Guys. Would you want to know? Would you ever be able to forgive me?
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I'm sorry, but that isn't cheating. That's called being raped. You pushed him off and told him no. You may have been seeping in his bed, but you still said no and that means no. Go to the police and tell them. Then tell your boyfriend and if he says that you cheated then you should wave him goodbye, because that is not cheating.
Original post by Anonymous
Thanks for your help everyone. I plucked up the courage to ring Rape Crisis and Woman's Rights today and talk about what happened. I'm going into my local SARC tomorrow to get tests done and hopefully sort out some counselling. They'll also talk to me about reporting to the police although I'm not sure if that's something I can face just yet. Still blaming myself for what happened at the moment but I guess after reading all of these part of me realises that I should be blaming him as well. This has certainly given me a wake up call. No more drinking. No more partying. And start trying to handle things in a more responsible way. Hopefully when I finally get round to telling my boyfriend he'll realise that I'm trying to change so I don't get myself in any more dangerous situations but if he can't - I guess that's something I'll have to try and live with. Anyway, thank you all. OP.
Hey, just wanted to say I hope you are doing ok, if you need to chat or anything feel free to PM me, I can imagine it's pretty tough with guilt etc, especially with what a lot of idiots have said on this thread.
You really shouldn't let this put you off drinking and partying, if it stops you doing the things you enjoy then he has won! Everything is good in moderation, and I bet if you did go out you would be more on your guard now anyway. Good luck with your boyfriend, my fingers are crossed that he will be understanding on the matter and not lie half the ***** on here.
Telling him won't make it not have happened, and you will either forget this quickly or never forget it. But if you tell him you can guarentee he won't be able to forget it, and will remind you in arguements without really trying to offend you and will constantly remember it himself. The consequence of telling him: two people have to live with it. Don't tell him. Only one person should have to live with that.
Original post by aspirinpharmacist
I agree with some of the others, this doesn't sound like cheating to me. You didn't want to cheat. You said no, you told him you didn't want to, he came back and tried it on again and you were drunk and disorientated. The fact that he forced himself on you is disgusting. He's in the wrong here. I'd tell your boyfriend what happened, it doesn't sound like your fault.
Surely it was OP who voluntarily got into bed with him again? (Apologies if I've misunderstood, I read the first post pretty quickly.)
Original post by Anonymous
Thanks for your help everyone. I plucked up the courage to ring Rape Crisis and Woman's Rights today and talk about what happened. I'm going into my local SARC tomorrow to get tests done and hopefully sort out some counselling. They'll also talk to me about reporting to the police although I'm not sure if that's something I can face just yet. Still blaming myself for what happened at the moment but I guess after reading all of these part of me realises that I should be blaming him as well. This has certainly given me a wake up call. No more drinking. No more partying. And start trying to handle things in a more responsible way. Hopefully when I finally get round to telling my boyfriend he'll realise that I'm trying to change so I don't get myself in any more dangerous situations but if he can't - I guess that's something I'll have to try and live with. Anyway, thank you all. OP.
You must tell your bf now or very soon. If you leave it till later, he might wonder if there have been any other secrets you have been hiding from him. Also, if you get back with your bf, you may not want to tell him as the days go by as things start to get better again. And then it will only get harder and harder to tell him, as time elapses. Honest and immediacy; they're probably the best remedies.
(edited 11 years ago)
Original post by redferry
'Hey, after our fight I got really drunk and I went to sleep it off in that guys bed. He got into bed and forcefully penetrated my mouth, Id told him straight I didnt want anything to happen but he still did it, it was horrible and I never wanted anything to happen with him. Im sorry that I trusted such a vile person and I would never cheat on you. I feel so upset and disgusted about what happened'
But this bends the truth. There was a man jacking off beside the op in bed and she still remained there before this man penetrated her. That is crucial, and with that omission, your narrative makes it seem like the guy the op was in bed with was a rapist, when he wasn't quite.
Again the second emboldened point is a misrepresentation, since by going into bed with another man and getting hammered it seems like the op was preparing for just that.
