I'm desperate for some advice and I just feel I need to unload, sorry for the long post I'm just hoping someone might be able to relate.
I've had OCD for nearly 7 years and having been passed from pillar to post within the NHS I had begun to start CBT. However I had to postpone my treatment in January after my personal life changed significantly, not enabling me to be able to discuss my feelings for the time being as it is too hard.
I had CBT as I was concerned my anxiety was no better and this started from Uni again. I was due to go to University last year after a previous failed attempt but I arrived at Uni to find that I couldn't stay, the journey was horrendous, I felt so sick and I couldn't sleep that night. I was so worried about my flatmates as I arrived and only the guys came out to say hi and I couldn't stop being upset, I've never really been out with friends as I was unwell in my last year at college and I basically had limited friends as I had to do my work in half the time to ensure I got my grades but I also had a disaster of a holiday with a group of girls which left me feeling suicidal. I felt under pressure there as it was a lively city (Liverpool).
I can't understand why I reacted like that as I had two years of this constant campaigning to get my place along with retakes and I think it just go to me as I know I can't deal with stress as I've been hospitalised twice with stress related conditions.
I have a deferred place for this year but this is my worry as I still feel sick at the thought of going. I know I sometimes want to go but other times I feel like I want to live for the time I've missed out on, no 'real' friends, bullied at school and hating college.
I've had a fair few horrendous memories and to top it off I was assaulted in January and have a case coming up soon but I can't help but have doubts, I was hoping to get a dog last year before Uni but I prioritised my grades but now I've been desperate again and I've got the opportunity now but I'm not sure if that's the right thing to do even though it would be a family thing.
Sorry for this rather long ramble, I'm on my phone, if anyone has any advice with this I'd be so grateful, I'm finding everything really difficult at the moment.
Thank you for listening.
Decision Making, can't get it right. Watch
- Thread Starter
- 08-03-2013 00:58
- 34 followers
- 20 badges
- 09-03-2013 13:58
It sounds like the OCD is the root of all of these problems. If one thing is out of place, it can cause sickness, worry and stress, as you have mentioned, and I think that all you need to do is plan ahead a little more. For example, ask your flatmates-to-be if you could meet up before you move in, stating your condition, and I'm sure they'll understand. You may need to explain to everyone you make friends with how easily things can affect you so that they are careful.
I'm sure you would find things much easier if you did this, because it would give you a taste of what's to come, and make you feel more comfortable around the people you would be staying with. However, travelling is not so easy to predict, and although you can organise yourself, thinsg such as trains being late, or buses being late can really set things off.
I'm not sure how you could overcome the whole thing, but just think more about planning ahead perhaps?
Hope that helps