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A homosexual muslim's dilemma. Watch

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    Lmao! When i saw the post i was shocked
    (Original post by The.Defender)
    Can you please enlighten us, because I can't understand how you managed to combine all these things together.
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    (Original post by The.Defender)
    Can you please enlighten us, because I can't understand how you managed to combine all these things together.
    It is simply due to the inability of keeping connected to ones own religious community when the wider society is the polar opposite. Just look at the percentage of Jews who actually practice the Jewish faith. Since there is such a need for conformity in such religions, the desire to break free and become different is multiplied and so coming out as something like being gay is the ultimate freedom from such conformity. Of course what is actually happening is that such individuals are still conforming but to the wider community in general, a community which encourages one to embrace both their individuality and thus their sexuality. I'm not saying whether any of this is right or wrong but that is how I view the state of affairs.
    • #11
    #11

    Firstly being 'gay and muslim' is wrong just like in any other religion!
    The Quran itself says the throne of god shakes when a guy mounts another guy
    Thus any doing that upsets god is clearly haram,
    Secondly as a 'gay muslim' my self that struggles with this mentality of being attracted to
    Other guys I have researched and researched endlessly and In which I have had no answers
    And quit frankally nor will you as the person that knows the answer is you!
    Yes you can get reassurance from fellow gays but will they be going through the same thing as
    You? No they won't everybody finds their own way of dealing with their problems

    You need to choose do you want to be a Muslim that is gay but thinks of it as a test by god and
    Finds calmity and peace by praying in which inshallah your patience shall be rewarded for or do
    You want to be a Muslim that is gay and acts on his desires and receive punishment in the afterlife?
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Firstly being 'gay and muslim' is wrong just like in any other religion!
    The Quran itself says the throne of god shakes when a guy mounts another guy
    Thus any doing that upsets god is clearly haram,
    Secondly as a 'gay muslim' my self that struggles with this mentality of being attracted to
    Other guys I have researched and researched endlessly and In which I have had no answers
    And quit frankally nor will you as the person that knows the answer is you!
    Yes you can get reassurance from fellow gays but will they be going through the same thing as
    You? No they won't everybody finds their own way of dealing with their problems

    You need to choose do you want to be a Muslim that is gay but thinks of it as a test by god and
    Finds calmity and peace by praying in which inshallah your patience shall be rewarded for or do
    You want to be a Muslim that is gay and acts on his desires and receive punishment in the afterlife?
    Thanks for responding.

    I don't believe there's anything wrong with being gay and Muslim. I didn't choose to feel the way I did as much as you. I'm Muslim that happens to be attracted to men, is that really wrong?

    Not the Qur'an, it's a lesser hadith that says that.

    You automatically assume that homosexuality is psychological? That is far from the truth. A lot of it is physiological as I've said before.

    When I read this, it reminded of me of myself a couple of years ago. I hated myself and parts of me still do.

    As I said, the Qur'an and hadith stipulate the act of sodomy. I no longer see homosexuality as a "disease", sure it probably is a test, but I believe that love is genderless and I don't see anything wrong with loving another guy. If you want to get all technical and talk about different acts that are prohibited, that's fine, but just loving I see nothing wrong with.

    You can view homosexuality as a massive trial that will be a burden on your head for the rest of life or you can accept it as another part of you and break the chains of self hatred. It's still a trial, but you're using 2 different mentalities.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    (Before I begin, I just want to say that I know the stance of homosexuality within Islam and it's rulings and that I do adhere to my religion and no, homosexuality is not a choice).

    I am a gay muslim and wanted to get some advice. Apart from 2 people, no one knows that I am gay. Trying to reconcile my homosexuality with Islam has been hard, to say the least, and it doesn't help that I have hardly anyone to talk to about this, hence why I am making this thread.

    What can I do to reconcile with myself, instead of going into a pit of depression, anxiety and self hatred, which I am slowly going into? Telling anyone within the family or the muslim community would be social suicide and I would treated as someone with an incurable highly infectious disease. Any advice would be appreciated, particularly from any other gay muslims.

    Heyy, I just wanted to let you know that your such a brave personn to be going through this, and i hope that whatever happens, it works out just right, although i know (as a Muslim myself) that there are a lot of battles yet to be won before you are able to settle down happily.

    Although Islam strictly dishonours the idea of homosexuality, i personally do not understand why? Like, if you can still follow your deen, and worship Allah SWT sincerely, i believe that nothing else should matter.

