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Is this sexist?
Got a couple of things and I wonder if they're considered sexist:
Women swearing: I generally find it very unattractive as I find swearing aggressive and vulgar which I don't think are attractive traits for a woman to have.
Gender specific tasks: In a marridge I would prefer that we sticked to gender defined household tasks. I would clean the car, take out rubbish, mow the lawn etc while my wife would iron, Hoover etc. This isn't just because I wouldn't want to do 'feminine' jobs but I wouldn't want my wife doing 'masculine' ones that are more dirty and physically hard because if she was I would feel like I wasn't being a good husband by making her from such un lady like tasks.
Staying home with the baby: I would work because I would want to provide for my wife and baby. I wouldn't feel like a good husband if I allowed my wife to work while I looked after the baby.
I know these views are old fashioned and I wouldn't enforce them with an iron fist but are they sexist? Is wanting to provide for and protect your wife sexist? Is wanting a lady to act feminine sexist?
Women swearing: I generally find it very unattractive as I find swearing aggressive and vulgar which I don't think are attractive traits for a woman to have.
Gender specific tasks: In a marridge I would prefer that we sticked to gender defined household tasks. I would clean the car, take out rubbish, mow the lawn etc while my wife would iron, Hoover etc. This isn't just because I wouldn't want to do 'feminine' jobs but I wouldn't want my wife doing 'masculine' ones that are more dirty and physically hard because if she was I would feel like I wasn't being a good husband by making her from such un lady like tasks.
Staying home with the baby: I would work because I would want to provide for my wife and baby. I wouldn't feel like a good husband if I allowed my wife to work while I looked after the baby.
I know these views are old fashioned and I wouldn't enforce them with an iron fist but are they sexist? Is wanting to provide for and protect your wife sexist? Is wanting a lady to act feminine sexist?
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I'll ****ing swear all I ****ing want. I'll also mow the lawn when I want to.
Wanting to protect and provide for someone is one thing. I want to protect and provide for my husband and children (when they come along
)
But wanting your wife to act feminine and stick to traditional gender stereotypes? Why the hell should she?
Wanting to protect and provide for someone is one thing. I want to protect and provide for my husband and children (when they come along
)But wanting your wife to act feminine and stick to traditional gender stereotypes? Why the hell should she?
Original post by rachel.h
I'll ****ing swear all I ****ing want. I'll also mow the lawn when I want to.
Wanting to protect and provide for someone is one thing. I want to protect and provide for my husband and children (when they come along)
But wanting your wife to act feminine and stick to traditional gender stereotypes? Why the hell should she?
Wanting to protect and provide for someone is one thing. I want to protect and provide for my husband and children (when they come along
)But wanting your wife to act feminine and stick to traditional gender stereotypes? Why the hell should she?
So it is sexist?
On the flip side would you expect your husband to be manly?
Original post by Jacob :)
Got a couple of things and I wonder if they're considered sexist:
Women swearing: I generally find it very unattractive as I find swearing aggressive and vulgar which I don't think are attractive traits for a woman to have.
Women swearing: I generally find it very unattractive as I find swearing aggressive and vulgar which I don't think are attractive traits for a woman to have.
Not sexist if you find men swearing vulgar as well
[QUOTE=Jacob [excludedFace]smile[/excludedFace];41773593]
Gender specific tasks: In a marridge I would prefer that we sticked to gender defined household tasks. I would clean the car, take out rubbish, mow the lawn etc while my wife would iron, Hoover etc. This isn't just because I wouldn't want to do 'feminine' jobs but I wouldn't want my wife doing 'masculine' ones that are more dirty and physically hard because if she was I would feel like I wasn't being a good husband by making her from such un lady like tasks.
Yes, and I'd prefer her to help with some of the more masculine ones where she can as well. Not exactly that hard to clean a car tbh
[QUOTE=Jacob [excludedFace]smile[/excludedFace];41773593]
Staying home with the baby: I would work because I would want to provide for my wife and baby. I wouldn't feel like a good husband if I allowed my wife to work while I looked after the baby.
