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Is this too forward? Watch

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    Hey, so there's a girl at my sixth form who always makes eye contact with me and in too much of a wimp to strike up a conversation with her because she's absolutely stunning. Could I just ask her to go for a coffee? Or is this too forward? I'd panic if I had to strike up a random conversation in front of her friends.
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    (Original post by abhiksetia)
    Go for it mate. I had a similar issue for about 4 ****ing months, but I eventually gathered the courage to ask this girl who I'd been literally starting at for months, but whenever she saw me looking she'd smile, I'd smile back etc. Was difficult to get a minute alone with her, cause she always seemed surrounded by her hoard of friends, but I just went up to her, asked her if she had a minute, told her I found her really pretty and would like to get to know her better, if she liked over coffee or a drink or two.

    Thought she was out of my league, but have been seeing her for 3 years now.
    You my friend, are an inspiration!!! Congrats mate. Cheers, I'll give it a go
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    (Original post by abhiksetia)
    Go for it mate. I had a similar issue for about 4 ****ing months, but I eventually gathered the courage to ask this girl who I'd been literally starting at for months, but whenever she saw me looking she'd smile, I'd smile back etc. Was difficult to get a minute alone with her, cause she always seemed surrounded by her hoard of friends, but I just went up to her, asked her if she had a minute, told her I found her really pretty and would like to get to know her better, if she liked over coffee or a drink or two.

    Thought she was out of my league, but have been seeing her for 3 years now.
    Braver than me!
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    (Original post by MrBean1994)
    You my friend, are an inspiration!!! Congrats mate. Cheers, I'll give it a go
    Perhaps it'd be easier if you had a chat first, smile, and casually slot it in somewhere.
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    (Original post by abhiksetia)
    I'd never successfully asked a girl out before. Sweat like a maniac all morning, wore my nicest shirt and an absolute **** ton of cologne, good thing cause of all the sweat. To be fair, it was the first time I was asking a girl out after I'd gone from being grossly overweight to in good shape over a 2 year transformation.
    Best thing to remember (what got me to finally ask her was), if she says she's not interested, you'll be over it in a week tops, you're in sixth form, i'm sure you have a good friends group etc. If she says yes, it'll be ****ing boss. Getting the bird you fancy to agree to a first date is probably one of the most elated feelings you can feel imo...you'll be buzzing for days, that is until you forget your wallet on the first date and she has to pay for the coffee. Seriously, don't do that, cause I did. ****ing idiot that I am.

    Haha sounds hilarious! Yeah I'll give it a go. Oh man, if I pull this off I'm going to change my name to 'Messiah' :P seriously, she's absolutely gorgeous. Did you just say 'I think you're really pretty, would you like to go for a drink?'?
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    (Original post by Pride)
    Perhaps it'd be easier if you had a chat first, smile, and casually slot it in somewhere.
    Im finding it hard to think of how to start a random conversation though. She's never alone :/
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    (Original post by MrBean1994)
    Haha sounds hilarious! Yeah I'll give it a go. Oh man, if I pull this off I'm going to change my name to 'Messiah' :P seriously, she's absolutely gorgeous. Did you just say 'I think you're really pretty, would you like to go for a drink?'?
    Whatever happens, let us know!
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    (Original post by MrBean1994)
    Im finding it hard to think of how to start a random conversation though. She's never alone :/
    okay, well then you probably don't want to just go in, interrupt their conversation, and ask her out in front of all her friends. Perhaps if you can, you could try to chat amongst her friends as well. It's not always easy to do this, I understand. Otherwise, have a chat when she's by herself, and it's quiet.

    Keep it laid back, say hello, have you got common interests (perhaps you just got your a-level results recently, did she get what she wanted? Has she revised for the upcoming test? etc.) Conversations can start from there, just like you would any other person you weren't interested in romantically lol. Then introduce yourself, smile, and maybe over time, with a little familiarity it'll get easier to ask her whether she'd like to (whatever it is you wanted to do). Keep it light-hearted, keep it laid-back, and smile.
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    (Original post by Occams Chainsaw)
    Whatever happens, let us know!
    yes, seconded, please come back. It's always nice when you get recurring stories here on TSR.
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    Go for it! if she makes eye contact with you then she probably likes you.
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    (Original post by abhiksetia)
    Haha you should! Let us know how it goes mate, wish you the best of luck.

    Trust me, my approach was about as stupid as it gets, but I kind of got the feeling she was interested cause she used to smile at me when there was eye contact. I hypothesized that either she was just really nice and friendly or she fancied me, which kind of lead me to believe that even if she did say no, it'd be in a nice, non-soul crushing manner.
    She was with some friends leaving the lunch hall. I made walked up to the group of 5, I felt about 3 feet tall, which is about 40% of my height , and asked if she had a second. Said I found her really pretty, and had wanted to ask her out for a while now, and wanted to try to get to know her better over a coffee or some drinks if she'd like.

    That said, I'm pretty sure there are better ways of asking a girl for a coffee/date, but the questions pretty basic, and keeping it simple probably reduces any chance of you making an idiot of yourself (not saying you would, just that I thought I would so I decided to keep it simple )
    I'm curious -- could you share what her reply was? I'm just trying to understand what was going through her head -- ie. if she was happy you had (finally) asked because she had spotted you too; flattered that someone had asked her; embarrassed etc.