In truth, both the OP and this other man are culpable, and the OP should accept some responsibility. What you have written would make me feel disgusted with my girlfriend but at the same time powerless and suspicious, because it seems like she's been raped. But i'd have little sympathy as it would also that my gf were a complete idiot to get used in such a way, and perhaps that she wanted it. Honesty is best. What you have written is worse than saying she wanted to cheat, and got half-way but tried to stop it later- only too late because it seems dishonest and would make me feel powerless. I would definitely end the relationship.
Here is what I would say:
Last night, I was so angry I wanted to get out, get hammered and maybe make you jealous by drinking all night. Over the night somehow, I wound up in this guys bed, and was ok with it because I was still so hurt. I only wanted to sleep there. He tried it on and I told him to stop but didnt get out of bed. And this is where I'm completely to blame and hope you can forgive me. I should have got out of bed the moment he got it on, but I was so tired and drunk and half asleep, I just wanted to lie there. Next thing I knew he was forcing himself onto me and ejaculated by my face. It was only for 5 seconds, and I could barely tell what was going on. But I didnt stop it. I didn't know what I could do. I'm so sorry. I didnt want it to happen that way, and hate myself for it. I'd never want to hurt you..
(edited 11 years ago)
Original post by Blutooth
But this bends the truth. There was a man jacking off beside the op in bed and she still remained there before this man penetrated her. That is crucial, and with that omission, your narrative makes it seem like the guy the op was in bed with was a rapist, when he wasn't quite.
Again the second emboldened point is a misrepresentation, since by going into bed with another man and getting hammered it seems like the op was preparing for just that.
In truth, both the OP and this other man are culpable, and the OP should accept some responsibility. What you have written would make me feel disgusted with my girlfriend but at the same time powerless and suspicious, because it seems like she's been raped. But i'd have little sympathy as it would also that my gf were a complete idiot to get used in such a way, and perhaps that she wanted it. Honesty is best. What you have written is worse than saying she wanted to cheat, and got half-way but tried to stop it later- only too late. I would definitely end the relationship.
Again the second emboldened point is a misrepresentation, since by going into bed with another man and getting hammered it seems like the op was preparing for just that.
In truth, both the OP and this other man are culpable, and the OP should accept some responsibility. What you have written would make me feel disgusted with my girlfriend but at the same time powerless and suspicious, because it seems like she's been raped. But i'd have little sympathy as it would also that my gf were a complete idiot to get used in such a way, and perhaps that she wanted it. Honesty is best. What you have written is worse than saying she wanted to cheat, and got half-way but tried to stop it later- only too late. I would definitely end the relationship.
Yeah, I'm somewhat bemused by a lot of the responses in the thread.
Obviously the guy shouldn't have done what he did, but a girl getting into bed with a guy who had just tried it on with her is quite clearly not blameless.
Original post by Chief Wiggum
Yeah, I'm somewhat bemused by a lot of the responses in the thread.
Obviously the guy shouldn't have done what he did, but a girl getting into bed with a guy who had just tried it on with her is quite clearly not blameless.
Obviously the guy shouldn't have done what he did, but a girl getting into bed with a guy who had just tried it on with her is quite clearly not blameless.
I think it's because people in general, focus in isolation on things that stand out to them (perhaps because they've been in a similar situation) and ignore all the other facts. It's a kind of single-mindedness or tunnel-vision. Also, this is the relationship forum and people get very opinionated very quickly,and are quick to see a woman as a victim when there's a man they can just as equally blame.
Edit: Basically people being idiots.
(edited 11 years ago)
1. OP you're an absolute idiot. You deserve to be in this situation, stop trying to justify your disgusting actions by saying you were 'drunk and it all happened too fast.' I'm sorry but he was in bed next to you ****ing, then he put his dick in your mouth, started ****ing your mouth, and then come inside your mouth. And you did nothing. Let it happen. If I was a girl and that was me I'd immediately get the **** right out of bed, hit the **** and leave.
2. Say what you want but you knew what was coming, had the chance to stop it and you blew it. Both puns intended.
3. You owe it to your boyfriend to tell him. If I was your boyfriend and was out with you and the other kid was in the same bar/club and he's looking at me knowing you've sucked him off before and then you crept into his bed and he jizzed all in your mouth, I'd feel like a mug. If you told me straight I'd let it go and the relationship would end there and then and we'd go our separate ways. If I found out from someone else you'd get a ****ing hard backhand to the face and you'd be sent packing.
