I thought I'd post on TSR as you're all pretty wise. I am a rare student who hates going home for the holidays. Easter/Summer is awful. My boyfriend lives in South Wales and I go to university in Southampton and I'm in my second year but I come from North Devon so clearly, seeing my boyfriend is much easier when I'm in university. I can usually see him every other week and sometimes every weekend if I'm lucky when I'm here as the trains are good.
The thought of going home over the holidays depresses me because there are a lack of jobs so working over the summer at home is hit and miss and I won't see my boyfriend for weeks at a time.
I have no friends at home due to some relationships falling apart and back stabbing friends. All of my friends are either based in South Wales or in Southampton. I'm applying for some summer jobs with WJEC to be with my boyfriend in his home town for a few months but I'm not that confident about getting the job.
Don't get me wrong, I kinda like my home life but in short chunks. I don't enjoy being nagged as I feel too old to be nagged and I like living independently. I just find myself longing for my boyfriend. (we've been together near enough three years). If he lived in my home town, I would be okay. I'm feeling really down. I was wondering if anyone was in the same position. This LDR stuff is so hard.
TL;DR VERSION: Long distance relationships suck and I feel depressed about it. Please share your sage wisdom.
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LDR and university - finding it hard watch
- Thread Starter
- 06-03-2013 18:29
- 06-03-2013 18:39
Ahhh, I will be in an LDR as of next year when me and my gf go to uni. It does sound really hard and scary and I hope we can pull through. I miss my girlfriend even after a minute when leaving her. I have been thinking and planning ahead of ways we can see eachother more. Like putting up pictures of oursleves in our rooms at university and being able to use video chat just to chat, obvioulsy the thing you can not replace is the sense of touch and smell. It is a good idea finding a job near him, I agree with anyway you two can find to try and be in touch more often. Just make sure that you are both seeing each other, even just pictures, since that assures you both know that you are looking at him and he is looking at you and you are both thinking of each other. I have not experienced this yet so my idea and view may not be very good.Last edited by david2457; 06-03-2013 at 18:42.
- 06-03-2013 21:10
All LDRs are hard. You'll never get over it as long as it's an LDR. But seriously get over it - and I mean that in the nicest way possible. :P
Talk to him about how hard you find it if you want to. He'll be able to comfort you more than TSR I bet.
You love him, and he loves you - just don't forget it no matter how far apart you two are from each other. Think about all the babies you'll have in the future :3
I've been with my boyfriend for 4-5 years yet have only been with him in person for a total of 5 months. We have a time zone difference of 6 hours. So trust me I know how hard it is. Many others are in the same situation.
The solution for me has been skype/video call 24/7 (almost literally!)
Good luck, hope it didn't sound too harsh, but getting yourself down about it is only going to make it worse and worse (and worse). Take a deep breath and calm your emotions down when you feel too depressed, if you can.
- 06-03-2013 22:32
Distance is a complete and utter ***** - I totally agree (seeing my boyfriend a grand total of twice in the next 6 months) but if you really care about the other person it's definitely worth it.
Yeah it's rubbish and you're both going to have down days but there are ways to make it easier.
- I find having a date for the next time we're seeing eachother can make me feel a lot better, I'm the kind of person who likes to know how many days/weeks/months it is until things, it makes getting a little perspective far easier - say you're not seeing him for 4 weeks, that's 4 Mondays and 1 week where you're going to be excited about seeing him anyway
- Skype. Such a brilliant thing. Especially helpful in my relationship where my boyfriend's abroad. Even if it's not a call to talk about something specific, having him (almost) there is just nice, even if we're both doing our own thing (work, reading or w/e)
- Make plans, talk about things you're going to do when you see eachother next, sometimes this'll make you a little sad, but being positive having things to look forward to is always good
I came across a cute website the other day which may be worth a look: http://www.lovingfromadistance.com/
Fingers crossed for a summer job in your boyfriend's home town. But just remember it's not the end of the world if it doesn't happen. I really hope everything works out for you.