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what is wrong with me? Watch

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    i have a problems maybe someone can help. let us begin when i was small i am not from the uk. when i was small started out in a system which is far from the British system of school.i attended a school which taught that system from when i started out at nursery to year one .at year two my parents took me to a British school because i was failing . i did well at year two i saw my reports the teacher said i was a smart kid would do well.year 3 my mum told me my teacher was a racist and gave me a hard time.from then on i have done poorly barely passing or failing.i barely got enough passes in my o levels to pass. i was bullied in school for a long time i just hated school think it is why i still do.i went to this college passed then now i am in first year second sem. i look back and wonder how i got here. now here i know am going to fail i do not like being with other people i cannot talk to my friends about this i have only three people who i call my friends. even back home i only had two friends. people on my course who i thought were friends always made fun of me so i had enough had an argument now i do not speak to them. my mum is the only one i had i did not tell her everything but without her and everything she has done for me i do not think i would have gotten so far. i cannot tell her how i am feeling now because it would hurt her i do not want to go to the uni counselor i would feel ashamed. the main problem is i cannot learn when i go to class i cannot i cannot concentrate i just sit there and do nothing in labs i manage with help from whoever is next to me. i know my chance of failing is 89.99.at my room i cannot do work just watch movies and porn and smoke weed i say to myself do some notes i do barely a page i just lose concentration.i do like to go out of my room i am scared of people.never had a girlfriend never had a nice conversation with one. i have been told my problems is with motivation concentration and lazyness. i was fat decided to lose weight.it is one of the few things i really wanted to do and have seen it through. i feel alone i feel like sometimes i am falling and i feel some kind of pain this started this sem when it hit me i am a failure who cant do anything is going to fail.my father will be angry i think he just does not like me from when i was small .my sister is very smart always has been . she was were 5th in olevel in her school out of like 75 people my dad likes her my smaller brother he is also smart u can just tell. what is wrong with me why am i the ****ed up one can some one help me? please
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    Hey - I'm really sorry you feel that way. For what it's worth I don't think there's anything 'wrong' with you, it sounds like you've had a tough time of it and that's not your fault. Lots of people haven't have boyfriends/girlfriends at our age - you just don't realise it because it seems as though everyone else is in a relationship. I really don't think you're a failure - you've managed to get to uni and so many people don't get that far. And so what if you fail? I know it sounds easy for me to say but you've got your whole life ahead of you and so much exciting stuff that could happen. And it's tough trying to live up to parents' hopes and expectations but at the end of the day it's your life not theirs and it's up to you to live it as you will. Have you ever told your parents about how you feel? How would they react?

    How come you'd feel ashamed to see a counsellor?

    Hope you're doing ok, hang in there .
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    (Original post by valori)
    Hey - I'm really sorry you feel that way. For what it's worth I don't think there's anything 'wrong' with you, it sounds like you've had a tough time of it and that's not your fault. Lots of people haven't have boyfriends/girlfriends at our age - you just don't realise it because it seems as though everyone else is in a relationship. I really don't think you're a failure - you've managed to get to uni and so many people don't get that far. And so what if you fail? I know it sounds easy for me to say but you've got your whole life ahead of you and so much exciting stuff that could happen. And it's tough trying to live up to parents' hopes and expectations but at the end of the day it's your life not theirs and it's up to you to live it as you will. Have you ever told your parents about how you feel? How would they react?

    How come you'd feel ashamed to see a counsellor?

    Hope you're doing ok, hang in there .
    i cant tell my parents they think everything is okay.my dad does not trust me so he wants to come here and check with the uni whether i am fine. they would not take it well at all especialy my dad. i cant go to a counselor because i cant say everything because i would feel ashamed of the things i do and have done .i cant just feel like i have had enough.
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    Everyone does things they're ashamed of, including counsellors. They're trained to make you feel comfortable and they're never judgemental. Or you could try phoning your uni's Nightline if there is one, or the Samaritans. Just being able to talk about things without being judged can help you to feel a little better. It's ok if you don't feel comfortable talking about the things you've done though.

    Please PM me if you'd like to tell me anything more - I don't know if I'll be able to help but I promise I'll try.
 
 
 
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