4. My sympathy for girls like you is 0/10. You let **** happen and peoples lives are ruined by your twisted claims to the police. Stop sucking dick, find some morality within yourself, and don't date anyone until you've found it.
5. MostUncivilised Back the **** up. You're genuinely being such a pedantic prick about this whole situation. What are you, the sexual code of conduct police? Stop being pathetic and look at the facts in real terms. She's sucked him off before, got in his bed and by her own admission in the cold hard facts, did NOTHING when he started to mount her and stick his dick in her mouth. Did NOTHING. She let it happen. And she probably ****ing swallowed too.
OP you're a complete disgrace and I hope you come off so much worse from this.
2. Say what you want but you knew what was coming, had the chance to stop it and you blew it. Both puns intended.
3. You owe it to your boyfriend to tell him. If I was your boyfriend and was out with you and the other kid was in the same bar/club and he's looking at me knowing you've sucked him off before and then you crept into his bed and he jizzed all in your mouth, I'd feel like a mug. If you told me straight I'd let it go and the relationship would end there and then and we'd go our separate ways. If I found out from someone else you'd get a ****ing hard backhand to the face and you'd be sent packing.
4. My sympathy for girls like you is 0/10. You let **** happen and peoples lives are ruined by your twisted claims to the police. Stop sucking dick, find some morality within yourself, and don't date anyone until you've found it.
5. MostUncivilised Back the **** up. You're genuinely being such a pedantic prick about this whole situation. What are you, the sexual code of conduct police? Stop being pathetic and look at the facts in real terms. She's sucked him off before, got in his bed and by her own admission in the cold hard facts, did NOTHING when he started to mount her and stick his dick in her mouth. Did NOTHING. She let it happen. And she probably ****ing swallowed too.
OP you're a complete disgrace and I hope you come off so much worse from this.
(edited 11 years ago)
OP, first off you shouldn't get in bed with another guy when you have a boyfriend.
You shouldn't have got back into bed.
WHY didn't you sleep on the couch??????????
and to the other posters, how the hell can you claim she was disorientated? Being drunk doesn't turn you into a paralysed victim-in-waiting unless you've gone way beyond the amount this girl has had.
OP, I think you are a troll, I don't believe this post is real and genuine at all, I think it's someone trying out their own experiment
Reread the post people, look at the language used and the masses of information left out.
"i didnt want to leave my friend on her own with two men. "
So they went from mates/friends who they've known for a while and met many times before to simply being "men".
I don't know about the hermits on this forum but I do know it is perfectly safe for a girl and two lads er... sorry... men... to be in the same house at the same time.
I'm sure this thread has been made to cause a big argument over a falsified event, but you knew it would work with the insane brigade.
You shouldn't have got back into bed.
WHY didn't you sleep on the couch??????????
and to the other posters, how the hell can you claim she was disorientated? Being drunk doesn't turn you into a paralysed victim-in-waiting unless you've gone way beyond the amount this girl has had.
OP, I think you are a troll, I don't believe this post is real and genuine at all, I think it's someone trying out their own experiment
Reread the post people, look at the language used and the masses of information left out.
"i didnt want to leave my friend on her own with two men. "
So they went from mates/friends who they've known for a while and met many times before to simply being "men".
I don't know about the hermits on this forum but I do know it is perfectly safe for a girl and two lads er... sorry... men... to be in the same house at the same time.
I'm sure this thread has been made to cause a big argument over a falsified event, but you knew it would work with the insane brigade.
(edited 11 years ago)
Original post by Creat0r
OP, first off you shouldn't get in bed with another guy when you have a boyfriend.
You shouldn't have got back into bed.
WHY didn't you sleep on the couch??????????
and to the other posters, how the hell can you claim she was disorientated? Being drunk doesn't turn you into a paralysed victim-in-waiting unless you've gone way beyond the amount this girl has had.
OP, I think you are a troll, I don't believe this post is real and genuine at all, I think it's someone trying out their own experiment
You shouldn't have got back into bed.
WHY didn't you sleep on the couch??????????
and to the other posters, how the hell can you claim she was disorientated? Being drunk doesn't turn you into a paralysed victim-in-waiting unless you've gone way beyond the amount this girl has had.