    Although amongst the Muslim community, this matter will not be taken easily or lightly, i believe that if you are adamant you are still a humble servant of Allah SWT you should not be scared to publicise it.

    whatever you do choose, and whatever does happen, i wish you luck
    xx
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by shareen96)
    Heyy, I just wanted to let you know that your such a brave personn to be going through this, and i hope that whatever happens, it works out just right, although i know (as a Muslim myself) that there are a lot of battles yet to be won before you are able to settle down happily.

    Although Islam strictly dishonours the idea of homosexuality, i personally do not understand why? Like, if you can still follow your deen, and worship Allah SWT sincerely, i believe that nothing else should matter.

    Although amongst the Muslim community, this matter will not be taken easily or lightly, i believe that if you are adamant you are still a humble servant of Allah SWT you should not be scared to publicise it.

    whatever you do choose, and whatever does happen, i wish you luck
    xx
    Thank you for responding.

    I don't believe it's homosexuality that Islam is against, it's certain acts.

    Thank you again for the wishes =)
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    (Before I begin, I just want to say that I know the stance of homosexuality within Islam and it's rulings and that I do adhere to my religion and no, homosexuality is not a choice).

    I am a gay muslim and wanted to get some advice. Apart from 2 people, no one knows that I am gay. Trying to reconcile my homosexuality with Islam has been hard, to say the least, and it doesn't help that I have hardly anyone to talk to about this, hence why I am making this thread.

    What can I do to reconcile with myself, instead of going into a pit of depression, anxiety and self hatred, which I am slowly going into? Telling anyone within the family or the muslim community would be social suicide and I would treated as someone with an incurable highly infectious disease. Any advice would be appreciated, particularly from any other gay muslims.
    You are not alone as other people have demonstrated on this thread

    You shouldn't hate yourself for who you are neither should you change yourself for others.

    You can still be Muslim and gay just obviously without any sexual actions.

    You are a good person and open minded, you've gone through a lot and it's time to start accepting be optimistic and with regards to what others think of you, their thoughts should be taken out of the equation

    PM me if you want Just stay strong and know you're not alone!
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by yarshad)
    You are not alone as other people have demonstrated on this thread

    You shouldn't hate yourself for who you are neither should you change yourself for others.

    You can still be Muslim and gay just obviously without any sexual actions.

    You are a good person and open minded, you've gone through a lot and it's time to start accepting be optimistic and with regards to what others think of you, their thoughts should be taken out of the equation

    PM me if you want Just stay strong and know you're not alone!
    Thank you for responding and thank for your kind response

    I may take you up on that =)
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Thank you for responding.

    I don't believe it's homosexuality that Islam is against, it's certain acts.

    Thank you again for the wishes =)
    (Original post by yarshad)
    You are not alone as other people have demonstrated on this thread

    You shouldn't hate yourself for who you are neither should you change yourself for others.

    You can still be Muslim and gay just obviously without any sexual actions.

    You are a good person and open minded, you've gone through a lot and it's time to start accepting be optimistic and with regards to what others think of you, their thoughts should be taken out of the equation

    PM me if you want Just stay strong and know you're not alone!

    Thank you for your support

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    This is why religion in general makes me sad, some of it spreads so much hate throughout the world, and causes situations like this when really nice people are put through misery due to how they are.

    I'm non-religious and straight so obviously I can't relate to your situation at all, but I've seen the way Muslims speak of homosexuality before (I saw a facebook thread by a Muslim group discussing homosexuality, and I went there and fought for gay rights).
    Other religions (Christianity especially I can think of) pick parts of their holy book to follow and believe and others not to believe.
    I don't know anything about the Qur'an so I'm sorry if I get anything wrong.
    I'm sure Allah is supposed to be a loving God who will be somewhat accepting as long as you believe in Islam. Much like the Bible, I'm sure the Qur'an was written in a time where many things were seen as wrong, but are acceptable now. It's most likely outdated and it's such a shame that a religion will follow a teaching that makes innocent people victims of much hate.

    As you've said, many people of your religion choose to ignore some teachings, and yet are so against gays in the Islamic community. I believe that you can be both gay and Muslim as being gay isn't a choice.
    In the world people used to be seen as being taken over by the devil or something wrong with them due to being left handed, which obviously isn't true now. Being left handed isn't genetic, environmental, it's not a choice, it's just random. The exact same thing happens with gays and I can think of dozens of arguments for the usual anti-homosexual arguments I see thrown around by simple minded people.
    Much like how racism and sexism used to be a major issue and is now seen as something stupid, a lot of the western world are now seeing how homophobia is now stupid and that we should all be accepting of others.

