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Being Pakistani: Does it come with a price? Watch

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    (Original post by study beats)
    wtf? dating and drinking is forbidden in our cultures...

    also she seems to be behaving like a crazy monkey, theres a limit to how you can act in a western culture....if she probably dressed up properly, talked to mature guys and had some respect for Pakistan then i would say its ok...

    but no...she probably consumes alcohol like insane....she says she wants to date every guy of every race, wtf r u serious, has she no shame?
    Good lord. What makes you think I don't have respect for my country? I love every bit of my heritage, and unlike you, I don't go around discriminating and acting like a bloody terrorist.
    People like you, are the reason why the rest of the world seems to think that all pakistanis are as you said 'crazy monkeys'.
    Oh and fyi, drinking is not 'forbidden' in our culture, I think religion was the word you were looking for, no?
    I know proffessors, doctors, teachers and bussinessmen; all of who drink socially. I've sat with them, talked to them, and they don't drink 'like insane'. Neither do I.
    But the way you JUDGE people without even knowing them...LOL.
    I think all your judgements are based on all those indian and hollywood movies you watch and then criticize later for their 'vulgarity'.
    Pooh. I've seen soo many like you, but not known many since I stay FAR away from your kind.
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    (Original post by Kizzerlah)
    I'm sorry, you actually think most Asian teenagers aren't drinking and dating?! She seems to be behaving like any normal 18-19 year old would who is from Britain. Just to bring you up to speed with the rest of Britain, (and if you knew this already I apologise) Asians in this country have been drinking and dating since the son and daughters of the families that moved here! Heck, teenagers in South Asia are drinking and dating now. Please if you wouldn't mind, it would be beneficial if you come out of the 1940's and join us in 2013 Thanks
    I LOVE you for saying this. Not because it 'supports' what I say, but because it's absolutely true.
    I don't live in Britain, I'm in Pakistan, but I've travelled a lot. But even here, I know a lot of people who drink. Most of my friends drink, including girls, and its not just them but adults too!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hahah, I'll PM you in a bit. Not going to show myself here though, since I've said too much for comfort.
    OUCH. I'm a shareef girl too okay? It's not like I'm NOT a virgin, I'll wait. But sex isn't the only thing :P
    ...Anyway, I guess all the anxiety is going to gobble me up, and its made me ask a jumble of questions.
    And as for the 'international dating dare', that was a joke! You don't actually think I'll date 200 guys?! Good lord, even my botox is going to expire by then. :P
    I'm not promiscuous, i'm just a bit...I don't know how to put, but I guess something like a tomboy? I'm just not very girly or romantic, I do seriously crazy stuff I shouldn't, but I dont sleep around. No. :P
    Ah that's all good about the internation dating thingy, and dunno tbf. You don't know what people can be like and from your PM, you seem like an OK sort of person

    Plenty of girls aren't exactly girly girls either., but don't worry you'll "fit in". I'll reply to your PM in a bit

    (Original post by study beats)
    what? you are insane...plz behave like a proper pakistani girl
    Now what's that then? Yeah maybe she shouldn't be drinking, but apart from that, can't see what she's doing wrong. I mean I like to live by "Live and let live"
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    (Original post by study beats)
    wtf? dating and drinking is forbidden in our cultures...

    also she seems to be behaving like a crazy monkey, theres a limit to how you can act in a western culture....if she probably dressed up properly, talked to mature guys and had some respect for Pakistan then i would say its ok...

    but no...she probably consumes alcohol like insane....she says she wants to date every guy of every race, wtf r u serious, has she no shame?
    Drining perhaps yeah. Dating kinda.

    Not really. I don't see how different it is to listen to metal, when others listen to other forms of "normal" music. So basically, not talking to you then? Cos you hardly sound mature...

    I criticise the hell out of Pakistan. I criticise the hell out of the UK. Why should I have "respect" for a country just because I have some sort of ties to it?