OP, I think you are a troll, I don't believe this post is real and genuine at all, I think it's someone trying out their own experiment
Finally, someone else who see's sense throughout all the bull****.
Original post by Rybee
Finally, someone else who see's sense throughout all the bull****.
I edited it to add more.
It's a good job the real world isn't as bad as this lot.
Original post by Blutooth
But this bends the truth. There was a man jacking off beside the op in bed and she still remained there before this man penetrated her. That is crucial, and with that omission, your narrative makes it seem like the guy the op was in bed with was a rapist, when he wasn't quite.
Again the second emboldened point is a misrepresentation, since by going into bed with another man and getting hammered it seems like the op was preparing for just that.
In truth, both the OP and this other man are culpable, and the OP should accept some responsibility. What you have written would make me feel disgusted with my girlfriend but at the same time powerless and suspicious, because it seems like she's been raped. But i'd have little sympathy as it would also that my gf were a complete idiot to get used in such a way, and perhaps that she wanted it. Honesty is best. What you have written is worse than saying she wanted to cheat, and got half-way but tried to stop it later- only too late because it seems dishonest and would make me feel powerless. I would definitely end the relationship.
Here is what I would say:
Last night, I was so angry I wanted to get out, get hammered and maybe make you jealous by drinking all night. Over the night somehow, I wound up in this guys bed, and was ok with it because I was still so hurt. I only wanted to sleep there. He tried it on and I told him to stop but didnt get out of bed. And this is where I'm completely to blame and hope you can forgive me. I should have got out of bed the moment he got it on, but I was so tired and drunk and half asleep, I just wanted to lie there. Next thing I knew he was forcing himself onto me and ejaculated by my face. It was only for 5 seconds, and I could barely tell what was going on. But I didnt stop it. I didn't know what I could do. I'm so sorry. I didnt want it to happen that way, and hate myself for it. I'd never want to hurt you..
Again the second emboldened point is a misrepresentation, since by going into bed with another man and getting hammered it seems like the op was preparing for just that.
In truth, both the OP and this other man are culpable, and the OP should accept some responsibility. What you have written would make me feel disgusted with my girlfriend but at the same time powerless and suspicious, because it seems like she's been raped. But i'd have little sympathy as it would also that my gf were a complete idiot to get used in such a way, and perhaps that she wanted it. Honesty is best. What you have written is worse than saying she wanted to cheat, and got half-way but tried to stop it later- only too late because it seems dishonest and would make me feel powerless. I would definitely end the relationship.
Here is what I would say:
Last night, I was so angry I wanted to get out, get hammered and maybe make you jealous by drinking all night. Over the night somehow, I wound up in this guys bed, and was ok with it because I was still so hurt. I only wanted to sleep there. He tried it on and I told him to stop but didnt get out of bed. And this is where I'm completely to blame and hope you can forgive me. I should have got out of bed the moment he got it on, but I was so tired and drunk and half asleep, I just wanted to lie there. Next thing I knew he was forcing himself onto me and ejaculated by my face. It was only for 5 seconds, and I could barely tell what was going on. But I didnt stop it. I didn't know what I could do. I'm so sorry. I didnt want it to happen that way, and hate myself for it. I'd never want to hurt you..
You dont drink much do you?
From how drunk the OP has said she was saying she didn't stop it is like blaming someone who is ill, once you get to that room spinny feeling sick **** you aint stopping anything (I have awakened to someone trying to have sex with me in a similar state and could only muster the energy to go 'bleugh' and flop out the bed, go to sleep for another hour then wake up and call a cab)
Also personally I dont think she did anything wrong sleeping in her frkends bed, Ive shared male friends beds before and its not an issue. Just a shame this guy was a total jerk.
What actually happened
Guy - "Sexy time?"
Girl - "No"
Little bit later.
Guy - 'STill horny as ****, maybe she will be more up for it now. I will mount her and put my dick near her mouth, she might be game?'
Guy does it.
Girl - 'Whatever'
Guy - 'Dam she is game
I'm so awesome'
Unwanted sex is not rape.
What would get to the bottom of this is talking to the guy. And I suspect he would say that he tried to have sex but she said no at first, happens all the time. Then tried to get a quick blowjob and much to his pleasure she agreed. I bet if you ask him he would say she consented or showed no sign of resisting and would be all
if he was accused of rape.
