My manager at work implied to me that the way to overcome bullying is to suck up the bullies and then they will leave me alone.
There is ZERO PERCENT chance I will ever do that, in fact I would prefer to carry on being bullied.
I mentioned that to my manager, and he accused me of being arrogant.
I cannot see it myself, so I am asking TSR for a general consensus.
Is the way to deal with bullies to suck up to them? If not, then why is my manager implying this? Is he a bully, too? Is he in league with them? Does he think I am a weak mug?
Is it arrogant not to suck up to bullies? watch
Isambard Kingdom Brunel
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Last edited by Isambard Kingdom Brunel; 12-03-2013 at 12:57.
- 12-03-2013 12:49
- 12-03-2013 12:51
Nope. Your manager is a ****.
- 12-03-2013 12:53
Best way to deal with bullies is to put them in their place in front of as many people who know them as possible.
To not suck up to them isn't arrogant - it shows self respect.
- 12-03-2013 13:00
You're not being arrogant you're defending you free will, don't let the bullies make you do what you don't want to. Just flat out ask them what their problem is when one of them is alone.
- 12-03-2013 13:01
9/10 work place managers are, basically, bullies to be honest. Seems to me that even people who weren't previously bullies, quickly fall into that role as soon as they're in a management position, as a mechanism for keeping staff in line.
This usually applies to mid-level management, not higher management, who tend to be much more respectful (at least openly). For example, a shop manager within a large chain of shops... will often have a bit of a littleman bully complex.
Of course that sort of person thinks the best way to deal with it is by "sucking up"... the reason for this is two-fold: for one, they like their immediate staff to suck up to them. Secondly, they have spent years perfecting the art of sucking up to their own superiors for career progression purposes.
Feel free to ignore his "advice". It's self-serving crap. The best way to deal with a bully isn't even to "stand up to them", really. The best way to deal with one, is to make them feel ridiculous in their attempts to bully. Make them feel small. That is a bully's weak spot.