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A homosexual muslim's dilemma. Watch

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    (Original post by dale denton)
    Wait, are you stupid?? If you went to mosque to learn this, you'd know that being gay is absolutely sinful and WILL cast you out of the fold of islam. you cant be a muslim AND gay, thats absolutely ridiculous. E.g All muslims know that associating partners with God is the worst sin and will definitely make you a disbeliever. It's still a sin, so your point is irrelevant.
    My suggestion? Fix the screw that's loose in your head
    Thanks for responding.

    There are 2 types of major sins in Islam.

    The first type are those that put you out of the fold of Islam. This includes, what you rightly said, associating partners with Allah, but also includes Black magic.

    The other type (which are the majority) are those that do not put you out of the fold of Islam. This includes sodomy, adultery and others. Even if you commit to these sins, you will not go out of the fold of Islam.
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    (Original post by paperskin)
    I understand how you feel and I hope that everything is getting better. Reconciling Islam with homosexuality is hard in the beginning but my point is: Islam doesn't not contradict homosexual love, though it's against all kind of lust (heterosexual or homosexual). Lust and love should never be confused. You can travel in a world where love is all and all is love regardless of gender. At the end, the beloved is the shell and you are the pearl and vice versa. One name is enough for both as when you say one you say the other. At the end of the day love is what is important and you're a soul not a body, your soul may love another one even if he's a man. What I can advise is to seek this kind of love and to avoid what is forbidden by Islam: a never ending lust. In all types of relationships you should primarily love the soul not the body as it's irrelevant in the immaterial and spiritual world. Don't hate yourself ''you are the universe in ecstatic motion''. Nothing is wrong with you and no punishment should await the one who loves. As for the Muslim community and your family I'll certainly wouldn't advise you to tell them anything. It does depend though on your family as some may accept you if you are really, really close to them. I could give you some advise about that and other things if you PM me.
    Thank you for your kind response .

    I will PM you soon.
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    (Original post by Meron)
    Please don't hate yourself, you are wonderful as you are focus only on that. You don't have to rush into telling anyone, especially those who you think won't take it easy. If you are sixth former, I would strongly advice to wait till you go to university if you are planning to.There you can discuss things with LGBT society, Islamic society,and advice/counselling center. You will be able to be more independent and less attached to your community because you be able to make a variety of friends. Take it slow, don't personalize things, there is nothing wrong with you. Eventually you will have clearer idea about the person you want to be, just don't be harsh on yourself. :console:

    Thankyou for your kind words. I will be going back to uni soon so I'll join the LGBT society there.
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    (Original post by samcharles)
    Well tbh, Islam is pretty clear about homosexuality, there is no 'inidividual opinion' that can be derived. The thing is, if each and every one of us were to come up with our own rulings and laws then don't you think its kinda pointless to 'submit' yourself to God, when in fact you are not submitting to His laws.

    Not necessarily. If everyone made up their own rules to suit them (e.g. I think it's okay to steal because I want to steal) then that would reflect a sin and deviation from God, yes, but if you adopt a set of ruling based on what you truly believe, and what you truly interpret as God's will, then in my eyes that is a more loyal approach to worship than mindlessly following what is written. I can see no reason why Allah would not intend a different set of rulings for each individual, and indeed that makes far more sense than a catch-all that applies to everyone, regardless of situation. Because we are all different and all face different trials.


    Those verses in the scripture speak of 'perversion' i.e. deviating from the natural order. People who went against what Allah intended for them. Agreed? Well that makes no sense to apply towards homosexual men, because they are not naturally intended for females. They can't be. Everything in their body, the natural God-given body they have, tells them they are meant for males. It is my interpretation that those verses are intended towards heterosexuals who, overcome with lust, threw down the partners Allah had intended for them (women) and took each other as partners. But the point isn't that they did the dirty with other men. The point is that they willfully and purposefully thwarted God's will. Allah made them heterosexual, he made them for women and they disobeyed. It would make no sense to apply this verse to real homosexuals, because they are not made for women. The people referred to sourced their desires from sin and evil. Homosexuals are born with it. Allah has given it to them. It would actually be as sinful and perverted for a homosexual man to lie with a woman he has no loving feelings for as for two straight men to do the same.

