Join TSR now for chat about life, relationships, fashion and more…Sign up now

Does anyone elses partner do this? Watch

    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    I am sorry for the length... I have a boyfriend who I have been with for nearly a year. It is fair to say I can be a little bit jealous sometimes, but certainly not more than is normal, and only when I think I have had reason. I have never been jealous over an ordinary friendship he had with a girl, when they met up and stuff, never.
    However, I once was jealous because he liked the same girl for years before he was dating me, and still liked her before we were in a relationship but we were talking and stuff, and then was close friends with her during the time we were together at first.
    It is really not the fact that he had used to like her, it is the fact that when he was dating me he made nasty comments about her that very much implied he was not over her, (although he denied that) and then he was saying/his friend said that this girl liked him, (while he was with me) and so yeah, of course I felt a bit insecure. But I did get over that, I realised he was with me, and if he wanted to be with her he would.
    He likes to do things as a joke because I tend to believe it easily, and he pretended that he had slept with this girl (in the past), and that one of his good female friends was hitting on him while he was with me (both I later found out were not true, but I got upset because I did not understand why he was making it up- then he called me jealous)
    He also pretended that a girl he used to have a thing with a while was texting him all the time and flirting, and he was texting her back, and he might see her. I think this is completely normal to be jealous of, so I was. He understood, and then I found out he was joking again.
    He has said stuff like yeah I would feel jealous too in that situation, yeah sometimes I worry that, but then later said those things were a joke or designed to make me feel better.
    He said before we were together that he can be a jealous person, and then he later said he was not at all.
    He made a joke last night that he does not talk to girls on facebook because I would be mad and jealous (and it did not really sound like a joke) but why would I, I trust him and of course I would not stop him talking to girls.
    He has really never had a single reason to be jealous. I have just one male friend that I actually hang out with, and my boyfriend knows I do not find him attractive at all/he has never been into me, but apart from that, no guy really ever speaks to me, so there is no threat.
    I am sick of being painted as jealous and insecure. He said once that if I am jealous he does not care one bit and loves me all the same, but now I really do not know if I believe that. I feel like he tries to provoke me to be jealous just so he can call me that, and he is constantly joking that no guys would ever be attracted to me anyway. He would just never admit a single weakness. He has said stuff like he will never leave me, but then once he said that maybe he would find the one one day/if he dumped me I should not be too upset, which really hurt me. Should I confront him? Thanks a lot.
    • Welcome Squad
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I am sorry for the length... I have a boyfriend who I have been with for nearly a year. It is fair to say I can be a little bit jealous sometimes, but certainly not more than is normal, and only when I think I have had reason. I have never been jealous over an ordinary friendship he had with a girl, when they met up and stuff, never.
    However, I once was jealous because he liked the same girl for years before he was dating me, and still liked her before we were in a relationship but we were talking and stuff, and then was close friends with her during the time we were together at first.
    It is really not the fact that he had used to like her, it is the fact that when he was dating me he made nasty comments about her that very much implied he was not over her, (although he denied that) and then he was saying/his friend said that this girl liked him, (while he was with me) and so yeah, of course I felt a bit insecure. But I did get over that, I realised he was with me, and if he wanted to be with her he would.
    He likes to do things as a joke because I tend to believe it easily, and he pretended that he had slept with this girl (in the past), and that one of his good female friends was hitting on him while he was with me (both I later found out were not true, but I got upset because I did not understand why he was making it up- then he called me jealous)
    He also pretended that a girl he used to have a thing with a while was texting him all the time and flirting, and he was texting her back, and he might see her. I think this is completely normal to be jealous of, so I was. He understood, and then I found out he was joking again.
    He has said stuff like yeah I would feel jealous too in that situation, yeah sometimes I worry that, but then later said those things were a joke or designed to make me feel better.
    He said before we were together that he can be a jealous person, and then he later said he was not at all.
    He made a joke last night that he does not talk to girls on facebook because I would be mad and jealous (and it did not really sound like a joke) but why would I, I trust him and of course I would not stop him talking to girls.
    He has really never had a single reason to be jealous. I have just one male friend that I actually hang out with, and my boyfriend knows I do not find him attractive at all/he has never been into me, but apart from that, no guy really ever speaks to me, so there is no threat.
    I am sick of being painted as jealous and insecure. He said once that if I am jealous he does not care one bit and loves me all the same, but now I really do not know if I believe that. I feel like he tries to provoke me to be jealous just so he can call me that, and he is constantly joking that no guys would ever be attracted to me anyway. He would just never admit a single weakness. He has said stuff like he will never leave me, but then once he said that maybe he would find the one one day/if he dumped me I should not be too upset, which really hurt me. Should I confront him? Thanks a lot.

