offend

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