Sexist if you don't have a problem with working yourself (though you'd both be scroungers then), and if you are also willing to stay with the baby, but because you want to work and disallow her to work, then yes that's sexist
[QUOTE=Jacob [excludedFace]smile[/excludedFace];41773593]
I know these views are old fashioned and I wouldn't enforce them with an iron fist but are they sexist? Is wanting to provide for and protect your wife sexist? Is wanting a lady to act feminine sexist?
First one no, second one no - there's a difference between wanting and expecting, but the way you worded your post, yes you do sound sexist
(edited 11 years ago)
I don't think it's massively sexist.
It has elements of sexism but who cares?
I don't actually care anymore.
Sexism is never going to go away so people should get used to the fact that men think in this way (not all)
It has elements of sexism but who cares?
I don't actually care anymore.
Sexism is never going to go away so people should get used to the fact that men think in this way (not all)
Original post by Jacob :)
So it is sexist?
On the flip side would you expect your husband to be manly?
On the flip side would you expect your husband to be manly?
Yes, I think it's sexism. I don't really know what you mean by 'manly'. I hope he will have a penis, if that helps. I also don't expect either of us to fulfil traditional gender defined roles.
Original post by de_monies
Yes if you find men swearing vulgar as well
Yes, and I'd prefer her to help with some of the more masculine ones where she can as well. Not exactly that hard to clean a car tbh
Sexist if you don't have a problem with working yourself (though you'd both be scroungers then), and if you are also willing to stay with the baby, but because you want to work and disallow her to work, then yes that's sexist
First one no, second one no - there's a difference between wanting and expecting, but the way you worded your post, yes you do sound sexist
Yes, and I'd prefer her to help with some of the more masculine ones where she can as well. Not exactly that hard to clean a car tbh
Sexist if you don't have a problem with working yourself (though you'd both be scroungers then), and if you are also willing to stay with the baby, but because you want to work and disallow her to work, then yes that's sexist
First one no, second one no - there's a difference between wanting and expecting, but the way you worded your post, yes you do sound sexist
My wife could work if she wants but she would have to. That's the point I want to make. I should be able to provide for both of us so she only has to work if she wants to.
Original post by Amanbabbar./
I don't think it's massively sexist.
It has elements of sexism but who cares?
I don't actually care anymore.
Sexism is never going to go away so people should get used to the fact that men think in this way (not all)
It has elements of sexism but who cares?
I don't actually care anymore.
Sexism is never going to go away so people should get used to the fact that men think in this way (not all)
Not massively sexist, but still sexist nonetheless imo. BTW, you stalking my posts?
Notice how a man saying "he wants a woman to act feminine" is considered sexist or at least verging on it, but when a girl wants a "manly" man no one bats an eyelid.
Original post by de_monies
Not massively sexist, but still sexist nonetheless imo. BTW, you stalking my posts?
No LOL. I think you're stalking mine :')
Original post by rachel.h
Yes, I think it's sexism. I don't really know what you mean by 'manly'. I hope he will have a penis, if that helps. I also don't expect either of us to fulfil traditional gender defined roles.
So if your man was a crossdresser you'd be fine with it?
To be honest I sometimes find it frustrating when man does something for me im perfectly capable of doing but is just trying to be a gentleman. I understand that he is 'only trying to be nice' but it does send the message that 'aww you're just a girl, you cant do things, here let me do it for you'.
I dont know if its sexist but i also dont know if your future wife would be happy with that set up. You say you wouldnt wanna look after a baby cos you'd rather be out providing. What about providing love and cuddles? To me, a man is more of a man when he can spend time nurturing his child rather than simply bringing home the bacon.
Also,
If she wanted to do so called 'manly' tasks like (heaven forbid) mowing the lawn or taking the rubbish out, you wouldnt be making her do it then would you? Plus manly jobs arent that more physically taxing than hoovering, mopping etc, they require the same amount of effort.
What if one day you decided you wanted to iron but she would never let you because she wouldnt want you doing something that required such feminine hands?
I dont know if its sexist but i also dont know if your future wife would be happy with that set up. You say you wouldnt wanna look after a baby cos you'd rather be out providing. What about providing love and cuddles? To me, a man is more of a man when he can spend time nurturing his child rather than simply bringing home the bacon.
