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I've changed since having a boyfriend and I'm not sure I like it! Watch

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    Well, like the title says.

    Been with him 10 months. Never had a serious relationship before. It was always either me chasing after someone endlessly and hopelessly, or friends with benefits, or one night stands. Not saying I'm proud of having one night stands, but at least they were fun.

    In first and second year of uni I used to go out a lot with my friends. I used to have fun, sometimes pull, had this 'friend with benefits' and we would watch telly, drink, smoke etc and it was really fun. When I was home I would always be up for a night out with my friends!

    Now, I'm nothing like that. Yes it's third year so obviously I have more work and I'm going out less but I feel like I've changed as a person. It's got to the point where I make excuses not to go on nights out anymore. I absolutely dread having to go on nights out. I never enjoy myself as much as I used to and when I do go out, I almost always leave early. I obviously don't have the 'friends with benefits' situation anymore now that I'm in a relationship, but I miss that. My current boyfriend is not someone who I can just sit and smoke/drink with and have a laugh with like that, it's just all too serious.

    But I've changed so much now and become so involved with the relationship I can't go back to how I was... I've turned into a boring person Kind of want my old life back, and by this I in no way mean I want to sleep around or anything, I just want to be the fun outgoing person I once was.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Well, like the title says.

    Been with him 10 months. Never had a serious relationship before. It was always either me chasing after someone endlessly and hopelessly, or friends with benefits, or one night stands. Not saying I'm proud of having one night stands, but at least they were fun.

    In first and second year of uni I used to go out a lot with my friends. I used to have fun, sometimes pull, had this 'friend with benefits' and we would watch telly, drink, smoke etc and it was really fun. When I was home I would always be up for a night out with my friends!

    Now, I'm nothing like that. Yes it's third year so obviously I have more work and I'm going out less but I feel like I've changed as a person. It's got to the point where I make excuses not to go on nights out anymore. I absolutely dread having to go on nights out. I never enjoy myself as much as I used to and when I do go out, I almost always leave early. I obviously don't have the 'friends with benefits' situation anymore now that I'm in a relationship, but I miss that. My current boyfriend is not someone who I can just sit and smoke/drink with and have a laugh with like that, it's just all too serious.

    But I've changed so much now and become so involved with the relationship I can't go back to how I was... I've turned into a boring person Kind of want my old life back, and by this I in no way mean I want to sleep around or anything, I just want to be the fun outgoing person I once was.
    I am kind of the same... Except my crazy wild stage was when I was 14/15... I got with my current boyfriend when I was 16, and when I was 18... I just didn't really have that urge to go out clubbing or anything.
    If I go out clubbing now I want my boyfriend to be with me, cos I get weirded out when guys try to dance with me, plus alot of my friends are single so they just go off with random guys leaving me to fend for myself!

    I kinda feel like I have lost friends because all they ever want to do is go out clubbing, but I just don't want to!

    I've started to come around to it and now I just try to plan all of the clubbing stuff, so that way my mates can't say "you never come out" because I do... But I will come out when it suit me, cos I have planned it! Aha

    I think it's just something that kinda happens when you get into a serious relationship, you're conscious of what might upset your partner, therefore you dull down a bit in order not to upset set them... Maybe? I dunno
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    To me it is perfectly possible to still have a social life and a partner as long as both in the relationship are happy etc. It sounds a bit like to me your relationship may have gotten into a bit of a rut or maybe become very routine.
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    Nobody wants to be boring, but then again nobody wants to be that person that never grows up and gets serious. If you don't like your boyfriend, then that is the real issue, not you getting boring. Life in a relationship is different from single life, and yes, it does affect the way you look at nights out etc.

    Im in third year too. Ive had a girlfriend a year and a half. I used to go out every second night, and now i go out every second week at the weekend. I don't find myself boring, I appreciate my nights out more even though I cant pull. Life is more serious now I'm looking for jobs and stuff, so I couldn't even if I wanted to.

    You're not a kid anymore. You will be outside of education in a year. Assess your relationship, and decide whether you are genuinely boring, or if its because you feel some nostalgia for the way you used to be. Nobody likes the person who lives in the past though, and doesn't enjoy life in the moment
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    (Original post by theguv92)
    Nobody wants to be boring, but then again nobody wants to be that person that never grows up and gets serious. If you don't like your boyfriend, then that is the real issue, not you getting boring. Life in a relationship is different from single life, and yes, it does affect the way you look at nights out etc.

    Im in third year too. Ive had a girlfriend a year and a half. I used to go out every second night, and now i go out every second week at the weekend. I don't find myself boring, I appreciate my nights out more even though I cant pull. Life is more serious now I'm looking for jobs and stuff, so I couldn't even if I wanted to.

    You're not a kid anymore. You will be outside of education in a year. Assess your relationship, and decide whether you are genuinely boring, or if its because you feel some nostalgia for the way you used to be. Nobody likes the person who lives in the past though, and doesn't enjoy life in the moment
    Very true.