People calling this rape are throwing around the term rape so loosely that it is probably insulting to actual rape victims.
All the "you were abused" people have fallen for the OPs framing of this hook line and sinker.
Guy - "Sexy time?"
Girl - "No"
Little bit later.
Guy - 'STill horny as ****, maybe she will be more up for it now. I will mount her and put my dick near her mouth, she might be game?'
Guy does it.
Girl - 'Whatever'
Guy - 'Dam she is game
I'm so awesome'Unwanted sex is not rape.
What would get to the bottom of this is talking to the guy. And I suspect he would say that he tried to have sex but she said no at first, happens all the time. Then tried to get a quick blowjob and much to his pleasure she agreed. I bet if you ask him he would say she consented or showed no sign of resisting and would be all
if he was accused of rape.People calling this rape are throwing around the term rape so loosely that it is probably insulting to actual rape victims.
All the "you were abused" people have fallen for the OPs framing of this hook line and sinker.
(edited 11 years ago)
Only 5 seconds? 
In my opinion it sounds like you're exaggerating this to cast yourself in a better light, face up the the consequences, you were fully aware what his intentions were when you got back in bed.
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Posted from TSR Mobile
Original post by Rybee
1. OP you're an absolute idiot. You deserve to be in this situation, stop trying to justify your disgusting actions by saying you were 'drunk and it all happened too fast.' I'm sorry but he was in bed next to you ****ing, then he put his dick in your mouth, started ****ing your mouth, and then come inside your mouth. And you did nothing. Let it happen. If I was a girl and that was me I'd immediately get the **** right out of bed, hit the **** and leave.
2. Say what you want but you knew what was coming, had the chance to stop it and you blew it. Both puns intended.
3. You owe it to your boyfriend to tell him. If I was your boyfriend and was out with you and the other kid was in the same bar/club and he's looking at me knowing you've sucked him off before and then you crept into his bed and he jizzed all in your mouth, I'd feel like a mug. If you told me straight I'd let it go and the relationship would end there and then and we'd go our separate ways. If I found out from someone else you'd get a ****ing hard backhand to the face and you'd be sent packing.
4. My sympathy for girls like you is 0/10. You let **** happen and peoples lives are ruined by your twisted claims to the police. Stop sucking dick, find some morality within yourself, and don't date anyone until you've found it.
5. MostUncivilised Back the **** up. You're genuinely being such a pedantic prick about this whole situation. What are you, the sexual code of conduct police? Stop being pathetic and look at the facts in real terms. She's sucked him off before, got in his bed and by her own admission in the cold hard facts, did NOTHING when he started to mount her and stick his dick in her mouth. Did NOTHING. She let it happen. And she probably ****ing swallowed too.
OP you're a complete disgrace and I hope you come off so much worse from this.
2. Say what you want but you knew what was coming, had the chance to stop it and you blew it. Both puns intended.
3. You owe it to your boyfriend to tell him. If I was your boyfriend and was out with you and the other kid was in the same bar/club and he's looking at me knowing you've sucked him off before and then you crept into his bed and he jizzed all in your mouth, I'd feel like a mug. If you told me straight I'd let it go and the relationship would end there and then and we'd go our separate ways. If I found out from someone else you'd get a ****ing hard backhand to the face and you'd be sent packing.
4. My sympathy for girls like you is 0/10. You let **** happen and peoples lives are ruined by your twisted claims to the police. Stop sucking dick, find some morality within yourself, and don't date anyone until you've found it.
5. MostUncivilised Back the **** up. You're genuinely being such a pedantic prick about this whole situation. What are you, the sexual code of conduct police? Stop being pathetic and look at the facts in real terms. She's sucked him off before, got in his bed and by her own admission in the cold hard facts, did NOTHING when he started to mount her and stick his dick in her mouth. Did NOTHING. She let it happen. And she probably ****ing swallowed too.
OP you're a complete disgrace and I hope you come off so much worse from this.
+10.
Agree with most of what you said.
Don't think I could forgive it. You can't blame everything on being drunk, there has to be some underlying desire there, alcohol does not turn you into a glove puppet of the demon drink. You went through with it, and it's your own choice I guess, but personally I wouldn't want to get back with a girl who ended up doing this after 1 argument.
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