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Faking it to keep boyfriend happy... Watch

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    So, boyfriend and I have a great sex life, on the whole. I come from everything we do, except him giving me oral, which he LOVES and I just find kind of uncomfortable (physically - not emotionally). He finds it frustrating that I don't come from it, and from a couple of comments he's made it seems he's never had a problem pleasing a girl that way before. So I've started faking orgasm, and he resurfaces looking really happy, bless him. Is it bad that I'm doing this? I've tried giving him tips as to what I like (an ex of mine had no trouble making me come through oral, so I've tried to remember what he did, but it's difficult to tell, tbh) which hasn't helped.

    So I guess I want to know how people here would feel about it; would you rather know it does pretty much nothing for me, or is it ok to fake? I don't mind doing so, because he absolutely LOVES giving me oral and would hate to stop...
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    Personally, If I don't please my woman in the bed I'd like to know about it. Would be quite awkward being together for a long time and just randomly finding out, because you wont be able to fake it forever.
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    I would never fake, if it's not working it's important that you work out why and how to please each other instead of pretending to be satisfied.
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    It's better if you work on it together, faking it doesn't reqally help anyone.
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    Truth is better tbh. Personally for me I wouldn't like being lied to or having secrets kept from me.
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    He'll probably find out if one day you don't fake it well enough and that conversation will be much more awkward and upsetting for him than just telling him straight away.
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    If I was your man I wouldn't care that you're faking, s'long as I get my nut
    • #2
    #2

    Different people are good at different things! I wouldn't dwell too much on him not being the best at giving you oral, just try and guide him the best you can. Sorry mods if this is inappropriate but I'm not sure how else to say it, but maybe you could ask him to :thumbsup: as well as :tong:?

    I'd also advice not doing anything sexual for your benefit for a while before he tries oral, so you're more likely to come as you haven't in a while.
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    Well you have to continue now because you've already lied to him. Stupid move.. If you just told him that you hated it, he would've understood.
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    I never understood why girls faked. You don't have an orgasm and your boyfriend thinks he's doing a good job so he won't put any effort in to improve. No one wins.
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    NEVER ever fake!

    I faked in my first relationship because I thought my boyfriend couldn't make me come. I kept it up for the entire 16 months we were together, and the sex was terrible.

    Now I'm with someone who took the time who got to know what I like and learnt to please me. Even though it took time, now he makes me come better than I can make myself come. He says he's never found it as difficult to make any girl come before me, so maybe we're in the same boat.

    Trust me, it's worth it and will make your sex life 100x better not to fake, simply because your partner needs to know what you like, and it's not very honest to fake either.
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    I did tell him at first, and tried to give him pointers. No improvement, so resorted to faking. Sorry if that wasn't clear in OP; did mention I'd tried to give him tips.
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    Maybe you're thinking about it too much and not allowing yourself to let go. It might be psychological instead of physical.
    • #3
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    (Original post by kat91s)
    NEVER ever fake!

    I faked in my first relationship because I thought my boyfriend couldn't make me come. I kept it up for the entire 16 months we were together, and the sex was terrible.

    Now I'm with someone who took the time who got to know what I like and learnt to please me. Even though it took time, now he makes me come better than I can make myself come. He says he's never found it as difficult to make any girl come before me, so maybe we're in the same boat.

    Trust me, it's worth it and will make your sex life 100x better not to fake, simply because your partner needs to know what you like, and it's not very honest to fake either.
    What happens if you're not faking, but your boyfriend still seems to think he's satisfying you in bed? I've been with my boyfriend now for 5 months, and I have never come from sex, and have only come once outside of sex from fooling around. I have never made it seem like I've orgasmed either, apart from a bit of moaning when I'm enjoying myself. I know I should talk to him about it, but I feel really awkward about doing it, as a) he seems to think I'm enjoying myself, and b) I don't want him to feel that I'm criticising him.
    Its really difficult to make me orgasm, but my last boyfriend used to put a lot of effort into making sure I orgasmed almost every time we had sex, so it is possible. I kind of feel like my current boyfriend is almost unintentionally selfish in bed, he seems to think that as long as he gives me a bit of foreplay, he can just have sex until he orgasms, with no regard for whether I have or not.
    I'm getting so frustrated, and know I should talk to him but I just find it so hard
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    Worst thing you can do is fake it
    • #4
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    I faked a lot with the guy I was seeing for a few months - he could only make me come from oral (which, when he did, was fantastic!), and even then it didn't happen every time. I'd feel bad if it was taking a while 'coz I'd feel like he was getting bored (despite the fact that I'd spend hours giving him blow jobs!), and he'd sometimes be almost aggressively impatient so I figured it was easier to fake seeing as I got most pleasure from pleasuring him anyway. Looking back (he was an overall ****) I'm really pissed he got to believe he was an amazing sex god when I can probably count on my hands the number of times he actually achieved the goal!