    You would think that Muslims wouldn't hate on someone for being a homosexual, with the amount of Islamophobia in the world you would think they would learn not to judge people and that we should be accepting of all others. If they want to be treated as if they're just like everyone despite their beliefs, then they should treat anyone the same despite their sexuality. Homophobia is worse actually, since religion is a choice.

    It's obvious that stopping to believe in Islam isn't going to solve your problem, your problem isn't the religion. Your problem is being rejected by your family and friends, which obviously wouldn't be any different wherever you're Muslim or not, as it's going by their beliefs, not yours.
    I personally think that if your parents truly loved you they would stick through you, some people can surprise you. Some strongly religious homophobic people learn to be accepting when they find out their child is homophobic. I believe that if your parents wanted to disown you then they can't love you truly as their own flesh and blood should come before sinning.

    I am really sorry that I can't help, unfortunately there are no easy answers to this but either way I think you should inform your family at some point. Maybe your mother first? I think you put that she might be more accepting than some others. I really can't even imagine what a horrible position you must be in and my heart goes out to all those people suffering at the hands of homophobia.

    I hope that when you eventually come out that some of your family and friends will still stick by you, as that's what family and friends are for.
    Good luck ♥
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    (Original post by The.Defender)
    Thank you for your support

    Posted from TSR Mobile
    No worries
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    As a muslim myself i feell verryy sorrry for youuu. I hope the best for youuu

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    Hello Anonymous,I'm a Muslim (I converted to islam about 10 years ago) and I am also gay, like you.First let me say that you will change a LOT in the coming years. I don't know how old you are, but I am now 28, and over the last ten years, I have realised and discovered so many things about myself and my life.Until about age 25 I had the same mindset as you, I was really depressed and ready to do anything to become 'normal' and fit in society.I think you should ask yourself, why REALLY would you like to get married and have kids? Is it truly because you would love to have a woman by your side, and being around kids has always been your passion? Or is it rather because you simply don't want to be the ugly duckling, you don't want to be an outcast in your community, you want to belong and fit in and live the type of life that OTHERS would want you to live. I.e. isn't it simply because you're afraid of people judging you and your lifestyle?I don't know about you, but I realised at some point that it was my case. God gave me a chance to meet other people who are deeply religious and gay, just like me, and who know for sure that they're not getting married and they've made peace with that reality.And so have I.Now the one huge thing that still bothers me is loneliness. When you are married and have kids, it usually means you will have people around you when you grow old (though this is changing!). Right now I don't feel this problem because I can still live with flatmates and friends for a few more years. But what will happen when I turn, say, 45? I can't live with flatmates all my life... and then I'll be alone...OR... I find another Muslim gay guy who's religious too, and who understands exactly what our limits are supposed to be. And I live with him as a couple, in a platonic relationship. And we do NOT care about people's judgement, because they won't be the judges of the Last Day.Secondly, and I'm not sure if this will apply to you, I hope it will...I've realised through experience, that a huge factor in sexual urges is emotions and stress. How did I find out? Well I met a gay guy whom I found very attractive, and who was happy just sharing sexless hugs and cuddles with me. For the sex, he would go to other guys. For the human warmth, he would come to me. And while this went on, I had absolutely no desire to have actual sex with a guy, because my emotional needs were covered.So I think you should try to analyse your desires and your urges, separate what's purely instinct and primal from what's actually emotional. Islam forbids you to satisfy the sex part, but not the emotional part. If you could work on emotions, it might help you control your sexuality. At least it works very well for me.Now my hope currently is to find someone like this guy I was talking about, but a Muslim, who would inspire me to improve my spiritual condition and give me what I need emotionally at the same time. I know for a fact that such people exist. Salam alaykum
    • #12
    #12

    One thing which may help you is the realisation that you're not alone. Honestly, you are not alone and others have had to go through the same things that you have.

    Inshallah you will be rewarded for your faith in the hereafter.
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    I'm Muslim myself and you will get a lot of hate etc from some Muslims and from others nothing but in Islam where does it give us the right to judge another human ?? So surely if someone is judging you there being hypocritical as they themselves are going against the teachings of Islam as in the end it's only you in your grave and me in mine and them in theirs. In regards to being homosexual IMO as I believe religion is subjective I think that it's fine to have the thoughts and desire but if anything is acted upon only then will it become a sin IMO because in Islam god is all forgiving if you think a bad act nothing will happen even if you do a bad act god will not count that for you if you repent and are truly sorry whereas even if you merely think a good act you will get the reward for it this should tell the nature of god.