    You may disagree with my interpretation. That is fair. But I mean only to demonstrate that Islam is not clear on this topic, because I read those verses the same as you and this is the conclusion I came to.
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    (Original post by theorangebox)
    Not necessarily. If everyone made up their own rules to suit them (e.g. I think it's okay to steal because I want to steal) then that would reflect a sin and deviation from God, yes, but if you adopt a set of ruling based on what you truly believe, and what you truly interpret as God's will, then in my eyes that is a more loyal approach to worship than mindlessly following what is written. I can see no reason why Allah would not intend a different set of rulings for each individual, and indeed that makes far more sense than a catch-all that applies to everyone, regardless of situation. Because we are all different and all face different trials.


    Those verses in the scripture speak of 'perversion' i.e. deviating from the natural order. People who went against what Allah intended for them. Agreed? Well that makes no sense to apply towards homosexual men, because they are not naturally intended for females. They can't be. Everything in their body, the natural God-given body they have, tells them they are meant for males. It is my interpretation that those verses are intended towards heterosexuals who, overcome with lust, threw down the partners Allah had intended for them (women) and took each other as partners. But the point isn't that they did the dirty with other men. The point is that they willfully and purposefully thwarted God's will. Allah made them heterosexual, he made them for women and they disobeyed. It would make no sense to apply this verse to real homosexuals, because they are not made for women. The people referred to sourced their desires from sin and evil. Homosexuals are born with it. Allah has given it to them. It would actually be as sinful and perverted for a homosexual man to lie with a woman he has no loving feelings for as for two straight men to do the same.

    You may disagree with my interpretation. That is fair. But I mean only to demonstrate that Islam is not clear on this topic, because I read those verses the same as you and this is the conclusion I came to.
    So are you saying that anyone can read a verse from the Quran and come to their own conclusion? If this is the case than I am afraid this is not acceptable as Allah sent Prophet Muhammad (Saw) to explain the meaning behind each verse and we have many scholars who have studied thousands f Hadith and dedicated their lives to study the religion in order to provide us with specific rulings on these issues. As not all of us can study the religion in so much detail and accurately derive rulings.

    This is why now you get many people saying hijab is not compulsory and many other controversial issues. At the end of the day, if you choose to take this path of interpreting such evidence yourself and deriving your own interpretation then so be it, but remember to fear Allah and a day when we will all be answerable for our actions.
    May Allah guide us all to the straight path.


    One question to the anon, do you think homosexual desires are natural...if so can you please provide me with evidence on this.

    Peace.



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    (Original post by samcharles)
    So are you saying that anyone can read a verse from the Quran and come to their own conclusion? If this is the case than I am afraid this is not acceptable as Allah sent Prophet Muhammad (Saw) to explain the meaning behind each verse and we have many scholars who have studied thousands f Hadith and dedicated their lives to study the religion in order to provide us with specific rulings on these issues. As not all of us can study the religion in so much detail and accurately derive rulings.
    With all respect, but the scholars have different views, too and are by themselves only children of their time and culture, e.g. Iran vs. Indonesia. Thus even when only depending on scholars (and how will you judge, who is the right one?) - which most of us are in one or another way, as theology is by no means an easy subject - you will hear different opinions and have to decide whichone is to follow. Simply rejecting any further research and liberating oneselve from the task to actually understand what is behind the words is - in my personal view and culture I come from - just taking the easy way and not convincing. I mean when I stand before god, and god is asking me "Why?", I hardly think the answer: "It is written there." is really convincing. Nevertheless it is a very interesting topic on it's own and we could talk hours over it. Anyway, would you been able to take everything word by word, no scholar would be necessary at all.
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    omdz not another one of these threads
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    (Original post by samcharles)

    One question to the anon, do you think homosexual desires are natural...if so can you please provide me with evidence on this.

    Peace.

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    I do believe it is natural, but how we deal with it depends on ourselves and what we believe.

    There are many articles, papers and scientific literature that points towards homosexuality being determined before birth, in the womb of the mother. Also, the structure and wiring of the brain in a homosexual man is different to that of a heterosexual man (and the difference is there with homosexual and heterosexual women), hence physiological differences.