    And she drinks, but not excessively, and the bit about dating one guy from every country,was a joke. I mean, even I thought she wasn't joking at first, but she's explained it many times
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    (Original post by study beats)
    wtf? dating and drinking is forbidden in our cultures...

    also she seems to be behaving like a crazy monkey, theres a limit to how you can act in a western culture....if she probably dressed up properly, talked to mature guys and had some respect for Pakistan then i would say its ok...

    but no...she probably consumes alcohol like insane....she says she wants to date every guy of every race, wtf r u serious, has she no shame?

    i agree drinking and dating is forbidden in our cultures, it doesn't stop EVERYONE from doing it, whether its smoking/drinking/dating etc. IF people are growing up in a different culture to their parents you expect them to adapt its human nature. Especially with the world today being so much more smaller, with the internet someone in Australia can talk to someone in England in a matter of minutes.
    Acting like a crazy monkey? How in the world did you get to that conclusion? She doesn't dress properly? What's wrong with a girl wearing a skirt? its an item of clothing! And talk to mature guys? Where have you got the evidence she was talking to immature guys?

    She probably consumes alcohol like insane? No she probably drinks the amount any other Girl her age would do. Also if you actually sat and read what she put the "date a guy form every race" was a joke, The fact you took it seriously is just mind blowing.
    It would make everyone's life a lot easier if you stopped making assumptions, which in my opinion is embarrassing.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Good lord. What makes you think I don't have respect for my country? I love every bit of my heritage, and unlike you, I don't go around discriminating and acting like a bloody terrorist.
    People like you, are the reason why the rest of the world seems to think that all pakistanis are as you said 'crazy monkeys'.
    Oh and fyi, drinking is not 'forbidden' in our culture, I think religion was the word you were looking for, no?
    I know proffessors, doctors, teachers and bussinessmen; all of who drink socially. I've sat with them, talked to them, and they don't drink 'like insane'. Neither do I.
    But the way you JUDGE people without even knowing them...LOL.
    I think all your judgements are based on all those indian and hollywood movies you watch and then criticize later for their 'vulgarity'.
    Pooh. I've seen soo many like you, but not known many since I stay FAR away from your kind.
    r u calling me a terrorist? wow...i am giving u good advice here and u call me a terrorist...wow i hope u the best of luck in ur life, u really dont know what ur talking about
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    (Original post by Kizzerlah)
    i agree drinking and dating is forbidden in our cultures, it doesn't stop EVERYONE from doing it, whether its smoking/drinking/dating etc. IF people are growing up in a different culture to their parents you expect them to adapt its human nature. Especially with the world today being so much more smaller, with the internet someone in Australia can talk to someone in England in a matter of minutes.
    Acting like a crazy monkey? How in the world did you get to that conclusion? She doesn't dress properly? What's wrong with a girl wearing a skirt? its an item of clothing! And talk to mature guys? Where have you got the evidence she was talking to immature guys?

    She probably consumes alcohol like insane? No she probably drinks the amount any other Girl her age would do. Also if you actually sat and read what she put the "date a guy form every race" was a joke, The fact you took it seriously is just mind blowing.
    It would make everyone's life a lot easier if you stopped making assumptions, which in my opinion is embarrassing.
    so u think what she is doing is right? if u support these kind of people then they go off track and ruin their countries name
    • #4
    #4

    Well it seems you're giving your parents a hard time to be honest, i personally like a little bit of rock music myself but i don't go as far astrsy as you have. I know my boundaries, as should you. It's the asian culture, and that's how it always has been. Rather than trying to act like a white girl you need to accept that you're from an ethnic background. Also im assuming you're muslim as you are pakistani, so are you neglecting your prayers? Your parents must be infuriated, lost and heartbroken that you have done so many haraam acts. Why are you doing this? ask yourself, and you won't get a 'fixed' marriage' if you find a good muslim boy who is in practise with his faith then inform you're parents, they may consider it!
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    Hello I am currently a student doing my dissertation this year could you please fill out my questionnaire it will only take 2 mins of your time http://www.surveymonkey.com/s/V3CZCZB Thank you it is mainly for muslim women
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Before I ask anything, I guess, I'll just introduce myself from the very 'root' of my question: I'm 19, I'm a girl, a metalhead and a Pakistani.