    After teasing you with other girls if he tells the truth and says some thing like "I was just kiding, I love you more than any thing" than I think its ok
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    Sounds a bit excessive. To say he slept with this girl is a little far.

    In previous relationships I (and sometimes boyfriends) have joked about how we have other people after us, but that's as far as it goes.

    You need to tell him to knock it off, it's not funny and he's being very misleading. To say such large statements and then later say "it was a joke."

    I doubt he'd be very happy if you said you slept with your male friend, before you got with your boyfriend, joke or not.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Enoxial)
    After teasing you with other girls if he tells the truth and says some thing like "I was just kiding, I love you more than any thing" than I think its ok
    He does that but not himself, he does it after I've confronted him a lot or done something that seems jealous.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by echeee)
    Sounds a bit excessive. To say he slept with this girl is a little far.

    In previous relationships I (and sometimes boyfriends) have joked about how we have other people after us, but that's as far as it goes.

    You need to tell him to knock it off, it's not funny and he's being very misleading. To say such large statements and then later say "it was a joke."

    I doubt he'd be very happy if you said you slept with your male friend, before you got with your boyfriend, joke or not.
    I confronted him about saying that and he said he did not mean to hurt me and was sorry, so that was ok. Yeah me too, we made jokes like that but I never mentioned names.
    Yeah he would probably say he does not care one bit, as I said he is always joking that I am ugly anyway and nobody else would be interested.
    • Welcome Squad
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    He does that but not himself, he does it after I've confronted him a lot or done something that seems jealous.

    One thing you can do is not to show that your jealous, once he sees that your not getting jealous he will eventually give up
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Enoxial)
    One thing you can do is not to show that your jealous, once he sees that your not getting jealous he will eventually give up
    Yeah, that is a good idea It is annoying because once I asked him about one of his female friend just innocently, what kind of stuff she liked (since I have never met her) and he started acting suspiciously like I was jealous of her.. but I did nothing wrong :s
    He told me a story of when a girl in the street was flirting and he was flirting back and he wanted his number but he said he had a girlfriend, and I have no idea whether it was true or not.
    I told him once when somebody nice-looking paid me a compliment (because he always does that sort of thing) and he said stuff like oh he only said it because of x and y.. Implying he would never actually be attracted to me.... but how does he know :s
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    In your opinion(s) does it sound as if he does stuff just to make me jealous? He also said when he was drunk that he would love to sleep with another girl but he would not want to lose me.. but I wonder how that would be in a year or two from now... I am not very secure with him, about a month ago he was so loving and said he would never leave me, and now every time I am saying nice stuff he just says ´yeah´ or ´´ :s
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    He sounds like a **** tbh, I would flat out say it isn't funny, only you are laughing, if you love me just stop it.
    • Welcome Squad
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Yeah, that is a good idea It is annoying because once I asked him about one of his female friend just innocently, what kind of stuff she liked (since I have never met her) and he started acting suspiciously like I was jealous of her.. but I did nothing wrong :s
    He told me a story of when a girl in the street was flirting and he was flirting back and he wanted his number but he said he had a girlfriend, and I have no idea whether it was true or not.
    I told him once when somebody nice-looking paid me a compliment (because he always does that sort of thing) and he said stuff like oh he only said it because of x and y.. Implying he would never actually be attracted to me.... but how does he know :s

    Just try and ignore when he tries to make you jealous, don't try to make him jealous as well, you will do fine
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Am i the only one who thinks this doesn't sound right?
    i don't think its very nice at all that he's saying these things to you. Why on earth would someone purposely want to try to make you jealous and then laugh about it? Maybe he has a big ego and wants you to fight over him, i don't know, but its strange behaviour.
    He's doing nothing for your self confidence or trust as he's constantly belittling you - it sounds emotionally abusive! Whether he says sorry or not, It shouldn't be like that in a relationship. Leave him and find someone who appreciates you, calls you beautiful everyday and sees you in his future for the long term rather than this guy who's playing around with you before he finds 'the one'. You deserve better.
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: March 12, 2013
Poll
Which Fantasy Franchise is the best?

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Quick reply
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.