    These are just a few things I've pointed out. There is a lot more evidence, but if you want to actually learn more than you can research it yourself.

    There is nothing in Islam that condemns how I feel and you will have to agree that Islam really only talks about sodomy as an act. Anal sex between a husband and wife in Islam is also prohibited.

    Whether you choose to believe the evidence out there or not is a moot point. The truth will always be the truth.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I do believe it is natural, but how we deal with it depends on ourselves and what we believe.

    There are many articles, papers and scientific literature that points towards homosexuality being determined before birth, in the womb of the mother. Also, the structure and wiring of the brain in a homosexual man is different to that of a heterosexual man (and the difference is there with homosexual and heterosexual women), hence physiological differences.

    These are just a few things I've pointed out. There is a lot more evidence, but if you want to actually learn more than you can research it yourself.

    There is nothing in Islam that condemns how I feel and you will have to agree that Islam really only talks about sodomy as an act. Anal sex between a husband and wife in Islam is also prohibited.

    Whether you choose to believe the evidence out there or not is a moot point. The truth will always be the truth.
    Thank you for your response, I could go on but I don't really have much insight into this topic. I really do understand what you mean tho and I sincerely pray that help comes your way.

    As you say you want other Muslims to become more accepting of you and stuff I have thought of a way you can get help whilst raising awareness to other Muslims about the problem. Thus removing the stereotypical hostile response.

    Basically this man called Imran ibn mansur is a Muslim guy who knows a lot about the religion, but as he is young he is more understanding of youth problems in our time and he has a huge following on Facebook and other social media with thousands of Muslims. You can find him on Facebook if you want to know more about him.
    But basically he has started up this thing called naseeha sessions where different Muslims send him in depth personal stories and he makes a YouTube video about it and giving guidance and stuff. But I can assure you, as I have met this guy myself he is not the typical stereotypical kinda guy who would give you the 'you're going to hell' kinda answer, he is more understanding and can give you more personal and helpful advice and alternatives.

    I hope that you have benefitted from my advice, even in the slightest and I pray that you are able to find a solution to this problem insha'Allah.
    Please forgive me if I have misunderstood anything and remember not all Muslims are hostile towards homosexuals, some can be quite supportive too.

    I think I will leave it there.

    Peace.



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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    (Before I begin, I just want to say that I know the stance of homosexuality within Islam and it's rulings and that I do adhere to my religion and no, homosexuality is not a choice).

    I am a gay muslim and wanted to get some advice. Apart from 2 people, no one knows that I am gay. Trying to reconcile my homosexuality with Islam has been hard, to say the least, and it doesn't help that I have hardly anyone to talk to about this, hence why I am making this thread.

    What can I do to reconcile with myself, instead of going into a pit of depression, anxiety and self hatred, which I am slowly going into? Telling anyone within the family or the muslim community would be social suicide and I would treated as someone with an incurable highly infectious disease. Any advice would be appreciated, particularly from any other gay muslims.
    Do what you think is right. Allah Forgives EVERYTHING ! If you think you are gay, then live your life as a gay. As long as on Qiamah you can explain yourself then who are we to judge. There once was a prostitute who seemed destined to jahanam. But she was forgiven by Allah because she gave water to a dog using her shoe (not suggesting that you are a prostitute). Just like that, do what you think is right but make sure you have a clean heart, Strong Iman and do good deeds. Allah never does injustice.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    (Before I begin, I just want to say that I know the stance of homosexuality within Islam and it's rulings and that I do adhere to my religion and no, homosexuality is not a choice).

    I am a gay muslim and wanted to get some advice. Apart from 2 people, no one knows that I am gay. Trying to reconcile my homosexuality with Islam has been hard, to say the least, and it doesn't help that I have hardly anyone to talk to about this, hence why I am making this thread.