    Where I live, I'm considered a freak, but I guess a girl trying her best screamo vocals will be considered a freak anywhere so that isn't really a problem.
    Problem is, if I get the grades I'll have to pack my bags for uni soon (Sheffield, hopefully or Reading), and that has made me anxious.

    I was really excited at first, since I can finally breathe and do what I want without being judged within seconds, but then I googled stuff and now I just feel....confused.
    Now, I feel that I'll be stuck in the in-between. I drink here, smoke sometimes, date men, go to parties, but from what I've heard of the Pakistani's living or studying in UK, I guess I'm far from the stereotype and the 'ideal' pakistani chick so I certainly won't be welcomed in those circles. BUT, then with the kind of opinion people of other nationalities seem to hold about pakistani's and muslims I guess I wouldn't even be welcome anywhere outside my own ethnic circle.

    What if I'm left to shrivel and die alone. Pakistani girls usually don't go to nightclubs, they don't even date most of the time,they certainly don't like metal or even basic rock and sometimes the one's who 'party', can um, do a bit tooo much of this. I'm a nerd of sorts so I'm certainly not going to abandon studying.
    And then there are the boys. I'm not judging since i've met amazing people here but I've always seen that most of the guys who leave for studying turn into total douchebags there, and the first thing they want to do is get into your pants.
    And then there are the gigs... I LOVE going to gigs, and discovering underground bands and stuff. What about the music scene? Will I have to let go of that too?
    Honestly, I'm kind of scared.

    What happens if I wear a dress or shorts? Am I going to be judged for being a 'sinner' or a 'wannabe' or something?

    It's just three years, and I'll be back in my hometown and probably be obliged to marry some weird douche and give him babies. All I want is to live for those three years, so that my life isn't entirely a waste.

    And what about my not so romantic 'love' life? :O Will I be set aside when it comes to the dating game? The only boys I like here are the ones who like the same music as me, have a piercing or two and can just generally have fun and not act like their forty and employed or something. And men like those are RARE in my country. I've only met one, but I guess I've friendzoned him and there's no going back so um, yeah.
    I once promised a friend I'll only die peacefully once I've dated atleast one guy from every country so I have my own personal record
    But seriously, how bad will it get?

    You can post anonymously I guess, so please be as honest as you can, be mean or rude or anything I won't really mind lol

    Sorry for such a LONG post. I don't even know how to structure this question, I'm just writing everything that popped up in my head.
    But basically all I'm asking is what is the pakistani-girl stereotype, what is generally thought of them, and how will I be treated if I'm not as 'pious' as expected, and just a little lacking when it comes to feminine traits.
    Guess that's it.
    Thank you
    I've got a Pakistani friend living in Sheffield and she drinks,smokes and parties hard and her bf is lovely!
    • #5
    #5

    Just wow. I can't believe the amount of people on this thread agreeing with the OP. I thought Pakistani's were Muslim and didn't condone this kind of behavior. OP it seems like you want to distance yourself from your culture and religion as far as possible and I think once you go to uni it will get even worse, I can sense that your worried about fitting in with your own people and rightly so because majority of decent pakistani girls wouln't want to be associated with you, hence tarnishing their reputation. I have many asian friends and they're not at all like you, obviously no one is perfect but I would advise you to learn more about your religion and your culture. I don't know about your issues about your culture but my advise for every Muslim who has gone of the rails is to seek guidance from Allah.
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    (Original post by study beats)
    so u think what she is doing is right? if u support these kind of people then they go off track and ruin their countries name
    Yeah she shouldn't really be drinking, but otherwise I can't really see what she's doing that's so wrong?
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    If you can't tell study beats is a troll by now, you never will. Evidently just taking the piss out of Islamic culture...
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    (Original post by MattKneale)
    If you can't tell study beats is a troll by now, you never will. Evidently just taking the piss out of Islamic culture...
    ???

    i am guiding her to the right path of islam? what are you talking about??? is this guy serious, embarassing himself
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    (Original post by study beats)
    ???

    i am guiding her to the right path of islam? what are you talking about??? is this guy serious, embarassing himself
    Sorry oh Holy one.
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    (Original post by MattKneale)
    If you can't tell study beats is a troll by now, you never will. Evidently just taking the piss out of Islamic culture...
    sadly there are quite a few people who actually believe the sort of nonsense he's posting.

