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Should I go on (my first ever) holiday with friends? Watch

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    Hey everyone!

    I have been invited by a friend to go on holiday with 2 of his other friends to Amsterdam in the Easter holiday. There were originally 4 people who were going to go to Amsterdam but however 1 person droppped out due to visa issues. So, now the organiser (my friend) asked me if I would like to come after about 10 other people declined as well.

    I'm thinking should I really go because I was only asked after a lot of people declined making me feel like I was only asked to fill the number. Also, I wouldn't say he is a very close friend as I have never really been out with him therefore maybe just a bit closer than an ordinary friend (we are in the same class for 3 hours a week for almost 2 years), so I don't know if it will be as fun as expected and I don't know the other 2 people at all meaning that I am feeling nervous as to what they would think of me.

    If I decide to go then this would be my first ever holiday or period of time away from the parental home because I currently live at home whilst studying at university (I am 20 years old) and I have never lived away from home without supervision or even had a sleepover before, so I am feeling a bit apprehensive about what to expect on a truly independent holiday with a few friends, some that I have never met before who might think I am a useless individual who cannot do anything by themselves or look after themself, which would make me very unhappy.

    I have never shared a room with someone else before. Furthermore, I don't drink and have never been clubbing before. Their main aim of the holiday is to go to the red-light district which I hope doesn't mean sexual/prostiution purposes!

    I also get airsick and I don't want to throw up in front of them giving them the impression that I am like a weak person who needs taking care of. I have told my friend that I get airsick and he was a little bit shocked but he didn't comment about it meaning that I feel unsure as to what he really thinks about it.

    On the plus side, it would be a good experience into actually becoming fully independent by actually living away from home for the first time in my life! Also, it would be my first ever friends holiday which sounds very exciting!
    The price in addition is very reasonable, which is under £300 due to booking in advance and I have never been on a holiday in Europe (even though Amsterdam isn't one of my top destinations to visit). It would be a great experience in actually becoming more mature and independent for when I go to study abroad in China in the coming August even though it will eat into my savings for my year abroad.

    To be honest, I am worried about these things mainly because it is a first time experience for me in many aspects: living away from home, having to fully take care of myself, first ever friends/without adult supervision holiday, sharing a room with someone else etc.

    Yes I know I haven't had many experiences in life in terms of socialising, independence or just in general which is why I am asking this question as to wheter I would actually be making a very good decision or not so then I can make a positive change to my life.

    What do you guys think as I would like some advice/reassruance?

    Thank you!
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    Didn't read the whole thing as it's too long but all I saw was "(I am 20 years old)" so I am guessing you are responsible enough. I am pretty sure you will have fun, plus you are going with friends so they will probably take care of you!
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    Hi! Please don't take this the wrong way, but from my perspective after reading your letter, I don't get the impression that this whole business will make you truly happy as with all the worrying. My initial advice is for you to work out how you truly feel deep down about this. If you have a bad feeling, then it is usually best to not go. It does indeed seem like an opportunity and I understand your situation because you remind me of myself as I don't spend much time with others either. It gives you a chance to mature and learn how to behave around others. However, it may turn out as a struggle depending on how mature your friends are in terms of "socialising" as you said, with plenty of involvement with boys/girls. You also gave me the impression that you don't know them all too well so, 1) you get the chance to meet new friends, or 2) you might get taken advantage of. Another issue is 'follow the leader'. If they have known each other for a long time, they are likely to have similar interests, so unless you like what they like, you won't have much fun tagging along with them wherever they go. Also, staying at home can be rude and can make you lonely. I say that because I find that even though I have friends, like you, we never seem to fully understand each other. However, this holiday would be a great study of psychology to learn about how others think and behave. Staying at home is generally safe and no one can protect you better than your parents so in a completely new country, you're on your own to fend for yourself and this can be a good thing and a bad thing about how you look at it. I personally would not go on this holiday and spend the money on something nice, but maybe it's time for change, a time to try something new? I am not giving you a direct answer because at the end of the day, the choice is yours and how you 'yourself' feel about this holiday is the most important thing, so listen to that gut instinct. Hope it helped a little and good luck!
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    Talk to him, find out what the group plan to do in Amsterdam, and also as you talk to him you will find out more about how well you both get on.