    What can I do to reconcile with myself, instead of going into a pit of depression, anxiety and self hatred, which I am slowly going into? Telling anyone within the family or the muslim community would be social suicide and I would treated as someone with an incurable highly infectious disease. Any advice would be appreciated, particularly from any other gay muslims.
    I am gay too, I have lived 10 years of my life fighting myself trying to tell myself that I am a straight man who just needs some therapy, prayed to God that I just wake up one day and all the desires and attraction is only to women instead of men, well..NO, didn't happen never will. What you're feeling is totally normal; thousands I think millions feel the same, whether they admit it within their souls or not, they're NOT straight. Accepting yourself as white black ugly pretty short tall ,weird guy normal guy awesome guy whatever is a part of oneself one day will know and deal with, same as being straight or gay, but the difference here is that to accept that you are straight would be so normal..upnormal to talk about it, because come on...everyone CAN be straight, straight people don't usually talk about Oh we the straight people have issues; they just point to themselves as we the engineers or the students or whatever name...not (WE THE straight people)..maybe that's why its so difficult for straight people to talk and discuss LGBT issues, most of the straight minds just think of it as a choice, I get extremely furious when someone just point to us and say : You chose to be gay, stop it and get back straight. Really! You actually think that I woke up one day and decided that I am gonna be Gay and have an extremely complicated life with unpredictable consequences, and have YOU call me names and curse swear with words I never heard before, who do you think you are to just point out to me, if you don't have enough information about something (whatever it is) at least act smart and at just shut UP, one day lots of people will laugh at your ignorance, every human on earth has his own doubts, problems and dilemmas, You yourself has a dozen if you tell me or anyone about it, I won't laugh I won't push you away, I will respect you coming to me with this issue..if I have a good answer I'd give it, if not, either advice you to go to someone or somewhere to find the answer, or I'll just SHUT UP, simple isn't it.

    So, I fought being gay, now I'm 25 and I finally accepted the fact that I can't change it, I looked for many many treatments whether online, offline, texts, books, well..nothing work, I even tried to watch straight porn for some time, maybe watching straight people would simply infect me with the straight virus or something, well, obviously didn't..at all, then I took it further, as a man I watched Lesbian porno..for some time, naa didn't work too, straight people would wonder how would he watch this and get excited, would you get excited to see gay porno? Eww disgusting, typical. If it was a choice, then a lot of straight people would marry their best friends if they love them deeply, I think every one of us saw 2 friends are extremely close to the point that you can say they should marry oh but unfortunately they're the same gender, I saw a lotS.

    I don't care if you don't agree with me or even attack me, but please DO NOT MAKE THE OTHER PEOPLE UPSET, because in the end of the day you didn't add much, you may had a little giggle inside your chest then went for whatever you were doing, didn't add anything positive to this thread, a battery life, your fingers and eyes made an effort to do nothing ..Lame.

    The whole LGBT issue is still new, the media isn't helping, hiding all the lies in the world, and also making the LGBT people disgusting and making any attempt to get their rights as an impossible odd thing to happen, the world will have empathy on this topic one day, the world will understand one day, until that day, we'll be holding the flag of defending ourselves on our own.


    CAN :darling I can't, its not possible for me to become straight exactly the impossibility for you to become gay or lesbian.

    Yo world get some PEACE real soon
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    Hiya,

    Someone recently told me, and it is true, that you are allowed to have homosexual feelings, but islamic-ly you can never act upon it.

    .
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    (Original post by McFlury)
    why would you want to be part of a religion and community that would be so against who you are?
    (Original post by Tabzqt)
    My honest advice is to leave Islam, you'd be a lot happier not being guilt-ridden and repressed just for who you are.
    (Original post by JC.)
    I thought the rules said you were either one or the other? :confused:

    The religion isn't against gay people, its against the act itself (sodomy or the sexual act).

    I am not repressed by my religion, neither the guy who started the thread, its not islam or the teachings that we are dealing with, its the people in general and a bunch of other muslims who think its a choice.

