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Ex wants to be friends. Still has feelings. Please help? watch

    • Thread Starter

    Been trying to get back with my ex to no avail. We split up because I was an idiot and never told her how I felt about her. Since we split up, because we were close still, times she's said she still likes me and when she's with me she wanted to kiss me. She went on a date, I went into crazy mode, finally told her how I felt, she didn't believe it. Even wrote her a letter detailing how much she meant to me. Did it work? Nope. Eventually told her I was moving on, and we should be friends.

    Same night she texts me whilst we're in a group of friends. I go out the room, she kisses me. I stay back when everyones left, things happen. Next day, we kiss again, she wants more of the same. We stop at risk of getting caught. She rings me later to say it can't happen again. Try to speak to her about it but she shuts me off. See her last week, and she says what happened was a drunken mistake. She'd drank one drink, and a day later she was completely sober! I try and talk her round but she ends up slamming her door in my fact. Try texting, and she says she wants to be a friend to me. I mention a girl who's interested in me, and she tells me to go on a date.

    This weekend I go on the date. We'd also been talking on Twitter. My ex messages me saying me going on this date shows I never meant a word I'd said to her, and I shouldn't be speaking to this girl on Twitter because people are talking. I say that she told me to go on the date, and she says I can do what I want. I reiterate my feelings. She ignores me. I call things off with the other girl because am too into my ex - not fair on the other girl. Can't get my ex out my head. Tell her that, and she rings me. We talk for a bit, and she says she want's to be a close friend to me. We text for a bit afterwards, and I ask how she can just turn off her feelings. She said they never go, she just has to 'grow up'. She then said we both need to channel our feelings into being just friends. So I say about going for a drink, but she says a coffee instead because when we have alcohol things happen - this doesn't happen with just 'friends', right?

    So the past couple of days we've been texting a lot, like how things used to be. Being friendly, making jokes etc. She'd had a bad day on placement, and I was trying to cheer her up. She called me gay and I made a joke about how it's unfortunate because no other girl will get to 'know me', now. She joked back, then I said to her she can spread the word about me. Another joke. She replied 'k'. I said you're a good friend, and she ignored it so said I was joking. She ignored it again.

    Don't understand her. How can we be friends when she admits when we drink stuff will happen? Is there a chance we can be more than just friends again? And why's she being moody with me, I made a joke. Care to explain for me?

    Sounds like she prefers the drama... You could persist and set yourself a time limit on when to call it a day and move on. If you do decide to do that, cut all contact!
    • TSR Support Team

    TSR Support Team
    I would personally walk away and cut contact, sounds like now she is messing you around, maybe she is still hurt from splitting up.

    She's playing stupid games with you and seeking attention. Seriously, move on, what she's doing isn't really healthy.

    This is a classic case of a girl wanting what she cant have; the second you move towards another relationship she wants you; when you come running back she changes her mind.

    Its all about power and control my silly friend and in this case; her exercising power and control over you to bend you to her will.

    Take some advice here and dont take offence; GROW SOME SERIOUS BALLS. Seriously.

    This is what you do; You tell her your fine being friends with her but you are moving on with your life and if anything its best to be just casual now as your tired of the ups and downs.

    Then dont text her or anything; let her work for your attention and start spending time with other girls, dating etc - but DO NOT CONTACT YOUR EX.
    Ignore any comments or things she says to get your attention and get you running back - keep it general and as "Friends" - do not fall for her web of deceit to get you to run back.

    She will feel vulnerable and insecure as soon as she see's you moving away; the second you crumble your back at square one.

    You need to realise there are other fish in the sea; fish that wont string you up and down like a yoyo and play you like a flute to whatever tune they want.

    Women get a lot more better as you get older and so do they - trust me; you can weed out the little annoying ones like this and there really are more opportunities ahead for you.

    Just strap on a pair of balls first and start being a man first.
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Updated: March 12, 2013
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