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Parents' hate for each other outweighs love for kid? Watch

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    Ok so my parents are divorced and have been for the past 8 years. I was just wondering if anyone else finds themselves in a similar position.

    Even though they've been divorced 8 years whenever I see either parent they can't resist a rant about the other one. I'm talking at least 15-20 minutes several times for the duration of my stay. It happens without fail.

    Not only do they do that but if there's a chance for one to get one-up on the other they will take it with glee even if it means I suffer as a side effect. They don't give a **** about me so long as they can get one over the other parent.

    This makes me feel really upset and angry, they are so short-sighted, they don't care how me or my sisters feel they just want to be "better" than the other one. They don't care if their actions cause me or my siblings to miss out or lose money or anything just so long as they are not seen to help the other. They will not exchange a word and are stubborn as hell so I often have to act as a go between (being the oldest) which is exhausting, it's like trying to deal with angry 7 year olds.

    It's driving me crazy, I can't understand how anyone can hold that much hate for another person. There was no rape, violence or anything in their marriage they just argued a lot. Anyone else's divorced parents act like this?



    To make matters worse, my sister had a baby and it's getting Christened in a few weeks time, they're both invited and this is the first time they're going to be in the same room since the divorce, I worry for my sister how they're going to cause strife and mess up her son's big day.
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    My parents are still together, so I honestly have no idea what you are going through, but my imagination can empathise. This might seem like a stupid question, but have you tried talking to either of them about it? Or have you tried talking to anyone you trust at work/school?
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    I remember that. That was the good old days. Now I got a birthday card from my dad saying "See Me." and no text at Christmas. Him getting married without telling me and calling me bad names. I like my mummy though, we only fight about my messy room.
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    Honestly, some people just never really grow up, do they? It's a sad fact that parents can still act like children in all the wrong ways sometimes

    I'd tell your sister to talk to both of your parents seriously and remind them that the day of the Christening is about her son, and not about them, and that they shouldn't try to make it so. They need to learn to put their kids before themselves once in a while. I'd also recommend you speak to them about it and tell them to act like adults, and that you won't be acting as a go-between all the time.
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    (Original post by desdemonata)
    Honestly, some people just never really grow up, do they? It's a sad fact that parents can still act like children in all the wrong ways sometimes

    I'd tell your sister to talk to both of your parents seriously and remind them that the day of the Christening is about her son, and not about them, and that they shouldn't try to make it so. They need to learn to put their kids before themselves once in a while. I'd also recommend you speak to them about it and tell them to act like adults, and that you won't be acting as a go-between all the time.
    I know what you mean, it all just seems incredibly childish to me.

    My sister is getting really upset over it, she's tried telling them both to keep the peace at the Christening and all our mum would reply was "well you didn't have to invite your dad". I mean seriously, wtf? How can she not invite her son's granddad to his christening just so they don't argue?

    I've tried telling both of them that I don't want to hear their rants and that I don't like acting as a go-between over everything and all I get in response is that I'm taking sides and clearly "love him/her more" just because I don't want to hear it.

    It's incredibly frustrating and I'm so worried for my sister :banghead:
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I know what you mean, it all just seems incredibly childish to me.

    My sister is getting really upset over it, she's tried telling them both to keep the peace at the Christening and all our mum would reply was "well you didn't have to invite your dad". I mean seriously, wtf? How can she not invite her son's granddad to his christening just so they don't argue?

    I've tried telling both of them that I don't want to hear their rants and that I don't like acting as a go-between over everything and all I get in response is that I'm taking sides and clearly "love him/her more" just because I don't want to hear it.

    It's incredibly frustrating and I'm so worried for my sister :banghead:
    Wow. What a response. Your sister should tell her that your dad is as much of a parent as she [your mum] is, and that they're both letting their children down by not being able to see that.

    I can imagine. My parents love *****ing about each other (even though they're not separated). Honestly, I'd get so irritated so quickly. Ask them why it's impossible for them to put themselves in your shoes? Tell them to imagine if they were you and had to deal with your parents acting like this, never talking to each other let alone being civil, making people's lives miserable, and caring more about themselves than anyone else.

    Honestly, I'd not invite either of them if they can't promise to forget about themselves for one minute. They really need a wake-up call
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    This is your opportunity, your sister needs to tell your parents that if they don't promise to be on best behaviour and try and get along then she must ban them from the christening.

    You should point out to them that they are in fact acting like children.

    Find a way to get them to go to counselling? It's too late for couples therapy but something akin to it might help them get over the butt-hurt stupidity, they're divorced, it's over. They need to grow up and get over it.

    Best of luck OP.
 
 
 
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