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Well it seems you're giving your parents a hard time to be honest, i personally like a little bit of rock music myself but i don't go as far astrsy as you have. I know my boundaries, as should you. It's the asian culture, and that's how it always has been. Rather than trying to act like a white girl you need to accept that you're from an ethnic background. Also im assuming you're muslim as you are pakistani, so are you neglecting your prayers? Your parents must be infuriated, lost and heartbroken that you have done so many haraam acts. Why are you doing this? ask yourself, and you won't get a 'fixed' marriage' if you find a good muslim boy who is in practise with his faith then inform you're parents, they may consider it!
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Just wow. I can't believe the amount of people on this thread agreeing with the OP. I thought Pakistani's were Muslim and didn't condone this kind of behavior. OP it seems like you want to distance yourself from your culture and religion as far as possible and I think once you go to uni it will get even worse, I can sense that your worried about fitting in with your own people and rightly so because majority of decent pakistani girls wouln't want to be associated with you, hence tarnishing their reputation. I have many asian friends and they're not at all like you, obviously no one is perfect but I would advise you to learn more about your religion and your culture. I don't know about your issues about your culture but my advise for every Muslim who has gone of the rails is to seek guidance from Allah.
    Given that you're both so passionate about your beliefs, and clearly adament that your judgements of what Pakistani culture is, and how Pakistani girls should behave, are 100% accurate and undeniable, why are you hiding behind the "Anonymous" veil? Perhaps this same sense of cowardice is brought on by a fear of defying the negative, intolerant and oppressive set of principles on which you have been raised?

    Don't tar us all with the same narrow-minded brush - you don't represent all Pakistanis, and you have no right to impose your flawed beliefs onto others. Just because the OP has interests that don't match those of a stereotypical Pakistani (whatever you think that is), it does not mean she is "tarnishing" anyone's reputation, or is at all in need of "guidance". She has not mentioned anything that indicates she is doing any harm to others, nor is she doing anything that irresponsible. There is nothing wrong with liking a particular brand of music, or adopting a liberal yet responsible lifestyle. Far more damaging and shameful than that is judging someone for being a bit different, and attempting to force anyone to conform to your own idea of what's "right".
    • #6
    #6

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Before I ask anything, I guess, I'll just introduce myself from the very 'root' of my question: I'm 19, I'm a girl, a metalhead and a Pakistani.

    Where I live, I'm considered a freak, but I guess a girl trying her best screamo vocals will be considered a freak anywhere so that isn't really a problem.
    Problem is, if I get the grades I'll have to pack my bags for uni soon (Sheffield, hopefully or Reading), and that has made me anxious.

    I was really excited at first, since I can finally breathe and do what I want without being judged within seconds, but then I googled stuff and now I just feel....confused.
    Now, I feel that I'll be stuck in the in-between. I drink here, smoke sometimes, date men, go to parties, but from what I've heard of the Pakistani's living or studying in UK, I guess I'm far from the stereotype and the 'ideal' pakistani chick so I certainly won't be welcomed in those circles. BUT, then with the kind of opinion people of other nationalities seem to hold about pakistani's and muslims I guess I wouldn't even be welcome anywhere outside my own ethnic circle.

