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When should I commit? No-strings sex vs. possible relationship Watch

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    (Original post by IxI_Rhys_IxI)
    I hope for his sake, he doesn't find out about this. If I found out someone I liked was doing that, it would put me immediately off from seeing them as a long-term relationship partner.
    This.

    "oh by the way, when our relationship was just beginning to blossom but hadn't quite become official yet, I was ****ing other guys."

    Yeah, nah.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Why would he care? It's not like we're in a relationship. (TBH, if he reacted badly then that would be a real warning sign.)
    True, but some people just have different approaches to relationships, and may find you ****ing other guys while you're going on dates as a warning sign for themselves.

    There is a wide spectrum of approaches to this and thus it's entirely possible for misunderstandings to occur.

    For example, if I found out you're ****ing other guys while dating me, I'm probably going to take that as a sign that you're someone who casually ****s around (which yourself have admitted to and like so is fine) and thus I am going to file you away under the category of 'Harmless fun, a booty call, someone who I get on okay with and can have some fun but otherwise am not going to open up to and allow to proceed further' emotionally and relationship wise.

    That would not be a mark against you but just a mechanism which I and many people develop to protect themselves from getting hurt etc.


    You say you're thinking of dating the first guy properly and taking it to the next level up but the problem with that is you gotta make changes pretty early on, such as cutting back on the getting around and going exclusive before that conversation even happens. At the least be up-front with the guys involved (that is you have openly admitted to the first guy that you are seeing other people, especially if the topic comes up, if he finds out himself he may probably be upset, and most likely will cool off and eventually stop seeing you).


    Good luck and hope you come to the decision you want/is a good fit for you. If casually seeing people is your preferred approach and it works for you I'd say don't try and force a relationship. I usually say that a maybe is effectively a non-committal no.
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    (Original post by deedee123)
    Charming, you don't sound like someone that a slut would want to marry.


    I'd break it off now OP, I'd be quite hurt if I was him and you didn't stop having sex with the other guy until you were officially going out.
    Fixed. You actually believe someone who sleeps around is able to changed personality so much as to remain loyal and commit to one person for life?
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    (Original post by Redolent)
    This.

    "oh by the way, when our relationship was just beginning to blossom but hadn't quite become official yet, I was ****ing other guys."

    Yeah, nah.

    What relationship? We're just friends hanging out. Who you currently sleep with has nothing to do with me. It's your life. Oh I just remember I have an appointment. Got to go. Goodbye.
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    (Original post by firaWhoops)
    What relationship? We're just friends hanging out. Who you currently sleep with has nothing to do with me. It's your life. Oh I just remember I have an appointment. Got to go. Goodbye.
    What?
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    (Original post by firaWhoops)
    Fixed. You actually believe someone who sleeps around is able to changed personality so much as to remain loyal and commit to one person for life?
    Why have you changed it? It makes no sense now, I was saying i cant imagine why anyone would want to marry you, slut or saint.

    Anyone who has casual sex can't stay committed when they're in a relationship? What a ridiculous generalisation. Most people I know have had casual sex at one point or another in their life, and hardly any have cheated.
 
 
 
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