The Student Room Group

Picking yourself up/getting out of the hole you're in...

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(edited 10 years ago)
Hey I'm sorry to hear what you're going through. Please stay strong. Does the therapy help at all? I know its easy to say, but try your best to carry on. Try eating food you like, and try changing your mindset. Constantly tell yourself that it will be okay, and try your best to have a positive attitude on a day to day basis. I think you should tell someone what you're going through, possibly a relative that you're close with. If not, keep going to therapy and let it all out. Its good to release your emotions rather than keeping them bottled up. You could write them in a diary, or express them through drawings. I am no expert, but I really hope my advice helps and I wish you the best.
I can honestly tell you that this will get better. I myself suffered from a severe depression for some time, but I've been very well for over 1,5 years now and no longer see my therapist. At that time I thought the same as you - I am mad at myself, I do not function properly, I slept at weird hours and had to defer my exams, I drank at some points and felt lonely, useless, didn't enjoy anything at all, didn't feel anything at all, which was worst.

The reason I got into this depressive phase wasn't my fault either, though I do not want to talk about it on here. Thing is, and it may sound really horrible, but what finally helped me - along with seeing a therapist; I did not even take antidepressants - was that at one point, I was feeling so incredibly low I realized that I need to get myself out of this hole. And I realized that while it would have been really nice to have somebody help me out of it (like family or friends), in the end only I myself was able to get myself out of the whole... It obviously took a lot of time, but I realized that at some point, I had dreams and wishes and that it actually deep inside was my wish to enjoy life, and even though this horrible thing happened to me, I needed to make it a past. One cannot be haunted by horrible things forever. I bet you have many wishes and dreams and desires, and you should focus only on the positive things, as hard as it may be. Believe me, it took me weeks and weeks to finally start letting positive thoughts into my mindset, but it did work step by step. I also started doing sports 4 times a week, and keeping to a very healthy diet, no processed foods, except for a few treats now and then, and stuck to my "having a 30mins walk everyday" rule. I surrounded myself with friends as much as I could and kept myself busy so I couldn't even think about it anymore... I literally learnt two languages besides uni and even had a job for three months.

Needless to say, what you initially need is the strength to make yourself change your situation. And you obviously should avoid anything negative, please surround yourself with people you like - no matter whether it is family, friends from uni or people online. Maybe it helps you to set some rules for yourself - keep yourself busy! If you do not have any time to think about the depression, you give it less importance in your life. Listen to music you like, everyday in the morning when you wake up. Just for the effort of it, make yourself nice breakfast. Call a friend, play a nice video game or whatever you like. Try to accept the past and believe that things can change into a good direction. I can certainly confirm that. It takes strength but writing on here is your first step towards improvement. Good luck, and sorry for the mess... it was just my stream of consciousness! :smile:
Reply 3
Original post by Macroverse
Hi all

I have been having a rough time off late and I was looking for some advice on putting your life back on track after a fall.

As a bit of background, I have had diagnosed clinical depression for three years. I see a counsellor, art therapist and a psychiatrist. One of my old tutors kissed me when he was drunk and then he was very abusive afterwards. This isn't the first time that this has happened to me. The second one still treats me like **** and the first isn't allowed to contact me. He denied he did anything wrong when I had a meeting with him and the head of my dept. but I showed that everything he had said from start to finish was inconsistent and he had been drinking for 7 hours before he made his 'move'. I had to explain to the or prof that I was almost sectioned in November and I started crying so she had to ring my parents and she keeps emailing me to check I am still alive. This meeting was on Wednesday. Since then I haven't eaten a meal, all I do is cry and suffocate on my tears. I can't sleep normal hours - I sleep from 4am-5pm. I stopped taking my antidepressants and I sit in my room drinking whisky. I am so annoyed at myself and I hate myself for getting like this. I've neglected all my uni work for three weeks and I have had to defer my exams until August. I feel so worthless and pathetic but I need to get out of this hole I am. I am so scared I don't want to die but I just want the pain to stop. I have no friends at uni and my best friends from a levels pulled a prank on me before my exams and they were so embarrassed that they didn't speak to afterwards. I'm not that close to my family they think that I am just feeling sorry for myself and it is just a phase.

Someone please help me get my life back. Thanks. (I doubt thanks is good enough to say how grateful I will be for anyone to reply to this. Please no one tell me to top myself either, I've seen enough of suicide and death to know what it does to people).

Xx


Don't think depressing thoughts, or thoughts that criticise yourself. If you do, it creates a chemical in the brain called cortisol, this chemical is a depressant. Think happy thoughts, point things out that are good about yourself. Tell yourself that you are good, that you are happy and that you can get through this. Thoughts like these create an anti-depressant in the brain called seratonin. This will make you feel better. Don't drink alcohol as it is a depressant and keep taking your anti-depressants aswell. Listen to happy music, for example my preferences are down with the trumpets by Rizzle Kicks and let me clear my throat by DJ Kool Herc. Happy music should automatically make you feel better. Do some sports, running, boxing etc. It'll really let out some stress and anger. Now the difficult thing is, you have to do these things when you're saying to yourself you don't want to (that's the cortisol acting up again). If you think that you really can't be bothered because you feel like s***, you got to do it, otherwise it becomes a habit and you'll start slipping back into that 'hole.' I've been through some depression and all I did was listen to depressing music, I thought it would help me because I can relate to it but it didn't. Listening to depressing music while your depressed makes it worse, so force yourself to listen to happy music. Also I find it really helpful to write about it, even if no one else but you reads it. It still helps, you can write in any form, song, poetry or just like a story. It doesn't matter. I really hope you feel better soon, you can inbox me anytime to talk to me and I'll try my best to help :smile:.

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(edited 11 years ago)
Original post by Macroverse
Hi all

I have been having a rough time off late and I was looking for some advice on putting your life back on track after a fall.

As a bit of background, I have had diagnosed clinical depression for three years. I see a counsellor, art therapist and a psychiatrist. One of my old tutors kissed me when he was drunk and then he was very abusive afterwards. This isn't the first time that this has happened to me. The second one still treats me like **** and the first isn't allowed to contact me. He denied he did anything wrong when I had a meeting with him and the head of my dept. but I showed that everything he had said from start to finish was inconsistent and he had been drinking for 7 hours before he made his 'move'. I had to explain to the or prof that I was almost sectioned in November and I started crying so she had to ring my parents and she keeps emailing me to check I am still alive. This meeting was on Wednesday. Since then I haven't eaten a meal, all I do is cry and suffocate on my tears. I can't sleep normal hours - I sleep from 4am-5pm. I stopped taking my antidepressants and I sit in my room drinking whisky. I am so annoyed at myself and I hate myself for getting like this. I've neglected all my uni work for three weeks and I have had to defer my exams until August. I feel so worthless and pathetic but I need to get out of this hole I am. I am so scared I don't want to die but I just want the pain to stop. I have no friends at uni and my best friends from a levels pulled a prank on me before my exams and they were so embarrassed that they didn't speak to afterwards. I'm not that close to my family they think that I am just feeling sorry for myself and it is just a phase.

Someone please help me get my life back. Thanks. (I doubt thanks is good enough to say how grateful I will be for anyone to reply to this. Please no one tell me to top myself either, I've seen enough of suicide and death to know what it does to people).

Xx


HI, are things getting better? Send me a PM anytime you feel like you want to talk to someone. :hugs:

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