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I like a girl who has never had a boyfriend. Watch

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    Okay, so long story cut short...I met this girl in freshers in uni last year and we become really good friends and i started to like her. As our friendship developed so did my feelings for this girl. She's very shy and platonic and has never even had any experience with crushes let alone relationships whereas i've had one relationship.
    we bond so well and literally on the same mindset and somewhere deep down I think she likes me too. Problem being she says she's not ready for boyfriends and relationships and won't be for a long time aswell both of us being from different cultures and our families are strict and wouldnt approve ( which i couldn't care...i'm willing to fight for it ).
    I decided I didn't wanna hurt her and ruin what we had...(she's been through a lot in the past with family issues and has lost a lot and in a way she needs me to assure her) and didn't wanna put her in a position where she feels like she could lose me and that eventually my feelings will subside...A year on and we're closer than ever and i still like her...(i wouldnt call it love) and what's more wondering is i still think she likes me...yet she still says she isn't ready...I really wish i could just move on but i just don't know what to do...On one hand i just can't get her out of my mind and it's making me feel trapped and miserable and on the other i risk hurting her and losing her.

    sorry for the long post. i'd be grateful for any advice...
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    you mean a Virgin.
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    To cut a long story short... How long was the original ****ing story?


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    Schrodinger's cat. You won't know if there's anything there (or not) unless you ask her.
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    (Original post by GG189)
    To cut a long story short... How long was the original ****ing story?


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    Originally a 10,000 word essay. Never the less, made me laugh
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    (Original post by WillowSummers)
    Schrodinger's cat. You won't know if there's anything there (or not) unless you ask her.
    There's a synonym for 'cat' that is used in this context. Schrodinger wrote a lot on the topic.
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    (Original post by Entangled)
    There's a synonym for 'cat' that is used in this context. Schrodinger wrote a lot on the topic.
    He wrote a lot about felines?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Okay, so long story cut short...I met this girl in freshers in uni last year and we become really good friends and i started to like her. As our friendship developed so did my feelings for this girl. She's very shy and platonic and has never even had any experience with crushes let alone relationships whereas i've had one relationship.
    we bond so well and literally on the same mindset and somewhere deep down I think she likes me too. Problem being she says she's not ready for boyfriends and relationships and won't be for a long time aswell both of us being from different cultures and our families are strict and wouldnt approve ( which i couldn't care...i'm willing to fight for it ).
    I decided I didn't wanna hurt her and ruin what we had...(she's been through a lot in the past with family issues and has lost a lot and in a way she needs me to assure her) and didn't wanna put her in a position where she feels like she could lose me and that eventually my feelings will subside...A year on and we're closer than ever and i still like her...(i wouldnt call it love) and what's more wondering is i still think she likes me...yet she still says she isn't ready...I really wish i could just move on but i just don't know what to do...On one hand i just can't get her out of my mind and it's making me feel trapped and miserable and on the other i risk hurting her and losing her.

    sorry for the long post. i'd be grateful for any advice...

    I think you should pursue her if you think there is something latent developing. She may be one of a kind, a rarity, so she is worth perseverance. I'd be patient though, because girls can get scared off, you want to make yourself indispensable, get her used to you being there perhaps, over time you will gain her trust.

    Thing about affections is that it does tend to make people feel miserable, but that's a 'good' miserable feeling.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Okay, so long story cut short...I met this girl in freshers in uni last year and we become really good friends and i started to like her. As our friendship developed so did my feelings for this girl. She's very shy and platonic and has never even had any experience with crushes let alone relationships whereas i've had one relationship.
    we bond so well and literally on the same mindset and somewhere deep down I think she likes me too. Problem being she says she's not ready for boyfriends and relationships and won't be for a long time aswell both of us being from different cultures and our families are strict and wouldnt approve ( which i couldn't care...i'm willing to fight for it ).
    I decided I didn't wanna hurt her and ruin what we had...(she's been through a lot in the past with family issues and has lost a lot and in a way she needs me to assure her) and didn't wanna put her in a position where she feels like she could lose me and that eventually my feelings will subside...A year on and we're closer than ever and i still like her...(i wouldnt call it love) and what's more wondering is i still think she likes me...yet she still says she isn't ready...I really wish i could just move on but i just don't know what to do...On one hand i just can't get her out of my mind and it's making me feel trapped and miserable and on the other i risk hurting her and losing her.

    sorry for the long post. i'd be grateful for any advice...
    This might sound harsh (though it may be entirely wrong), but perhaps she just isn't interested? I've heard that the whole "I'm not ready for a relationship" line is often an excuse for not wanting to be with a particular person. This might be completely wrong - I've just heard that it can be an indication. It could also be, however, just the fear of conflict with her parents, also, in which case, there's not much you can do either.
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    (Original post by Entangled)
    There's a synonym for 'cat' that is used in this context. Schrodinger wrote a lot on the topic.
    OP just got called out.

