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Says he likes me but doesn't want a relationship? Watch

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    Right, so I was talking to this guy last year for about three months and then we hooked up one night. I got back together with my ex and he was acting a little weird. I broke up with him because I still had feelings for this guy. We were always in contact with one another though.

    We all have the same friends so I see him almost every weekend. A few weekends ago at a party, he told a friend of ours that he really liked me and wanted something serious with me and not just another hook up. Great. So we were talking for 3 weeks but he was always really hot and cold with me.

    Last night was the first night I saw him from the last party and we were getting along great as usual. I was planning on talking to him about 'us' after everyone left but he beat me to it. He told me he liked me and vice versa. And so we were talking seriously about us and then he goes.."I really like you ..I don't know what I want..but I'm willing to try"

    The next day I texted him something along the lines of "I was thinking about what you said last night about how you don't know what you want. and if so then theres really no point in starting anything between us so maybe we should just stay friends.."

    He replied back with "I was kind of thinking the same thing, because if we did and i realize that im wrong, and that its not whats best, its just not fair to you. And im sorry that i cant articulate my apprehension in any logical way. I want you to know i do like you, enough that I don't want to hurt you or risk completely compromising a friendship. im really sorry"

    :confused: What do I do now? I really like him but I'm not sure what to think of this. Should I just act like nothing happened the next time I see him and move on?
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    halp
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    You told him you shouldn't get into anything so he shifted into reverse gear. How can you not see what you did?!
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    (Original post by Ronove)
    You told him you shouldn't get into anything so he shifted into reverse gear. How can you not see what you did?!
    But how could he not know what he wants? it seems like he really meant what he said in the text. did i really mess it up?!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    But how could he not know what he wants? it seems like he really meant what he said in the text. did i really mess it up?!



    what do you mean :/ they're my friends as well..
    Lots of people don't know what they want lol. In life in general, relationships, career etc. The first post was right, you put him off the idea.
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    "I was thinking about what you said last night about how you don't know what you want. and if so then theres really no point in starting anything between us so maybe we should just stay friends.."

    You say you like him, but you sent him a message saying "maybe we should just stay friends"?? Of course that will confuse him and make him back off. Maybe the better thing would have been to say..you don't know what you want, and thats fine, but we can just try this and see what might happen.

    You have pretty much friend zoned the guy.
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    Do you like him?

    If so tell him, text him now saying you like him etc and what you want. Be nice

    If he likes you,
    He will text you back saying he likes you.

    Be honest with each other in that part and see where that takes you.

    The more you tell him how you feel, the more he'll tell you how he feels; thus the more he will be able to tell what he wants and you guys will be able to work something out.

    Enough of the vague confused messages, just be direct and see where it takes you.

    Source: been there, done that


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    (Original post by FallenGirl)
    "I was thinking about what you said last night about how you don't know what you want. and if so then theres really no point in starting anything between us so maybe we should just stay friends.."

    You say you like him, but you sent him a message saying "maybe we should just stay friends"?? Of course that will confuse him and make him back off. Maybe the better thing would have been to say..you don't know what you want, and thats fine, but we can just try this and see what might happen.

    You have pretty much friend zoned the guy.
    This.
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    (Original post by OnimushaGTA)
    Do you like him?

    If so tell him, text him now saying you like him etc and what you want. Be nice

    If he likes you,
    He will text you back saying he likes you.

    Be honest with each other in that part and see where that takes you.

    The more you tell him how you feel, the more he'll tell you how he feels; thus the more he will be able to tell what he wants and you guys will be able to work something out.

    Enough of the vague confused messages, just be direct and see where it takes you.