Also,
I wouldn't want my wife doing 'masculine' ones that are more dirty and physically hard because if she was I would feel like I wasn't being a good husband by making her from such un lady like tasks.
If she wanted to do so called 'manly' tasks like (heaven forbid) mowing the lawn or taking the rubbish out, you wouldnt be making her do it then would you? Plus manly jobs arent that more physically taxing than hoovering, mopping etc, they require the same amount of effort.
What if one day you decided you wanted to iron but she would never let you because she wouldnt want you doing something that required such feminine hands?
I don't really believe that household chores have clearly defined gender roles any more. I live with my boyfriend and we do have split tasks, some are more traditionally defined I guess (I cook, he takes the bins out), but he does all the laundry and I do all the DIY tasks so I guess that would be a swap of the traditional roles, but it works for us and isn't an issue.
Original post by pandabird
Very unattractive views.
That's totally understandable but can you go in to more detail for me? Would you not expect your husband to provide for you and be manly? Or would he stay at home while you work?
Original post by Jacob :)
So it is sexist?
On the flip side would you expect your husband to be manly?
On the flip side would you expect your husband to be manly?
I don't think it's sexist at all. People have expectations of partners; those are yours.
You have no obligation to be egalitarian about your preferences; they are what they are.
No, having the preferences you have isn't sexist.
No, having the preferences you have isn't sexist.
(edited 11 years ago)
Original post by Jacob :)
Got a couple of things and I wonder if they're considered sexist:
Women swearing: I generally find it very unattractive as I find swearing aggressive and vulgar which I don't think are attractive traits for a woman to have.
Gender specific tasks: In a marridge I would prefer that we sticked to gender defined household tasks. I would clean the car, take out rubbish, mow the lawn etc while my wife would iron, Hoover etc. This isn't just because I wouldn't want to do 'feminine' jobs but I wouldn't want my wife doing 'masculine' ones that are more dirty and physically hard because if she was I would feel like I wasn't being a good husband by making her from such un lady like tasks.
Staying home with the baby: I would work because I would want to provide for my wife and baby. I wouldn't feel like a good husband if I allowed my wife to work while I looked after the baby.
I know these views are old fashioned and I wouldn't enforce them with an iron fist but are they sexist? Is wanting to provide for and protect your wife sexist? Is wanting a lady to act feminine sexist?
Women swearing: I generally find it very unattractive as I find swearing aggressive and vulgar which I don't think are attractive traits for a woman to have.
Gender specific tasks: In a marridge I would prefer that we sticked to gender defined household tasks. I would clean the car, take out rubbish, mow the lawn etc while my wife would iron, Hoover etc. This isn't just because I wouldn't want to do 'feminine' jobs but I wouldn't want my wife doing 'masculine' ones that are more dirty and physically hard because if she was I would feel like I wasn't being a good husband by making her from such un lady like tasks.
Staying home with the baby: I would work because I would want to provide for my wife and baby. I wouldn't feel like a good husband if I allowed my wife to work while I looked after the baby.
I know these views are old fashioned and I wouldn't enforce them with an iron fist but are they sexist? Is wanting to provide for and protect your wife sexist? Is wanting a lady to act feminine sexist?
When it comes to marriage, you're entitled to whatever preferences you like. It's not so much that she's a woman, but that she's your other half. Being a woman would be one of the things you look for, along with the other things you mention. For swearing, again, you're talking about attraction. Presumably you don't find men attractive whether they swear or not.
If you were to try and push your likes onto someone, then you'd run into trouble, but just looking for someone who matches what you like in a partner is fine.
Essentially, there's a difference between "I want someone who ..." and "Women should ...". One's your preference, and the other is oppression.
(edited 11 years ago)
Original post by Lexi99
What if one day you decided you wanted to iron but she would never let you because she wouldnt want you doing something that required such feminine hands?
What if one day you decided you wanted to iron but she would never let you because she wouldnt want you doing something that required such feminine hands?
As long as she would do that for me as I would do the 'manly' tasks for her. This wouldn't be all set in stone I know each couple would be slightly different.
Try to focus a bit more on the bright future instead of the mid evil days,,, in the year 2080 nobody has to work any more becasue the robots do all the ())*& jobs for us ,, so u and ur wife can sleep out every day and snugle each other,.....
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