    What if I'm left to shrivel and die alone. Pakistani girls usually don't go to nightclubs, they don't even date most of the time,they certainly don't like metal or even basic rock and sometimes the one's who 'party', can um, do a bit tooo much of this. I'm a nerd of sorts so I'm certainly not going to abandon studying.
    And then there are the boys. I'm not judging since i've met amazing people here but I've always seen that most of the guys who leave for studying turn into total douchebags there, and the first thing they want to do is get into your pants.
    And then there are the gigs... I LOVE going to gigs, and discovering underground bands and stuff. What about the music scene? Will I have to let go of that too?
    Honestly, I'm kind of scared.

    What happens if I wear a dress or shorts? Am I going to be judged for being a 'sinner' or a 'wannabe' or something?

    It's just three years, and I'll be back in my hometown and probably be obliged to marry some weird douche and give him babies. All I want is to live for those three years, so that my life isn't entirely a waste.

    And what about my not so romantic 'love' life? :O Will I be set aside when it comes to the dating game? The only boys I like here are the ones who like the same music as me, have a piercing or two and can just generally have fun and not act like their forty and employed or something. And men like those are RARE in my country. I've only met one, but I guess I've friendzoned him and there's no going back so um, yeah.
    I once promised a friend I'll only die peacefully once I've dated atleast one guy from every country so I have my own personal record
    But seriously, how bad will it get?

    You can post anonymously I guess, so please be as honest as you can, be mean or rude or anything I won't really mind lol

    Sorry for such a LONG post. I don't even know how to structure this question, I'm just writing everything that popped up in my head.
    But basically all I'm asking is what is the pakistani-girl stereotype, what is generally thought of them, and how will I be treated if I'm not as 'pious' as expected, and just a little lacking when it comes to feminine traits.
    Guess that's it.
    Thank you
    I'm of Pakistani origin, also at University; I go out, drink, wear shorts and dresses, date guys, listen to whatever music I want (rock, sometimes metal), etc etc. It isn't an issue.

    Religion-wise, I'm an atheist, and I don't feel tied down to my culture - but I am totally comfortable with my origin before anyone comments.
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    There are loads of Pakistani people who smoke and go out clubbing at the uni I go to, and it doesn't matter what nationality you are as people are normally very open and friendly to everyone. I don't consider screamo music to make you a freak because everyone likes different music so I'm sure you will find people with similar tastes.

    Sorry If none of this helps as I just speed-skimmed through the op because it was too long
    • #1
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    #1

    (Original post by MattKneale)
    If you can't tell study beats is a troll by now, you never will. Evidently just taking the piss out of Islamic culture...
    If only...
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Mathaddict)
    sadly there are quite a few people who actually believe the sort of nonsense he's posting.





    Given that you're both so passionate about your beliefs, and clearly adament that your judgements of what Pakistani culture is, and how Pakistani girls should behave, are 100% accurate and undeniable, why are you hiding behind the "Anonymous" veil? Perhaps this same sense of cowardice is brought on by a fear of defying the negative, intolerant and oppressive set of principles on which you have been raised?

    Don't tar us all with the same narrow-minded brush - you don't represent all Pakistanis, and you have no right to impose your flawed beliefs onto others. Just because the OP has interests that don't match those of a stereotypical Pakistani (whatever you think that is), it does not mean she is "tarnishing" anyone's reputation, or is at all in need of "guidance". She has not mentioned anything that indicates she is doing any harm to others, nor is she doing anything that irresponsible. There is nothing wrong with liking a particular brand of music, or adopting a liberal yet responsible lifestyle. Far more damaging and shameful than that is judging someone for being a bit different, and attempting to force anyone to conform to your own idea of what's "right".
    Thank you! I almost lost hope about this thread, and stopped checking it. :P I'm assuming you're Pakistani yourself, and its good to know I'm not the only one with that ideology. I actually have a lot of friends who are living a balanced, 'liberal' life and are really nice, really intelligent people. It's kind of sickening when people build such a strict 'Pakistani woman stereotype' when there is actually no stereotype to begin with. I've seen a range of girls where I study, and only about 5% of them are as 'religious' and 'decent' as that guy who keeps commenting (forgot his name ) thinks.
 
 
 
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