    FIGHT OUTSIDE THE SCHOOL GATES AT 3.30PM LADS
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    First of all, I want to point out the fact that you seem a nice guy! Usually, lots of men, wouldn't have been so comprehensive as you.

    Unfortunately, she hasn't changed her mind during this year and you can't force her to change it. Sorry, I have to be honest. You should move on or wait with risk that she couldn't change her mind. Moreover, are you sure that this isn't love? Because you have been waiting for more than one year, not just one month. I'm sorry for this situation, as I said before, you seem a nice guy who doesn't deserve this!

    P.s: if someone tells you to make her jealous, do not listen to him/her.


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    (Original post by Tim2341)
    I think you should pursue her if you think there is something latent developing. She may be one of a kind, a rarity, so she is worth perseverance. I'd be patient though, because girls can get scared off, you want to make yourself indispensable, get her used to you being there perhaps, over time you will gain her trust.

    Thing about affections is that it does tend to make people feel miserable, but that's a 'good' miserable feeling.
    Thanks. Definitely understand the 'good' miserable. Although I'm not afraid of patience, or actually telling her but the consequences. Even if she does like me or not, what if she just isn't ready for a relationship and i don't want to be that person who makes her feel like she has to choose me or lose me. Over the last year, i'm the only thing that's been a constant in her life. On the other hand, i can't just sit here feeling about her this way and not saying anything.

    (Original post by McMurdo)
    This might sound harsh (though it may be entirely wrong), but perhaps she just isn't interested? I've heard that the whole "I'm not ready for a relationship" line is often an excuse for not wanting to be with a particular person. This might be completely wrong - I've just heard that it can be an indication. It could also be, however, just the fear of conflict with her parents, also, in which case, there's not much you can do either.
    Harsh advice is always has much truth to it. Thanks.

    (Original post by Stanley90)
    OP just got called out.

    FIGHT OUTSIDE THE SCHOOL GATES AT 3.30PM LADS
    I'm afraid I'm busy then...sorry.
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    (Original post by 14thoctober)
    First of all, I want to point out the fact that you seem a nice guy! Usually, lots of men, wouldn't have been so comprehensive as you.

    Unfortunately, she hasn't changed her mind during this year and you can't force her to change it. Sorry, I have to be honest. You should move on or wait with risk that she couldn't change her mind. Moreover, are you sure that this isn't love? Because you have been waiting for more than one year, not just one month. I'm sorry for this situation, as I said before, you seem a nice guy who doesn't deserve this!

    P.s: if someone tells you to make her jealous, do not listen to him/her.


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    haha Thank you, I'm just a normal guy who's a bit old fashioned in such things...as for love and all i don't know...i feel like i haven't experienced enough life to know what love is.

    I can live with her not liking me or so (it's life. Not everyone is going to like you because you do) but not with the regret years on of what if i told her and she liked me. Just what if. I just want to tell her so I know I tried but, am i being selfish? i don't wanna make her choose and hurt her. We're really close friends so making her jealous and so on is just as stupid thing to do to any girl...I'm a very simple guy...unfortunately i don't play these games

    Never the less I appreciate the honest advice. Thanks, you seem like a lovely person x
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    Tell her you like her but do it in such away that if she doesn't reciprocate, no ****s will be given and you will return to how you were.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    haha Thank you, I'm just a normal guy who's a bit old fashioned in such things...as for love and all i don't know...i feel like i haven't experienced enough life to know what love is.

    I can live with her not liking me or so (it's life. Not everyone is going to like you because you do) but not with the regret years on of what if i told her and she liked me. Just what if. I just want to tell her so I know I tried but, am i being selfish? i don't wanna make her choose and hurt her. We're really close friends so making her jealous and so on is just as stupid thing to do to any girl...I'm a very simple guy...unfortunately i don't play these games

    Never the less I appreciate the honest advice. Thanks, you seem like a lovely person x
    In my opinion, you should definitely tell her! You're not selfish at all! You can't hide your feelings anymore and it's better living without regrets! You should tell her something like "xx I've had feelings for you for a year and I can't stand it anymore because I don't think it's right to hide our feelings. I don't want to hurt you and I'm not asking you for a prompt reply. Take your time and think about it and let me know what you think".



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    It's a tough situation. If you told her you liked her and she didn't like you back and you continued to be her friend it would only end in you getting hurt. How would you feel if she got a boyfriend?
    Just tell her and if the feeling isn't reciprocated go and move on. It will be difficult but you'll end up feeling happier.

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    So you don't love her?


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    (Original post by RemiMarcelle)
    So you don't love her?
    I think he'd be hard-pressed to say he loved her if they haven't really even dated.
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    Your some soft guy.
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    She doesn't sound interested. When they say; "I'm not ready for a relationship..." it usually means; "I'm not interested in you/those that have expressed interest."

    I think you are in denial that you've been friendzoned.
 
 
 
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