    Ain't no rules say so! A rule say you're either muslim or atheist a muslim or jew (not both), but a muslim and gay is ok .. and NO there's no verse in the Quran neither in the hadeeth (sayings of the prophet of Islam) say a muslim can't be gay, if a muslim wants to be gay so it is, as long as he's not making sins, he won't be punished, if he commit a sin, he'll be punished the same as any other muslim, Islam doesn't discriminate muslims from each other but in one thing its called Taqwa (Piety), whether you're white black born muslim new muslim only Piety distinguishes one another -which- one can't find out unless he lives inside others souls, so in fact discrimination between msulims shouldn't exist at all, what we see is part of the personal views.
    -----------------------------------------------------------------

    An advice for the thread starter, it is hard to keep it a secret, but if you see that coming out to a member of the family possible who would be understanding enough, then tell him/her, if not, then think of it as time changes a lot of things one of them is people's thoughts, so one day maybe they will be ready and you can tell them, concentrate your efforts on other aspects of your life, and keep those members of family or friends that you may out to one day very close, so when the day comes their subconscious will defend who you always been adding one more info about your character won't suddenly change who you are.
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    #9

    I'm Gay and Muslim.

    Reason why I posted anonymous? I'd rather keep my private life offline.

    Please understand that the worst ever sin in Islam to be committed is Shirk so if you believe that Allah is the only God and the only deity worthy of worship then you are still in Islam. The sin of homosexuality has been amplified but in actual fact, homosexuality is the same as sex before marriage, stealing, fraud, etc. They are all sins but Shirk is the sin that will take you out of Islam.
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    hey, i'm a homosexual girl. however i'm not religious.
    in my opinion, i can imagine that you're really trapped. i'm open-minded when it comes to religion, and i don't know a thing about islam but i don't think you should feel bad about who you are.

    being gay is 100% not a choice, it IS natural. whether people like it or not you were most certainly born this way. religion, however is a social construction (bare that in mind)

    i don't think you should leave islam. everybody has the right to have a faith. you are who you are. you were born this way and you should be proud, regardless of what others may say about being a muslim homosexual. lying about your identity and hiding this forever could cause major depression if you conform to a traditional life/marriage.

    if i was religious, i'd think my god would love me however i am, because i was created this way. imagine being with someone you really love, you could be so happy.

    never betray yourself.
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    (Original post by timetopretend)
    hey, i'm a homosexual girl. however i'm not religious.
    in my opinion, i can imagine that you're really trapped. i'm open-minded when it comes to religion, and i don't know a thing about islam but i don't think you should feel bad about who you are.

    being gay is 100% not a choice, it IS natural. whether people like it or not you were most certainly born this way. religion, however is a social construction (bare that in mind)

    i don't think you should leave islam. everybody has the right to have a faith. you are who you are. you were born this way and you should be proud, regardless of what others may say about being a muslim homosexual. lying about your identity and hiding this forever could cause major depression if you conform to a traditional life/marriage.

    if i was religious, i'd think my god would love me however i am, because i was created this way. imagine being with someone you really love, you could be so happy.

    never betray yourself.
    Thank you for responding and for your kind words.

    I can't and I won't conform to a "traditional" life, no matter what the cost. It's not worth ruining my life (and indeed the woman's life) over.

    Depression has already rampaging through my life. It's not that I don't feel comfortable with myself, it's the people around me. It's like poison and unfortunately I can't get out of the situation.
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    (Original post by Dan1607)
    I wouldn't be surprised if the majority of Muslim's in the western world are gay.
    Islam doesn't work in the western world and that is why you have these idiots coming out as being gay.

    Can you please enlighten us, because I can't understand how you managed to combine all these things together.
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    #10

    I cannot imagine what you're going through. I feel completely for you. I always wonder, and you must understand this, that from a traditional (or not traditional) outsiders point of view, the idea of the same sex attracted to each other is hard to fathom. Even amongst the non-religious. How did you find out you were gay?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Thanks for responding.

    *Hugs*
    <3 I feel for you, hun. I really hope you find your way and it isn't too painful.
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    Repent!! Allah will forgive you, Turn a new leaf.
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Any constructive response is a good response to me, thank you .

    I have no siblings and (due to other reasons) I cannot talk to any of my cousins. To be honest, in the asian muslim community, even many of the younger people are quite disgusted by even the thought of a man attracted to a man, and then there is always the problem of trust. Can I trust that person to not tell anyone else?

    I don't think I would ever come out to the older people.

    The 2 people, I'm actually out to, are online friends.
 
 
 
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