Join TSR now for chat about life, relationships, fashion and more…Sign up now

Everytime she mentions her boyfriend i get angry / jealous Watch

    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    Basically there this girl i like (she is taken though) and she knows my feelings towards her. I talk to her everyday and i'm fine talking talking everyday, but whenever the topic of her boyfriend comes up, i can't bare to type / speak her boyfriends name and when i eventually do (i've agreed not to call her boyfriend "him" and other titles) i get overcome with anger / jealously / sadness (sometimes all 3 in one go)

    This also happens whenever she mentions his name, but ofc i don't show my reactions publicly What can i do to overcome this; i don't like feeling jealous etc. it doesn't suit me well
    • TSR Support Team
    Offline

    19
    (Original post by Tcrumpen)
    Basically there this girl i like (she is taken though) and she knows my feelings towards her. I talk to her everyday and i'm fine talking talking everyday, but whenever the topic of her boyfriend comes up, i can't bare to type / speak her boyfriends name and when i eventually do (i've agreed not to call her boyfriend "him" and other titles) i get overcome with anger / jealously / sadness (sometimes all 3 in one go)

    This also happens whenever she mentions his name, but ofc i don't show my reactions publicly What can i do to overcome this; i don't like feeling jealous etc. it doesn't suit me well
    Unfortunately not much you can do, if she talks about her boyfriend then she will talk about him, you could politely ask her to change the subject but that might make her resent you. Only other option would be to not talk to her.
    Offline

    15
    ReputationRep:
    Don't be the guy who uses words like "him", it's not a good look

    Move on, or convince yourself you're playing the long game and will win out in the end
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Foo.mp3)
    Don't be the guy who uses words like "him", it's not a good look

    Move on, or convince yourself you're playing the long game and will win out in the end
    she did say that although she can't see us together right now, she did say that if they did break up she would think about "us" so perhaps i do just need to be the patient one
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Tcrumpen)
    i'm fine talking talking everyday
    You're really, really not. lol
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by The Troll Toll)
    You're really, really not. lol
    This. Cut all contact with her.
    Offline

    15
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Tcrumpen)
    she did say that although she can't see us together right now
    Hmm, well I hope for your sake she's being straight, you know some girls like to keep guys 'hanging on' in the background so to speak, sometimes without having any intention of ever actually getting with them

    (Original post by Tcrumpen)
    she did say that if they did break up she would think about "us" so perhaps i do just need to be the patient one
    Sounds like it aye, concentrate on being a good pal and getting on with things/up to your own shenanigans in the meantime eh
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    I was in a very similar situation and I was finding it very hard because I particularly disliked her bf and she always talked about him...I had to stop talking with her for quite a long time and then things got better. To be honest it still feels a bit awkward when she talks about her relationship with her bf but I don't have any feelings like jealousy, I guess I just needed time to accept it or get over it or whatever. That's my personal experience but maybe it'll work for you as well
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Speaking from a females point of view, she probably likes you but not enough to split up with her boyfriend.

    Do you really want to be that guy who always feels like second best?

    I think holding back the talking and showing that you're not willing to be friend-zoned and kept in the background would be beneficial to you, it shows her that you command respect but at the same time leaves you as an option if she ever did split up with her boyfriend. In the mean time you should play the field, if it's meant to happen it will happen and you don't want to be the donkey who's always tryna get the carrot dangling in front of its face.
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Foo.mp3)
    Hmm, well I hope for your sake she's being straight, you know some girls like to keep guys 'hanging on' in the background so to speak, sometimes without having any intention of ever actually getting with them

    Sounds like it aye, concentrate on being a good pal and getting on with things/up to your own shenanigans in the meantime eh
    how do you mean "getting on with things/up to your own shenanigans in the meantime eh "?
    Offline

    15
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Tcrumpen)
    how do you mean "getting on with things/up to your own shenanigans in the meantime eh "?
    Keep your eyes open and don't miss out on other opportunities to connect with other girls
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Foo.mp3)
    Keep your eyes open and don't miss out on other opportunities to connect with other girls
    ahh right i know what you mean know, but i'm not exactly the kinda guy that gets a lot of female attention, so - not holding out much hope
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Tcrumpen)
    Basically there this girl i like (she is taken though) and she knows my feelings towards her. I talk to her everyday and i'm fine talking talking everyday, but whenever the topic of her boyfriend comes up, i can't bare to type / speak her boyfriends name and when i eventually do (i've agreed not to call her boyfriend "him" and other titles) i get overcome with anger / jealously / sadness (sometimes all 3 in one go)

    This also happens whenever she mentions his name, but ofc i don't show my reactions publicly What can i do to overcome this; i don't like feeling jealous etc. it doesn't suit me well
    Your problem, sir.
    http://images.sodahead.com/profiles/...767993508.jpeg

    http://youtu.be/o3IWTfcks4k

    You need to put her behind you and move on. That means cutting back on friendship with her if you find it too hard to let go of the feelings, meet new women and try and mate with them.

    Also if she is purposefully toying with your feelings, etc, she is clearly a ***** who just likes your attention. All the more because you're willing to give it to her without any sort of respect or reciprocation on her part.

    http://us.123rf.com/400wm/400/400/to...man-s-hand.jpg

    Reclaim these, they are your birth-right.
    Offline

    15
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Tcrumpen)
    ahh right i know what you mean know, but i'm not exactly the kinda guy that gets a lot of female attention, so - not holding out much hope
    Ah well, still nothing to stop you befriending other girls and keeping an eye out for that spark
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Like someone mentioned above, are you willing to put your own 'love-life' on hold till she decides she wants you? You say you don't get much attention anyway, but if you're holding onto to hopes of being with her, how will you even notice if you did get any?

    I also don't understand why she speaks to you about her boyfriend when she knows you like her? Who does that, unless she wants to see/make you jealous?

    All I can say is move on. Keep your contact with her limited and go find someone who isn't going to make you second best.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    OP you're being seriously lame. And if this girl is stringing you along saying "one day maybe we'll be together if I maybe split up with my bf" then she's being kinda lame too.

    Get a life, you can't invest so much in someone for whom you clearly aren't number one. Maybe she likes you but obviously not enough. What's the best outcome? They split and you're the back-up option? Why would you want that?
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Matstu)
    Like someone mentioned above, are you willing to put your own 'love-life' on hold till she decides she wants you? You say you don't get much attention anyway, but if you're holding onto to hopes of being with her, how will you even notice if you did get any?

    I also don't understand why she speaks to you about her boyfriend when she knows you like her? Who does that, unless she wants to see/make you jealous?

    All I can say is move on. Keep your contact with her limited and go find someone who isn't going to make you second best.
    i am trying to see other opportunities, but not many of em arise, i'm not lost in love don't worry (been there and done that with 'the girl of my dreams')
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: March 8, 2013
Poll
If you won £30,000, which of these would you spend it on?

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Quick reply
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.