    Probably a bit of everything but I think her exact reaction will give the general idea!

    Cheers man! The only reason I ask is I have a similar problem. I catch this girl looking at me quite a lot and when I catch her she looks away -- she usually seem shy, sort of outgoing but won't talk to me unless I say something to her!
    I'm contemplating whether the best way to go about it is to try to become friendly (and risk the friendzone) or just ask her out (and risk her thinking I'm coming on too strong).

    She did also ask for some help with some classwork even though I'm not in any of her lectures. I'm not sure if that is a good sign but I think so

    You know what, I never usually find it difficult to talk to girls and ask them out. This one is particularly tricky though :/
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    (Original post by abhiksetia)
    She'd never dated anyone before either like me, so I think we were both kind of clueless
    When I asked her for the coffee/drink, she smiled, and said she'd wondered when I'd finally make my move. I said something along the lines of well, I didn't know if she was interested to be fair, and she was like you're not very good at reading a girls signals are you. I gave a very blank stare I believe. Not one of my proudest moments lol.
    She was awesome though, asked for a pen a pen, grabbed my hand, wrote her number on my right hand and said she's free on the weekend.
    Ah, the famous 'obvious signs' we are meant to read. hahaha.

    Nice story though. Made me feel a bit more confident. Just worried it's gunna backfire. I enjoy our game of taking it in turns to look at each other and then blush/look away. Would rather that than a straight no!
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    (Original post by abhiksetia)
    Could not agree more mate.

    Its a fun period, the looking game, just make sure it doesn't overstretch. Chances are if the girl is pretty (which i'm sure she is given you're clearly attracted to her) there'll be other guys interested at some point. Just a tip...act on it if its clear as day that she's playing the 'looking game', and blushing and smiling etc. There's no way she doesn't fancy you if that's happening. Then again, what do we know. I've been ****ing dating this girl for 3 years and there are times when I'm suppose to know things "because I'm just supposed to know" :lol:
    She's turned down 2 guys I know of, sort of makes me nervous. Luckily, after talking to them, she wasn't playing the looking game with them (that she said).
    Your right though -- time to man up haha

    Congrats btw, what came from that 1 moment of bravery is awesome!
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    (Original post by abhiksetia)
    She'd never dated anyone before either like me, so I think we were both kind of clueless
    When I asked her for the coffee/drink, she smiled, and said she'd wondered when I'd finally make my move. I said something along the lines of well, I didn't know if she was interested to be fair, and she was like you're not very good at reading a girls signals are you. I gave a very blank stare I believe. Not one of my proudest moments lol.
    She was awesome though, asked for a pen, grabbed my hand, wrote her number on my right hand and said she's free on the weekend.
    **** me mate, you've found a keeper!!!!! Lucky *******
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    (Original post by Occams Chainsaw)
    She's turned down 2 guys I know of, sort of makes me nervous. Luckily, after talking to them, she wasn't playing the looking game with them (that she said).
    Your right though -- time to man up haha

    Congrats btw, what came from that 1 moment of bravery is awesome!
    If she does the looking game with you she likes you, trust me. Those are the tactics that I use if I dont know the guy that well
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    (Original post by heirloom)
    If she does the looking game with you she likes you, trust me. Those are the tactics that I use if I dont know the guy that well
    Tbf, considering it's not a very discrete tactic and can be misread, why do you do it? You could be less forward and more obvious by doing a number of things.

    Anyway, thanks. I think I'm going to wait until I catch her playing the looking game once more before asking her out. Already crying inside!

    Luckily, I have until Monday to pluck up the courage... or rationalise giving up on her as 'character building'. Whichever comes first.
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    (Original post by Occams Chainsaw)
    Tbf, considering it's not a very discrete tactic and can be misread, why do you do it? You could be less forward and more obvious by doing a number of things.

    Anyway, thanks. I think I'm going to wait until I catch her playing the looking game once more before asking her out. Already crying inside!

    Luckily, I have until Monday to pluck up the courage... or rationalise giving up on her as 'character building'. Whichever comes first.
    Well often I just cant help myself but stare sometimes and I dont do anything else because I'm too shy. Plus in my sixth form its quite small so gossip travels quick. If I were to get rejected everyone would know within an hour. And please expand on the less forward and more obvious techniques, I'm curious.
    And yeah just make sure your not imagining things and then do it
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    Saw this girl holding hands with the biggest ******** ever. Dresses stupidly and walks like he's the dogs *******s. Why?! Why did this happen?!
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    yea just do it at the end of the day you might as well instead of living a life of what ifs
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    (Original post by Occams Chainsaw)
    Already crying inside!

    Luckily, I have until Monday to pluck up the courage... or rationalise giving up on her as 'character building'. Whichever comes first.
    Lol, the crying inside implies you are pressurising yourself way too much, just like I do hahaha, the more you think about it the harder it will be to achieve, I'd say give up thinking about it and then when you see her just go straight up and say hey.
 
 
 
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