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I am having problems with a student Watch

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    I recently got my first teaching job at a middle/high school. My niece (by marriage) is one of my students and has been giving me a hard time at school. On Thursday she was texting in my lesson so I took her phone off her and she told me to [email protected]@@ off. I made her stay behind after school and she just did homework. She is 13 so should not be swearing.

    At the end I offered her a lift home and she just told me to push off and that she hates me. My husband and I always go over to his sisters house on Friday evenings and we went as usual. I always spend time with her but she just hid in her room. When I went up I gave her, her phone back and asked for a hug. She came over and pushed me out of her room.

    I was asked to babysit next friday and saturday evening and I said yes but she had a fit saying "I don't want that [email protected]@@ looking after me. I don't need her. I can look after Laura (her little sister) by myself." I sat down with her and asked why she was so angry and she just hit me. I am going over to my sister in laws tonight to talk about it. What should I say to her? Should I get something to bring to her? Please help I hate it when my niece wont talk.
    Has any other teachers had problems with family relationships when they were teaching
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    (Original post by Jennyobrien)
    I recently got my first teaching job at a middle/high school. My niece (by marriage) is one of my students and has been giving me a hard time at school. On Thursday she was texting in my lesson so I took her phone off her and she told me to [email protected]@@ off. I made her stay behind after school and she just did homework. She is 13 so should not be swearing.

    At the end I offered her a lift home and she just told me to push off and that she hates me. My husband and I always go over to his sisters house on Friday evenings and we went as usual. I always spend time with her but she just hid in her room. When I went up I gave her, her phone back and asked for a hug. She came over and pushed me out of her room.

    I was asked to babysit next friday and saturday evening and I said yes but she had a fit saying "I don't want that [email protected]@@ looking after me. I don't need her. I can look after Laura (her little sister) by myself." I sat down with her and asked why she was so angry and she just hit me. I am going over to my sister in laws tonight to talk about it. What should I say to her? Should I get something to bring to her? Please help I hate it when my niece wont talk.
    Has any other teachers had problems with family relationships when they were teaching
    Stop trying so hard tbh, don't just give in you've gotta teach her some manors, shes taking advantage of you... she needs discipline, if you keep giving her phone back shes obviously going to keep treating you badly. Shes a very moody teenager so I'd just approach her when shes ready to be mature, for now just ignore her if she asks for something and teach her how to respect others by not giving into her
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    The thing is I don't want me niece to start spreading rumours about me around the school. She has already told her class that I am a cow and that no one should listen to me. It is my first teaching job and I don't want anyone to think I don't have control
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    Sanction her like you would any other student. Follow through with the school's behaviour system. How come the school lets you teach someone who you know outside school (a relative, in this case)? I'm sure you have to declare this before you are given the placement.
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    (Original post by Jennyobrien)
    The thing is I don't want me niece to start spreading rumours about me around the school. She has already told her class that I am a cow and that no one should listen to me. It is my first teaching job and I don't want anyone to think I don't have control
    Her class must be easily convinced then... a cow really? I'd perhaps talk to parent/guardian of her about her awful behaviour actually hurting your career, sometimes students need to see the realisation of the damage they're doing... I'm 16 but I know these kind of people who never shut up, throw insults and get into fights its completely stupidity in pre alevel years. You have perfect control if you take her phone (if she uses it again) and confiscate possesions, then people will either get very annoyed by you or realise that phones are not allowed in the class-room. People like her prevented me from exceeding a B/C in my gcses
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    (Original post by Jennyobrien)
    I recently got my first teaching job at a middle/high school. My niece (by marriage) is one of my students and has been giving me a hard time at school. On Thursday she was texting in my lesson so I took her phone off her and she told me to [email protected]@@ off. I made her stay behind after school and she just did homework. She is 13 so should not be swearing.