    I suppose once you've started faking you've got a problem because he's going to think he knows what he has to do to make you come, and if you start being realistic he'll be like 'What's going on here then?' Maybe try different positions? The angle that your hips are at can make a massive difference, I find it harder to come if I'm just sitting or lying down during oral.
    • #5
    #5

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I faked a lot with the guy I was seeing for a few months - he could only make me come from oral (which, when he did, was fantastic!), and even then it didn't happen every time. I'd feel bad if it was taking a while 'coz I'd feel like he was getting bored (despite the fact that I'd spend hours giving him blow jobs!), and he'd sometimes be almost aggressively impatient so I figured it was easier to fake seeing as I got most pleasure from pleasuring him anyway. Looking back (he was an overall ****) I'm really pissed he got to believe he was an amazing sex god when I can probably count on my hands the number of times he actually achieved the goal!

    I suppose once you've started faking you've got a problem because he's going to think he knows what he has to do to make you come, and if you start being realistic he'll be like 'What's going on here then?' Maybe try different positions? The angle that your hips are at can make a massive difference, I find it harder to come if I'm just sitting or lying down during oral.
    What position are you in when you receive oral then?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Different people are good at different things! I wouldn't dwell too much on him not being the best at giving you oral, just try and guide him the best you can. Sorry mods if this is inappropriate but I'm not sure how else to say it, but maybe you could ask him to :thumbsup: as well as :tong:?

    I'd also advice not doing anything sexual for your benefit for a while before he tries oral, so you're more likely to come as you haven't in a while.
    Best use of smilies ever!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    What happens if you're not faking, but your boyfriend still seems to think he's satisfying you in bed? I've been with my boyfriend now for 5 months, and I have never come from sex, and have only come once outside of sex from fooling around. I have never made it seem like I've orgasmed either, apart from a bit of moaning when I'm enjoying myself. I know I should talk to him about it, but I feel really awkward about doing it, as a) he seems to think I'm enjoying myself, and b) I don't want him to feel that I'm criticising him.
    Its really difficult to make me orgasm, but my last boyfriend used to put a lot of effort into making sure I orgasmed almost every time we had sex, so it is possible. I kind of feel like my current boyfriend is almost unintentionally selfish in bed, he seems to think that as long as he gives me a bit of foreplay, he can just have sex until he orgasms, with no regard for whether I have or not.
    I'm getting so frustrated, and know I should talk to him but I just find it so hard
    Hey I know it's really difficult and feels awkward and embarrassing, especially when you're trying to consider the other person's feelings! It's difficult for me to orgasm too, unless someone really makes the effort to get to know what I like, so it's something I've been through with a couple of partners now.

    I would suggest starting a general conversation about how you both think your sex life is going - ask him if there's anything he would change, or if there's anything new he would like to try. Use this as an opportunity to tell him that although you enjoy what he's doing, you would really like to have a full orgasm.

    It is so important to be able to talk openly and honestly, and also to give yourselves plenty of time to experiment and get to know each other. Don't rush or put too much pressure on him or yourself.

    A great way to get started is to let him try different things with you, while you directly tell him what feels good and what doesn't. I discovered new things that work for me, because my boyfriend suggested them! Another way is to let him watch you, and pick up techniques you would use on yourself.

    I hope this helps a little.
 
 
 
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