    Amsterdam is a great city both for sight seeing and for partying/red light district stuff. Unfortunately most 20 year olds go to Amsterdam to party only.
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    (Original post by M4Y)
    Hi! Please don't take this the wrong way, but from my perspective after reading your letter, I don't get the impression that this whole business will make you truly happy as with all the worrying. My initial advice is for you to work out how you truly feel deep down about this. If you have a bad feeling, then it is usually best to not go. It does indeed seem like an opportunity and I understand your situation because you remind me of myself as I don't spend much time with others either. It gives you a chance to mature and learn how to behave around others. However, it may turn out as a struggle depending on how mature your friends are in terms of "socialising" as you said, with plenty of involvement with boys/girls. You also gave me the impression that you don't know them all too well so, 1) you get the chance to meet new friends, or 2) you might get taken advantage of. Another issue is 'follow the leader'. If they have known each other for a long time, they are likely to have similar interests, so unless you like what they like, you won't have much fun tagging along with them wherever they go. Also, staying at home can be rude and can make you lonely. I say that because I find that even though I have friends, like you, we never seem to fully understand each other. However, this holiday would be a great study of psychology to learn about how others think and behave. Staying at home is generally safe and no one can protect you better than your parents so in a completely new country, you're on your own to fend for yourself and this can be a good thing and a bad thing about how you look at it. I personally would not go on this holiday and spend the money on something nice, but maybe it's time for change, a time to try something new? I am not giving you a direct answer because at the end of the day, the choice is yours and how you 'yourself' feel about this holiday is the most important thing, so listen to that gut instinct. Hope it helped a little and good luck!
    Hi there! Thank you so much for your informative and detailed reply!

    I do kind of have a bad feeling about this because I do seem to be more 'mature' or 'sensible' than most other young people especially guys i.e. drinking, clubbing, girls are probably like the last thing on my mind in terms of social life but then I do fully understand that most holidays with friends will involve these things (as most young people do want to go on holiday for clubbing, drinking etc but ultimately it does depend on who you go with) wherever it may be, not just in Amsterdam. Yes, like I said before I only know 1 of them and I have never seen the other 2 people before so the other 2 could be really nice or really unfriendly, who knows. They have probably known each other for about less than 2 years as they are studying the same course as each other and I really do understand what you mean by following the leader, it is a bit like being left out of the group which wouldn't be great at all. As you quite rightly said, living at home for me means that I do not have the same connection and relationship as someone who probably lives in the same accommodation or even in a different accommodation because they probably have more social interactions than I have anyway as I cannot really meet up with most of them therefore whoever I go on holiday with during university, I would probably feel that way like I am a bit distant to everyone else.

    I have told him my concerns and he says that they do plan to go to the red-light district i.e. for partying, drinking etc for at least one night but the thing is I am (I think) ok with that unless they plan to do that every night till 5am as that is not my personality to do that and then it all gets out of hand or something like that. (I have been watching a bit too much Sun, Sex and Suspicious Parents, lol).

    I am kind of eager to go because I have never been on a holiday with friends before and it would be a very good opportunity for me to learn how to become more independent (as I am quite immature in terms of having things done for and looking after myself), how to look after myself without parents or adults there, how to deal with situations myself and therefore would help me become a 'fully mature' adult.

    I like how you are in a similar situation to me and are providing me with some really good advice! Thank you!
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    Hello again! I do understand your situation very well and how you feel. If you're planning to go, I wish you the absolute best of luck, but whatever you do, don't give into binge drinking because it can make you do terrible things and alcohol severely affects your memory and health. Watch over your drink to make sure it doesn't get spiked either... I know that sounds ridiculous, but it happens much more often that you may think. If you have a bad feeling, just stay safe and don't let your friends persuade you into doing something you don't want to, because if you decide to go on this holiday, you get a say in it too and you don't have to do anything you don't want to, just remember that... if they are truly your friends and nice people, they will understand. If they start forcing you... it's not a good sign, so be stubborn and stand your ground about what you think is right. I know this is all serious stuff, but I'm telling you this because teenage boys can be dangerous with or without too much to drink. Be aware about the girls you are going with too. If you ever feel like trouble is coming, just keep some deodorant in your pocket to spray into someone's eyes just in case. In terms of maturity, you could always ask your parents to take control of your own life, because right now, I'm learning how to iron, and cook. I have learned how to clean, wash dishes, bake pancakes and use the kitchen for almost all uses. If you are planning on going, I hope that nothing bad happens for you and that everything runs smoothly and you have a heap of fun, despite the worrying, so go and have the best holiday you have ever had!
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    Man just go on holiday and relax, have a bit of fun you are young a single!
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    I've never been on a holiday with my friends either, although me and three friends from university are planning to go around Europe this summer (part of my tactic to delay going home). Anyway, from the sounds of it, although this would be an amazing opportunity for you, I think you and your friend want different things out of the holiday, and your personalities and agendas sound quite different so although that works on a casual friendship basis, I don't know if it would work on holiday. My friend went on a clubbing holiday last summer and there was so much drama and fighting between everyone, I was glad I missed it all to be honest. And if you're worrying about how you come across to your friend and his friends, and getting airsick and going clubbing and red light districts you're not going to enjoy yourself because you'll be worrying the whole time. Have you got any close friends you could go away with for a weekend or something? That sounds hideously patronising, I apologise. I just mean that maybe a trial run's a good idea so you can sort out your concerns and then hopefully you'll enjoy yourself more because you won't have all these doubts floating around. Also, year abroad in China? Jealous!
 
 
 
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