    Source: been there, done that


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    Oh god, I really have screwed everything up. How do I approach this? I feel like a text wouldn't be right but I don't really see him around. How do I say what I want to say without seeming like a flip flopping psycho..?
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    Should I say something like: "I do really like you though. sorry about before..i think i was just focusing on one thing that you said and then the next morning you left kind of abruptly without saying much of anything so i was a little confused but what I'm trying to say is..something bad could happen..you could hurt me or i could hurt you..which is the last thing i want to happen..but i'm willing to try it if you still are.."
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    :confused: What do I do now? I really like him but I'm not sure what to think of this. Should I just act like nothing happened the next time I see him and move on?
    Edit: NM, seems you flat-out friend-zoned him.

    As a typical modern guy he is obviously apprehensive and a bit of a chicken-**** about relationships (a topic for another thread but come on lads, you're making the team look ****, man up a relationship isn't the grave) but he was overall willing to try.


    ...And then you shot him down. Probably out of your own fear of rejection/of being hurt by wishy-washy non-committal (which I guess is fair but he didn't even get out of the starting block).


    If you plan to stay friends then yes, act as if nothing happened and all is normal. It may seem unintuitive but it is the best way to salvage friendship after brief crossings of the friendship line.


    If you still want to date him then woman up and own your feelings. Be upfront with him, tell him how you feel and what you want, and pursue it.
    Yeah you think it may hurt if he somehow doesn't reciprocate (which he did btw) but regret hurts a lot more for a lot longer.

    I've never heard someone seriously say "Jee I sure do regret having talked to that attractive person I fancy so much once and finding out where I stand in their esteem either way!".
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    I'd say something like "if we like each other, we should definitely give it a go. Most people don't really know what they want, and you can get hurt in any relationship. Lets just start out slow and see where things go".

    I've said similar things to girls as what he said, because I was scared of commitment and didn't want to lead the girl on, not because I didn't like her.
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    (Original post by Mankytoes)
    I'd say something like "if we like each other, we should definitely give it a go. Most people don't really know what they want, and you can get hurt in any relationship. Lets just start out slow and see where things go".

    I've said similar things to girls as what he said, because I was scared of commitment and didn't want to lead the girl on, not because I didn't like her.
    lead the girl on how?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    lead the girl on how?
    Have her make all these long term plans for us, when theres a good chance I might turn around soon and be like "yeah, this is a bit heavy for me at this age". Basically I was enjoying being a bit of a lad, and I've always seen myself as a very independent person, and I wasn't sure I was ready to give that up. In the end that didn't happen, and I'm still with her two years later.

    To be honest, I think if you guys don't go out you're bottling it a bit. Yes, people can get hurt, that's life, it's for living.
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    (Original post by Mankytoes)
    Have her make all these long term plans for us, when theres a good chance I might turn around soon and be like "yeah, this is a bit heavy for me at this age". Basically I was enjoying being a bit of a lad, and I've always seen myself as a very independent person, and I wasn't sure I was ready to give that up. In the end that didn't happen, and I'm still with her two years later.

    To be honest, I think if you guys don't go out you're bottling it a bit. Yes, people can get hurt, that's life, it's for living.
    Thanks for your advice, it was really helpful. I texted him so I guess I'll just have to wait and see what he says
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Should I say something like: "I do really like you though. sorry about before..i think i was just focusing on one thing that you said and then the next morning you left kind of abruptly without saying much of anything so i was a little confused but what I'm trying to say is..something bad could happen..you could hurt me or i could hurt you..which is the last thing i want to happen..but i'm willing to try it if you still are.."
    No, it's a bit vague sadly

    Just ask to meet up or something and tell him, or text him saying:

    'hey, I don't know what I was talking about earlier.. Sorry I do like you a lot, you wanna meet up? xxx '

    Smileys help

    And don't try to bring up the whole situation again, 'let sleepy dogs lay' and 'don't dig a hole for yourself'

    Hope this helps
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    Well it worked! Thanks to everyone who gave their 2 cents.
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    He is a playa!
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    If u like him tell him up front..I sure it's worth to try.


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    Next time you see him, grab him and snog his face off. Then see what happens next.
 
 
 
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