    At the end I offered her a lift home and she just told me to push off and that she hates me. My husband and I always go over to his sisters house on Friday evenings and we went as usual. I always spend time with her but she just hid in her room. When I went up I gave her, her phone back and asked for a hug. She came over and pushed me out of her room.

    I was asked to babysit next friday and saturday evening and I said yes but she had a fit saying "I don't want that [email protected]@@ looking after me. I don't need her. I can look after Laura (her little sister) by myself." I sat down with her and asked why she was so angry and she just hit me. I am going over to my sister in laws tonight to talk about it. What should I say to her? Should I get something to bring to her? Please help I hate it when my niece wont talk.
    Has any other teachers had problems with family relationships when they were teaching
    bad parenting, no child should be swearing at that age, best to tell her mum about the situation then talk to her with her mum there with her, ask her what her problem is and sort it out, after all she is your niece and you are doing whats best for her, make sure she doesnt go off the track and end up being one of those nasty people that there are today.
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    If talking to your sister in law doesn't solve it, don't hessitate to go to her head of year. You can only do so much.
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    (Original post by MOTORMADX)
    bad parenting, no child should be swearing at that age, best to tell her mum about the situation then talk to her with her mum there with her, ask her what her problem is and sort it out, after all she is your niece and you are doing whats best for her, make sure she doesnt go off the track and end up being one of those nasty people that there are today.
    Often it has little to do with parenting, but influence of friends. At that age I swore in the company of my friends, as did many kids. My parents knew nothing.
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    (Original post by Jennyobrien)
    The thing is I don't want me niece to start spreading rumours about me around the school. She has already told her class that I am a cow and that no one should listen to me. It is my first teaching job and I don't want anyone to think I don't have control
    To be honest she sounds like a spoilt little ****. Don't take her anything as it will reaffirm her bad attitude.

    She needs her mother or father to speak to her sensibly, and punish her if necessary, but it can't come from you. She probably doesn't see you as a rightful authority figure, not being a blood relation. I am not surprised by her behaviour if her parents let her get away with calling you a c***.

    That said, she is a teenager. She obviously feels you are undermining her social life somehow - taking her phone and giving her detention in her mind would probably have 'embarrassed' her in front of her classmates. In her mind it's probably a matter of deep shame to be related to a teacher. I don't think it would be out of place for you to request not to teach her class. My Mum was a teacher at my school and she wasn't even allowed to teach me.

    I really do sympathise, because if a single student goes out of their way to undermine you for no reason it's very difficult to deal with. I think the best course of action is to;

    1. Informally make your head of department aware of the situation - say it's a family matter and you are sorting it out, but cover your back in case of any trouble.
    2. Ask your husband (sensitively) to ask his family (or do it directly as you think is most appropriate - remember people don't like their children being criticised so you have to be very nice about it) to talk to her.
    3. If you can (though I know it's your first job), try to avoid teaching her at school, and if you do then treat her like any student as much as you can. Don't let her get away with things, but don't discipline her any more than you have to.
    4. If she does anything good, reward her.
    5. Act completely professionally and in control in class. It's entirely about the act. Children aren't stupid - if her friends sense that you are still in control and that you are fair and friendly then they will ignore her comments.

    Sorry to hear about this - hope it goes well
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    Thanks the thing is her parents did do something about it. The did ground her. I remember getting a text from her saying "now I am grounded and its all your fault" I hate to see her upset. I was planning on doing something fun with her and her sister on friday and saturday night but don't know what because she won't even speak to me. I am also scared I teach her tomorrow afternoon and I am actually scared
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    (Original post by Jennyobrien)
    Thanks the thing is her parents did do something about it. The did ground her. I remember getting a text from her saying "now I am grounded and its all your fault" I hate to see her upset. I was planning on doing something fun with her and her sister on friday and saturday night but don't know what because she won't even speak to me. I am also scared I teach her tomorrow afternoon and I am actually scared
    Stop being scared of her and grow up your an adult now, adults should discipline their students and not give them special treatment, be professional
 
 
 
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