    I do like my boyfriend that's the thing. I enjoy our relationship but I do feel like I miss out on things that single people do. Or even not single people that I know. I was always the only one out of all my friends that wasn't in a relationship. At first I hated it but then I learned to love it. I loved having freedom to do whatever I wanted and not having to consider someone else. Not having to worry about someone else.

    I guess I've grown up, and I'm finding it a bit boring. I just wish I could enjoy things that I used to. Like going on nights out, in uni I always used to be up for getting drunk in the flat and dancing the night away and having messy nights. Now I do go on nights out, once a month maybe but just don't enjoy them as much. I think I get less drunk because it gives me control (I know I won't cheat on my bf but I'm scared that if I got really drunk, I could do something I might regret like dancing with someone or flirting).

    Part of me thinks I'm not ready for all this seriousness.

    But then it's been like this for 10 months now and if the relationship ended I would be so lost! I wouldn't go back to being how I was before at all..

    I guess I need to start trying to enjoy things more. Try to enjoy my nights out and not worry about my boyfriend when I'm out. And possibly try and get him to come out more and do things with me so that I feel like I'm having fun, and can still have fun in a relationship.

    I'm thinking it's all the pressure of 3rd year too as well though that's making me feel like this
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    (Original post by Lala_1234)
    I am kind of the same... Except my crazy wild stage was when I was 14/15... I got with my current boyfriend when I was 16, and when I was 18... I just didn't really have that urge to go out clubbing or anything.
    If I go out clubbing now I want my boyfriend to be with me, cos I get weirded out when guys try to dance with me, plus alot of my friends are single so they just go off with random guys leaving me to fend for myself!

    I kinda feel like I have lost friends because all they ever want to do is go out clubbing, but I just don't want to!

    I've started to come around to it and now I just try to plan all of the clubbing stuff, so that way my mates can't say "you never come out" because I do... But I will come out when it suit me, cos I have planned it! Aha

    I think it's just something that kinda happens when you get into a serious relationship, you're conscious of what might upset your partner, therefore you dull down a bit in order not to upset set them... Maybe? I dunno
    I'm 21 now. Had my wild stage in first and second year of uni.. I do go out still but not as often and don't enjoy it as much and I want to be able to enjoy it. Obviously I know there's lots of things I used to do that I can't do now I'm in a relationship, and I do miss it a bit but I love him so I'll have to get used to it.

    I hate feeling like this
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    I think we have all thought the grass is always greener on the otherside at some point, I mean there is no harm in having a night out with the girls or something I am sure your boyfriend wouldn't mind, however maybe there is a couple issues you need to talk to your boyfriend about, e.g. as I said earlier maybe the spark has gone a bit in the relationship.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm 21 now. Had my wild stage in first and second year of uni.. I do go out still but not as often and don't enjoy it as much and I want to be able to enjoy it. Obviously I know there's lots of things I used to do that I can't do now I'm in a relationship, and I do miss it a bit but I love him so I'll have to get used to it.

    I hate feeling like this
    If you are honestly hating it... Then maybe it's because you're not really enjoying being in the relationship? Don't get angry with me (everyone always argues on here... Don't get it) I'm just saying that some people blame other things when really it is the relationship which is the problem.
    I don't miss how I used to be at all. The only thing I miss is the closeness I had with my friends, the only reason I don't have that anymore is because they just wanna go clubbing all the time, if I suggest a girls night in or something they wouldn't bother at all.
    Do you go out clubbing with your boyfriend? Cos for me, that is the only way I enjoy clubbing, I don't spend the whole time with him at the club, but atleast he is there if my mates go off with some random guys.


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    You need to sort your life out, me and my boyfriend go out all the time with my friends and with his friends, you need to include him in your social life and put more effort in with your friends, at the end of the day they will be the ones that have to pick up the pieces if it all falls apart.
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    (Original post by redferry)
    You need to sort your life out, me and my boyfriend go out all the time with my friends and with his friends, you need to include him in your social life and put more effort in with your friends, at the end of the day they will be the ones that have to pick up the pieces if it all falls apart.
    We can hardly ever go out because he's always so broke. If I do want to go on a night out with him, I usually have to pay for his drinks and the taxi home too.. costing me around £50 for a decent night out then :/

    The reason I hardly see my friends is because of I'm at uni, whenever I go home I always have to make priority to see my boyfriend.

    As for uni friends, they are mainly my flatmates and a couple of coursemates so I just see them anyway. I do go on nights out with them, but don't enjoy it as much anymore I just can't see to and I don't know if this is because I've got a boyfriend or whether I've just changed anyway. I mean I worked in a nightclub for 3 months last year so hardly went out for those 3 months, when I started going back out again it wasn't the same so that could be why.

    Even one of my friends who I don't see that often said to me the other day 'You look different since you've had a boyfriend' I don't know what she means though different as in what? Different clothes etc?
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    Do you really think you've changed at your core? Or is it more the case that you've just got used to a certain lifestyle and maintaining a relationship that's zzZZ? :holmes:
 
 
 
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