    I'm not in the same position as you so i haven't a clue how U must feel and honestly I feel sad for you not that your homosexual but thinking about what some people of our religion or any religion would say to you. Remember though that as long as you love god I believe he will love you too and don't let anyone tell you that you're not a Muslim I wish you a great and happy life in the here and hereafter
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Numan786)
    I'm Muslim myself and you will get a lot of hate etc from some Muslims and from others nothing but in Islam where does it give us the right to judge another human ?? So surely if someone is judging you there being hypocritical as they themselves are going against the teachings of Islam as in the end it's only you in your grave and me in mine and them in theirs. In regards to being homosexual IMO as I believe religion is subjective I think that it's fine to have the thoughts and desire but if anything is acted upon only then will it become a sin IMO because in Islam god is all forgiving if you think a bad act nothing will happen even if you do a bad act god will not count that for you if you repent and are truly sorry whereas even if you merely think a good act you will get the reward for it this should tell the nature of god.

    I'm not in the same position as you so i haven't a clue how U must feel and honestly I feel sad for you not that your homosexual but thinking about what some people of our religion or any religion would say to you. Remember though that as long as you love god I believe he will love you too and don't let anyone tell you that you're not a Muslim I wish you a great and happy life in the here and hereafter
    This is one of the most kindest responses I have gotten from another Muslim. Thank you so much =).

    I always believe that as fellow human beings (and hence equal to each other) that we cannot judge each other, but we can kindly advise.

    I'm not sad that I'm gay, because it's become a part of me, I'm sad because of how others around will react if/when they do find out. My life may be at risk.

    I wish you all the best as well for this world and hereafter, Ameen =) .
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    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uRzvrk4cZHc

    Watch the above video for advice =)
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Thanks for responding.

    I don't believe there's anything wrong with being gay and Muslim. I didn't choose to feel the way I did as much as you. I'm Muslim that happens to be attracted to men, is that really wrong?

    Not the Qur'an, it's a lesser hadith that says that.

    You automatically assume that homosexuality is psychological? That is far from the truth. A lot of it is physiological as I've said before.

    When I read this, it reminded of me of myself a couple of years ago. I hated myself and parts of me still do.

    As I said, the Qur'an and hadith stipulate the act of sodomy. I no longer see homosexuality as a "disease", sure it probably is a test, but I believe that love is genderless and I don't see anything wrong with loving another guy. If you want to get all technical and talk about different acts that are prohibited, that's fine, but just loving I see nothing wrong with.

    You can view homosexuality as a massive trial that will be a burden on your head for the rest of life or you can accept it as another part of you and break the chains of self hatred. It's still a trial, but you're using 2 different mentalities.
    Hey i really respect you for being this open and strong during a test such as this. I honestly believe that no matter what the scriptures say Allah has his own workings for each and everyone of us. I believe that if you can continue to practice the deen and devote your life to the cause than your sexuality isnt an issue for anyone else to judge you upon. Leave it to Allah. As for the future i think you should separate from your family and let them know once your ready as eventually the urge of intimacy wont be controllable. I recently read an article written by a lesbian muslim woman who found it just as hard but she did the same: continued to keep a strong iman and separated from the family. She began a gay relationship but both women were devout muslims that went to the mosque to pray but obviously they never told the community.

    Please pm me if you need anyone to talk to. Goodluck

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    (Original post by hamza1394)
    Hey i really respect you for being this open and strong during a test such as this. I honestly believe that no matter what the scriptures say Allah has his own workings for each and everyone of us. I believe that if you can continue to practice the deen and devote your life to the cause than your sexuality isnt an issue for anyone else to judge you upon. Leave it to Allah. As for the future i think you should separate from your family and let them know once your ready as eventually the urge of intimacy wont be controllable. I recently read an article written by a lesbian muslim woman who found it just as hard but she did the same: continued to keep a strong iman and separated from the family. She began a gay relationship but both women were devout muslims that went to the mosque to pray but obviously they never told the community.

    Please pm me if you need anyone to talk to. Goodluck

    Well then she clearly failed the test god gave her. As the OP has said before, god gives everyone a test that he knows isn't too hard for the person to handle. Homosexual intimacy in Islam is forbidden. If you're gay you have to tough it out, that's just how it is, there is no "ohh, but even though gay sex is forbidden I can still do it because I pray everyday etc.etc." no, because by that logic you can eat pork if you pray everyday. Anal sex is forbidden as much as pork is, there's no two ways about it.
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    interesting in most thread about islam many muslims are keen to comment, not so many here it seems. for the op , obviously most muslims ive read elsewhere say its quite normal to be gay and a muslim, but islam forbids you anal sex.
 
 
 
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